“Hey, I’m a Sâbbat, remember?” I threatened. “I can get inside your head if I want to.” For a second there, I actually thought about doing itwithout his permission. But it seemed so wrong, so sneaky. Like reading your boyfriend’s e-mails or texts when he wasn’t looking. I didn’t want to be that kind of girlfriend, no matter how curious I was.
“If you’re asking if I’ve ever hooked up with Jenna Holley, the answer is no. But go on, feel free to read my thoughts if you don’t believe me.”
“That’s okay,” I said, deciding to trust him. “But I’d watch out if I were you, because I think she wants you.” It was the only other explanation I could come up with.
But he laughed at that. “I don’t think so. Jenna and I. well, let’s just say there’s an uneasy truce between us. An understanding of sorts, end of discussion.”
I folded my arms across my chest. “That’s all you’re going to tell me?”
“Jenna’s secrets are not mine to tell,” he said quietly.
“Great,” I muttered. “Keep her secrets, then.”
“Are you jealous?” he asked, sounding surprised.
Yeah, I was, and I hated it — I felt like a total bitch. “Maybe,” I said, hedging. “Just a little. I mean, c’mon, have you looked at her? Who could compete with that?”
“You’ve no competition, Violet. Not ever,” he added, with such assurance that I felt small and petty for doubting him.
I nodded, swallowing a lump in my throat.
“Let’s get back to work,” he said, tapping his chest again.
Which only drew my attention back to his pecs. There went my thoughts, right back into the gutter. “You know, there are much more interesting things we could be doing right now,” I said.
He just stood his ground, completely unaffected. “Not today.”
Immediately I thought of Isabel. There it was again, that ugly green-eyed monster. “I bet you never refused your little opera dancer.”
“And she ended up dead for her pleasure,” he reminded me. “Remember that.”
“What, now you’re going to get all protective of me? Ten minutes ago you were showing me how to kill you. Or do you prefer the word ‘slay’?”
“Call it what you like, so long as you learn how to do it properly.”
I took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. “This sucks, you know that? Big-time.”
“Yeah, I know. Now, come on, let’s try it one more time. You’ve got to get the angle right, or you’ll miss the heart.” His voice softened. “How about this? A compromise — I’ll reward you with a kiss if you get it right.”
“Fine, then,” I conceded. “Let’s up the ante. Say I get it right three times. Then what do I get?”
“You sure like to live dangerously, don’t you?” he asked, obviously following my train of thought. “I’m not sure whether I should applaud your bravery—” I perked up at that.
“—or chastise you for your stupidity,” he finished with a shake of his head. “You really are your father’s daughter, aren’t you?”
I advanced toward him, clutching the stake so tightly that my knuckles were white. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“If he’d listened to your warning, he’d still be alive, wouldn’t he?”
The stake clattered to the ground, and I slapped him. Hard. “Fuck you!”
He didn’t even flinch; he just continued to stare at me, his eyes shifting from blue to a stormy gray.
Tears flooded my own eyes, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing them fall. I retrieved my bag and headed for the door. “We’re done.
I’m going back to my room now.”
As I pushed open the heavy double door, I heard him mutter, “Well, at least I get to keep my shirt on.”
I fumed the whole way back to the dorm. Only when I stepped into my room — empty, thank God — and slammed the door shut did it occur to me that maybe he’d made me mad on purpose. Ever since Christmas Eve, when he’d almost bitten me, he’d been careful to keep his distance. His kisses had been brief, almost chaste, as if he feared what might happen if we lost our heads and started making out.
And while I respected that — the rational part of me really didn’t want to get bitten — it was frustrating as hell. Maybe he was frustrated too. I hoped he was; it was only fair. Maybe that would explain the sniping, the short tempers.
Or, even worse, maybe it was just our natural instincts finally developing. We were supposed to be enemies, after all. Mortal enemies. “I’m supposed to rid the earth of your kind” enemies. I didn’t want to believe it; it broke my heart to even consider it. But what he’d just said to me. he’d called me stupid, called my dadNo. Oh, no. My vision started to tunnel, and I felt like I was falling into the abyss as I sank to my bed.
“Now, Sâbbat.” It was Julius. I recognized his voice from before. “Now, or your friends die.” I looked behind me — a woman with long, dark hair held Kate in front of her. Beside her, a second woman held Marissa. Both of my friends looked terrified. I turned back toward the voice, saw Julius, saw Aidan beside him. Aidan’s gaze locked with mine, and he nodded, a faint smile on his lips. “Do it, now!” Marissa screamed, her voice full of terror. Aidan spoke in my mind, his voice calm and soothing, “Do it, Violet. There’s no other way. Go on, I taught you how. ”
“No!” I screamed, burying my face in the quilt. I beat the bed with my fists, fighting against hysteria, my throat so tight I thought I might pass out.
And then the tears came.
I must have lain there, sobbing on my bed, for nearly an hour. And the worst part? I kept waiting to hear Aidan’s voice in my mind, comforting me; to feel his presence outside my window; to hear my cell phone ring. something, anything.
Instead there was nothing.
Kate came in and flopped down on Cece’s bed. “Hey, why so glum?”
Sitting beside me, Sophie winced. “She and Aidan had a fight. Where’s Cece?”
“She and Marissa have a study group for English,” I answered, my voice dull. “And it wasn’t a fight, not really.”
“Yeah? So dish,” Kate said.
“I’d rather not. It’s kind of personal, you know?”
“Let me guess.” Kate smiled knowingly. “He tried to get in your pants, and you weren’t quite as easy as he hoped?”
I almost laughed, she was so far off the mark. As if things were as simple as that. “No,” I said, choosing my words carefully. “He just. he said something about my dad that pissed me off, that’s all.”
“Your dad? But I thought. you know.” She cleared her throat uncomfortably. “I thought your dad was dead.”
“He is. And I really don’t like talking about it, not even with Aidan.”
“I get it,” Kate said, nodding. But she didn’t get it, not really.
Everything was so damn complicated, and I had so many secrets to keep, besides. Aidan’s and my own. Everything my friends saw, everything they believed. it was all just smoke and mirrors. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders, an unyielding pressure to make sure they saw only what they were supposed to see; believed only what they were supposed to believe.