"I give up," Remo said.
"No. We must not surrender to the dark forces. There are countermagics we can summon up."
"That's not what I-"
Delpha cried, "Back! I must unleash my full charms!"
"Everybody step back thirty or forty miles," Remo growled. "This could be serious."
"What did I ever see in you?" Cheeta sniffed, pulling her cameraman back and pointing first him, and then his lens, in the direction of Delpha Rohmer.
"A snack."
Chiun's wizened cheeks puffed out in indignation. "Remo!"
"Sorry, Little Father."
As Remo watched, Delpha squared her wan shoulders and began to chant, "Max Pax Fax. Spirits of darkness, dispel before my feminine talismans."
She threw up her arms. Nothing happened, except that Remo reached up to pinch his nose. The toadstool odor was there again. He realized it was coming from under Delpha's armpits.
"Is it working?" Cheeta breathed.
Remo looked up. He saw a gray-streaked pigeon attempt to land on one of the trees that decorated the lower setbacks of the Tower and fall through, only to jump out of the trunk in a scattering of frantic wings. "No."
Delpha frowned. "My female powers are not strong enough."
"Tell that to my aching nose," Remo muttered.
"Is there anything I can do, as a female?" Cheeta called.
Delpha looked back over her shoulder.
"Do you shave your armpits?"
"What kind of question is that?" Cheeta wondered.
"Do you?"
"Of course."
"Then you are powerless," Delpha said flatly.
Remo looked at Chiun. "Anything about this you care to explain to a skeptic?"
Chiun sniffed. "It is white magic. It may not be as good as yellow."
"Yellow couldn't smell as bad, that's for sure."
Delpha continued to hold her pose. She stood rigid and unmoving. In the distance, the cacophony of New York traffic noise came and went. It was quieter than usual, and had an almost frightened quality.
Remo noticed that the crawling fireman had finally reached police lines, and was being lifted over the barbed-wire barrier by helpful hands.
His "Thank God!" was probably audible in Hoboken.
When Remo's attention returned to Delpha Rohmer, he saw nothing that made any more sense than before.
Curious, he moved to a better angle.
He saw that under Delpha's armpits were two clots of black hair, thick enough to pass for twin muskrats.
"Is there a name for what you're trying to do?" Remo called. "Or are you just imitating Elsa Lancaster?"
"It is hair magic."
"Hair magic?"
"A potent talisman," Delpha explained, straining to keep her arms high. "Modern women have been brainwashed into shaving their bodily hair."
"I heard it had something to do with good hygiene."
"It is a scheme by men to deprive them of their most attractive lures, their greatest power, before which most gods and male demons are powerless. Delilah understood this."
"Yours aren't exactly raising the dead here," Remo pointed out.
"You are right. I must unveil my most fearsome talisman." Her hands dropped to her shoulder straps.
Remo's eyes went surprised. "Not-"
"I must be skyclad!"
At that, Delpha shrugged her shoulders and her black spidery gown slipped to the sidewalk, revealing a third muskrat.
Remo looked to Chiun. The Master of Sinanju brought one sleeve of his kimono up to his eyes to shield them from the white woman's shameful nakedness. Cheeta was positioning the cameraman and hitting the zoom button.
Remo decided to withdraw.
"Nice show, huh, Little Father?" he asked dryly.
"Why is she naked?" Chiun asked.
"She's trying to flash the goat's head into surrendering."
"Ah, Flash Magic. I have heard of this. Is it working?"
"Well, she is turning bluer."