“That’s not for you to decide! Don’t you get that?”
“This is stupid,” he said, his voice hard. “All you have to do is breach my mind, read my thoughts, and you’ll know I’m telling the truth. Why are you being so stubborn?”
I eyed him sharply. “Can you look me in the eye and tell me honestly that you couldn’t manipulate your thoughts somehow if you wanted to? That you couldn’t make me see whatever you wanted me to see?”
He swallowed hard, and I could see the indecision flashing across his features. He’s trying to decide whether or not to lie to me.
“I could manipulate my thoughts if I wanted to,” he finally said with a nod. “But I wouldn’t do that to you, Violet. You know I wouldn’t.”
“No, I don’t know that!” I cried. “I. never mind. I’m leaving now. I need some space, some time to think. I have to figure out what I’m going to tell my friends. How am I going to explain this? They know it isn’t me in the painting. How did Jenna get it, anyway?”
“I have no idea, but you better believe I’m going to find out. Just tell them I found it at an antique shop or something. I bought it because of the resemblance, that’s all.”
Actually, that wasn’t so bad. Jenna would know I was lying, but I didn’t give a damn.
And then I had a horrible thought — the vision I’d had, the one where I’d seen me and Aidan in bed together. The bed had seemed old, really oldfashioned. Maybe. maybe my visions were shifting. Maybe I wasn’t flash-forwarding to the future, but flashing back to the past. Maybe the girl I’d seen under him in that bed hadn’t been me, but Isabel.
I had to know. “Did you ever. you know, with Isabel, after you were turned?”
“What are you talking about?” he asked, though I could tell he knew exactly what I meant.
“Don’t make me say it, Aidan. Did you or didn’t you? Once you were turned.”
“I am not having this conversation with you. Not now” was all he said, and that was answer enough. I swallowed hard, trying to push the images out of my mind.
“Fine,” I bit out, meeting his gaze. For the first time, I didn’t feel that connection, that physical jolt I always felt when our eyes met. Instead his looked cold, distant — a pale, washed-out gray, totally empty of emotion.
It was happening, I realized. Just as he had warned, just as I had feared. Our feelings for each other were ebbing, replaced by the distrust of two natural-born enemies — vampire and Sâbbat. I no longer trusted his feelings for me, and he was willing to let me walk away.
This is what we’d come to.
And the worst part? I couldn’t even summon the energy to care.
I sat at my desk, staring at the window, where gray sheets of driving rain pelted the glass. I had a paper due the next day in history class, and I was supposed to be doing the final edits on it. It was Sunday, and Cece had gone to an afternoon movie with Todd. Kate was with Jack, and Marissa and Sophie were off somewhere, surely having more fun than I was.
I dropped my head into my hands. I’d been sitting here for nearly three hours, and my paper wasn’t going to get any more polished than it already was. If it wasn’t for the rain, I’d go to the gym and do some practicing, but I didn’t feel like getting drenched, and besides, the damp weather made my shoulder ache like crazy.
So now that I was done with the paper, there was nothing to do — nobody to do anything with, unless I managed to track down Marissa and Sophie. Not an easy thing to do, considering our cell phones had to stay in our rooms.
Deciding to check my e-mail, I went online and found a message from Whitney — dated three days ago. Had it been that long since I’d checked my e-mail?
Hey, Violet! I know it’s been ages since we’ve talked, but I had to tell you the good news — I auditioned for a summer dance program in New York City, and I got accepted! Four weeks, starting in June. I’ll be living in the dorms, but I hope we can hang out some. Maybe I could spend a few days with you and Patsy before it starts? Let me know ASAP if you’ll be around!
Love, Whit I stared at the screen, a little stunned. Whitney, in New York? I wanted to see her — I really did. But what if she wanted to meet my new friends? It’s not like I could introduce her to them — I mean, I could, but we’d all be hiding something from her, and that just didn’t seem right.
I’d have to figure something out. She’d been my best friend for ages — the only close friend I’d had, really, for so many years. I felt like a total jerk even considering blowing her off. Of course, Gran had invited me to spend the summer with her in Atlanta, anyway, so it might not even be an issue.
I hadn’t yet decided what I wanted to do, but I had no real reason to stay in New York.
My cell phone rang, startling me. I reached for it with shaking hands, glancing down at the caller ID.
Patsy.
“Hey, Mom!” I said, trying to hide the disappointment in my voice.
“Hey, there. Just calling to say hi. Are you busy?” Since when did she just call to say hi?
“Just working on a history paper.” Which was the truth, more or less.
“Oh, yeah? How’s school?”
I twisted a lock of hair around one finger as I spoke. “The same. I’m doing really well.”
“Good. Are you still upset about Aidan? You sounded pretty down in your last e-mail. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
I’d told her that Aidan and I had broken up. I have no idea why, except that I knew she’d ask about him, and I didn’t want to talk about him. At all.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll get over it.”
“I know it seems like a big deal now, but there’ll be other guys. Still. I don’t know, over Christmas the two of you seemed so into each other.
Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”
“I’m sure. How’s work? Are you finished with that big case?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Not quite.” I heard a doorbell ring in the background. “Uhoh, someone’s at the door,” Patsy said. “I’ve got to run, okay?”
“Sure.”
I heard a click, and she was gone.
As I put away my phone, I looked up at the calendar above my desk. Only two weeks till spring break. I was really looking forward to getting away from here for a little while, going to Atlanta. After all, the weeks since Valentine’s Day had dragged on, one day no different from the next. I got up, went to class, then came back to my room and studied. Each night I went to fencing practice, then came back and went to bed, where I slept a dreamless sleep, and awoke to start it all over again.
My friends flocked around me, creating a protective circle, trying their best to distract me from what seemed like nothing more than a bad breakup. Kate had gotten a karaoke machine for Christmas, and we spent a lot of time holed up in Cece’s and my room, taking turns with the mic. I reveled in the normalcy of it. When we weren’t belting out tunes, we were watching DVDs or hanging out in the café.
Just normal stuff. Well, normal if you ignored the fact that Kate could pass around the mic telekinetically, and Marissa could somehow predict which song would pop up next, even with the machine set to shuffle.
Still, I saw Aidan every day, twice a day. First-period history and fifth-period anthropology. He no longer sat next to me, but I was always painfully aware of his eyes watching me, studying me. Most days I half-expected to hear his voice in my head — asking for forgiveness, asking to meet me after class, chastising me for abandoning my so-called training. Something. Anything.
But it was complete and total radio silence. A little unnerving, really, but by the beginning of March, I was getting used to it. And even weirder, I didn’t have a single vision in all those weeks. Not one. I couldn’t explain it, except that maybe I’d somehow turned off a switch in my mind, that part of my brain that operated my sixth sense. I convinced myself it was for the best.
But I couldn’t help the anxiety that crept into my heart as spring approached. I tried to push it aside, but it was there, niggling at a dark corner of my brain.
Just because I wasn’t still having the vision didn’t mean it wasn’t going to happen, just as I’d seen it. Maybe I’d made a mistake in cutting Aidan out of my life, or maybe that was just my hormones talking. At some point, though, we were going to have to talk about it, to plan for what was to come. If it was to come.
It was all so confusing.