And now here she is again, and will be, for a while at least.
It’s hard to get excited about that.
But life goes on.
Everything progresses in one direction or another. Relationships, abilities, illnesses, disabilities.
Knowledge.
School. A new life where few will know her. Where few will call her narc girl. But where many will dream.
She sighs.
One day at a time. One dream at a time.
Her choice is made. For now. For today.
“This is it,” she whispers to the buzzing wires. “This is really it.”
The chill of the evening, the preamble to autumn, has arrived, and Janie rubs her bare arms, covered in goose bumps.
It’s exhausting to think about it all. Quietly, she goes inside. Locks the door behind her. Slips off her shoes and tosses her backpack on the couch. But before Janie says a last good night tonight, she has just one more task in mind.
She pads on bare feet down the short hallway in the quiet night.
And pauses at the portal to another world.
There’s just one more sorrow’s dream to change.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Many thanks to all my invisible friends who shared their painful stories about what it’s like to live with an alcoholic parent, and to Carl Loerwald at the Washtenaw Alano Club in Ann Arbor, Michigan, for all his help.
Thanks also to:
Jennifer Klonsky, whose tough suggestions made me cry Gone so much better. And, of course, to my agent, Michael Bourret, my favorite person on earth, for everything and more.
Diane Blake Harper, for being wonderful and for having the tackiest snow-globe collection ever.
To Marcia and Dan Levy for all the early help—it was an honor to learn things from you. And to
Joanne Levy for the priceless feedback. Go, NDP!
Matt and Kilian, for being awesome guys; Rachel Heitkamp and Kennedy, for letting me use their cool buzzword; and to Trevor Bowler, because I promised.
And to all the fans of the Wake trilogy: Thank you from the bottom of my heart for spreading the word about Janie and Cabe. You are amazing. I am grateful.
To anyone whose life is impacted by someone else’s drinking problem, please check out Alateen or Al-Anon at www.al-anon.alateen.org.