"Good name for it," said Randal Rumpp, going on to explain how it had all started with a funny Russian voice in his telephone system, and what had squirted out when his secretary picked up a certain receiver.
The voice at the other end said "Ah" again, and in the background a number of people could be heard conversing in rapid, unintelligible Japanese.
Finally a different voice came on. It said, "It appear person wearing gobrin suit was captured by your buirding terephone system, much rike virus in broodstream of a riving person."
"Makes sense," said Randal Rumpp, wondering how a people who couldn't pronounce their L's could be so successful in international business.
"The properties of suit were transferred to buirding."
"That much I figured out by myself," Rumpp said dryly.
"Now person has reft, but your Tower is sinking?"
"You got the picture."
"Perhaps probrem remain in terephone wires," the Nishitsu representative suggested.
"Could be. So what do I do?"
"Ask terephone company to shut off power."
"And if it doesn't work?"
"Carr back."
"Count on it, Chuck."
The AT representative listened to Randal Rumpp's odd request.
"We will be only too happy to comply," the rep said smoothly.
"Great. Do it now."
"However, there is the matter of an unpaid bill due four months ago." Rumpp heard a clicking of a keyboard. "The current outstanding balance is $63,876.14."
"What is this crap! You've been threatening to shut off my lines for weeks over that bill!"
"I imagine so."
"'Well, I'm still in arrears. So shut me off, Chuck!"
"Not without payment."
"You can't do this! It's un-American!"
"Continued service is entirely an AT ," the infuriatingly unruffled voice said. "In this case, we elect to continue to serve your telephonic needs."
"I demand to be disconnected! Right now!"
The line went click, and Randal Rumpp found himself listening to a dial tone.
He hung up the telephone, with no life left in his eyes.
"I'm dead," he said dully. "I'm sinking into the earth and I'm dead."
A thought occurred to him.
"Where the heck am I going, anyway?"
Rumpp went to a hand-carved globe and spun it. He picked out the longitude and latitude of Manhattan, spun the globe, and found their counterparts on the other side. It was in a mountainous border region of what was once the Soviet Union.
"Great," he muttered. "I'm heading for 'Kazakhstan.' I never even heard of Kazakhstan. They probably don't even speak English there. Maybe I'd better just surrender."
But the pounding at the credit-control doors made him think again. It was getting louder. Louder than the insistently ringing office telephones. They really wanted him. Wanted him bad.
"What the heck!" he told himself. "Can't hurt to call those riceballs at Nishitsu again. I haven't threatened to sue them yet. Maybe I can hose them into building Rumpp Tower II. "
Grinning, Randal Rumpp reached for his portable cellular phone.
Chapter 31
Rair Brashnikov was attempting to induce the two American agents to let him remove his helmet.
"No," said the Caucasian.
"I am having trouble breathing."
"Then die quietly."
The Oriental was arguing with the Caucasian. They were arguing over his head. The Oriental wanted it removed from his shoulders, and the Caucasian was in favor of letting Brashnikov keep it.
In the meantime, they were waiting for the telephone to ring. And then it did.
The Caucasian picked it up.
"Yeah, Smitty. What's the deal?" The Caucasian listened.
He looked up and said to the Oriental, "Smitty says the Rumpp Tower is still sinking, and they can't get Rumpp out."
"Offer to Smith our services to extricate the schemer, Rumpp."
"Smitty. Chiun says we can get Rumpp out." He listened again. "Okay. What do with do about Ivan here? Gotcha."
The Caucasian hung up.
"Smith says we grab Rumpp."