“Thanks, you too.”
As soon as she left, I locked the door behind her, promising myself that I’d ask her later if she wanted to talk more about Todd and her parents. I had no idea she had that kind of conflict going on inside that head of hers.
But now. I had to deal with this. I picked up the miniature again and glanced at it one more time, hoping that maybe I’d been wrong, that I’d somehow exaggerated the resemblance in my mind.
But I hadn’t. The girl in the painting was still my long-lost twin.
I need to see you, I called out in my mind. Now.
I’m in the East Hall lounge, came his reply.
I grabbed my key and left, the hateful thing still clutched in my sweaty hand.
As soon as I saw him standing there, my anger began to burn out of control. He looked so cool, so casual. I wanted him to know how pissed I was — I wasn’t even bothering to block my thoughts. Anger, humiliation, rage — it all spilled out of me, and he just stood there, watching me, looking totally indifferent.
“Not here,” he said at last. “Follow me.”
For a full five minutes I trailed behind him, down several sets of stairs and unfamiliar corridors. He opened one door, then another. A light flickered on, and the door shut behind us as I looked around.
It was a tiny room with a desk in one corner, a computer on it, and a daybed against the wall. Opposite the bed were bookshelves, piled high to overflowing. There were no windows, no lights except one overhead fixture.
“This is your room?” I asked, shocked at how bare it was, how simple and cell-like.
“I keep a room in the dorms, too. But yeah, I mostly stay here when I’m not in class or the lab.”
Something dug sharply into my palm, and I remembered the reason I’d followed him there. The miniature. I opened my fingers, revealing it. If he was surprised to see it, he did a good job of hiding it.
“When were you planning on telling me?” I asked, my voice shaking.
Aidan shrugged, but it was clear he knew exactly what I was talking about. “Never, if I could get away with it,” he said, and I wanted to slap him.
“Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”
“Because I was afraid you’d react just like this, that’s why,” he said, his arms folded defiantly across his chest.
“How else am I supposed to react? Look at this thing!” I thrust the miniature at him. “In case you didn’t notice, she looks just like me.”
He met my eyes, his gaze unwavering. “There’s a resemblance, yes.”
“A resemblance?” My voice rose a full pitch. “That’s what you call it? She looks exactly like me!”
“I think you’re exaggerating. Besides, what difference does it make?”
“Are you kidding me?” I sputtered. “What am I, like her stand-in or something? Do you pretend that I’m her all the time, or just when we’re making out?”
“I think you need to calm down, Violet,” he said, reaching for my arm.
I twisted out of his grasp. “Well, at least you got my name right. I am such an idiot. I actually believed that you. you. ” I shook my head, unable to say it.
“I do love you, Violet. I know you don’t believe me, but my feelings for you have nothing to do with her. I admit, at first I was intrigued. Listen to me, Violet — once I got to know you, it was obvious that you were nothing like her. Nothing. She was selfish and shallow—”
“Oh, yeah, so much so that you moved in with her. I don’t buy it, not for a minute. It’s been nothing but lies since the day I met you, hasn’t it? I don’t know what game you’re playing—”
“You really think that I’m. what? Using you? Pretending you’re her? C’mon, Vi, you can’t possibly believe that.” He actually had the nerve to laugh.
“What else am I supposed to think? I mean, you somehow forgot to mention that I look just like your ex? I’m supposed to think it’s just a coincidence?”
He looked away, toward the blank wall, the muscle in his jaw flexing. “Look, I don’t even know what it means, okay? I’ve been reading everything I can about Sâbbats, and I’ve found nothing to explain it.” He shook his head before continuing. “All I’ve got is theories, conjecture based on legend.”
“Like what?” I prodded.
“Reincarnation. For some sort of. I don’t know, retribution?”
I felt the blood drain from my face. I was suddenly cold, so cold. “So let me get this straight,” I said, struggling to keep the hysteria from my voice.
“Now you’re saying I don’t just look like her; I am her? And that’s supposed to make me feel better?”
“It’s just one theory.” He paused. “I have another.”
“Go on.” After all, it couldn’t be any worse than the first.
“The other possibility is that somehow a Sâbbat is born with the face of a. of someone who was important to a vampire in his mortal life. As a form of bait.”
“What do you mean, a form of bait?” And then it dawned on me. “You mean, to draw the vampire in so that the Sâbbat can. can kill it?”
He nodded, his jaw tightening. “Exactly. But like I said, it’s all pure conjecture. I’m just cobbling together—”
“Forget it, I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“So you’re just going to storm out instead, convinced that I’m some kind of asshole who only cares about you because. because what?
Because you look just like my ex, one who’s been dead for more than a hundred years?”
“Yeah, something like that,” I muttered. I mean, if he’d told me from the start, if he’d come clean — okay, I wouldn’t have believed him. Or I would have thought he was crazy or something. And yet, he’d had months to tell me, and he’d decided to keep it from me — would still be keeping it from me if it wasn’t for Jenna spilling the beans.
Read my thoughts, Violet, he said in my mind. Read them, and you’ll know I’m telling the truth.
“I don’t want to get inside your head anymore,” I said, knowing it was cruel, trying to be cruel. “I’m through with this.”
“With me, you mean,” he said, his voice so calm, so cool that I wanted to scream. “Just like that, you no longer trust me?”
“Don’t you see?” I cried, pain tearing through my heart. “How can I ever be sure? How can I know it’s me you love, me you want, and not just the memory of. of her?” I couldn’t even bear to say her name.
He let out his breath in a rush. “Because I’m telling you so, Violet. Because I’ve never lied to you.”
“Oh, no. You don’t lie to me. You just omit things, important things. And you don’t seem to realize that that’s just as bad.”