"It is American slang," said Chiun quickly. "It means a glorious occurrence."
"Yes, it is a great scam we are on the brink of," said Kula. And they drank tea in silence as they waited for the hour of midnight to strike.
"Anyone for opening the trunk?" Remo asked at one point.
Chiun shook his aged head. "It is not yet time."
"So what do we do-sit here telling camp-fire stories?" Remo snapped.
"I will build a fire," Kula said, starting to rise.
"No fire is necessary for those of us who sit in the presence of the Worshipful Nameless Ones in the Dark Who See the Light That is Coming," said Chiun in a magnanimous voice.
Seeing that the old Korean meant Lobsang Drom, Remo said, "Him? It's not dark, he told us his name and besides, he stuck his tongue out the moment he first laid eyes on me."
"Then you should be honored," said Chiun.
"Why should I be honored?" said Remo.
"In Tibet to display the tongue is to give greetings. "
"And you a chiding, " added Kula.
Remo looked his question.
"A foreigner," explained Kula.
"Foreigner? This is my country, not his."
"Now," said Kula.
"What do you mean-now?"
"The Khan of Khans talks of following in the war boots of Lord Genghis, may his praises be sung forever. At the proper moment, he intends to topple the citified Mongols who govern in Ulan Bator. Once that is done, China, Russia and other lands will follow. Korea will be spared, of course."
"I do not care what happens to South Korea, as long as no unpleasant sounds reach my village," said Chiun dismissively.
"Considerate of you," said Remo.
"North Korea will be spared," resumed Kula the Mongol. "Europe will fall in time, and then perhaps this country, if there is sufficient booty and the women are compliant."
"American women are about as compliant as mules," Remo said.
Kula grinned broadly. "I will be happy to tame these American mules."
"A lot of them are diseased. You could catch leprosy or something worse."
"I do not fear their diseases, for American women now have condoms of their very own. Their condoms will protect Mongol men from their diseases."
"Just try to get an American woman to wear one," Remo growled.
Kula leaned over to Remo and confided, "I have heard that they squeak like mice in bed."
"I never heard a woman squeak in bed in my life."
"I meant the condom."
"Let's just change the subject," said Remo, rolling his eyes. "You're a Mongol. Why are you so worried about Tibet?"
"The Chinese think Tibet is Chinese. The Tibetans know they are Tibetan. They are fighting now, which is good. Tibetans do not fight as much as they should, and so they are conquered often. At least once every second century."
"But we are fighting now," said Lobsang Drom.
Kula nodded. "Now you fight. It is a good thing."
"I hear they're getting the crap kicked out of them," said Remo.
"Should they lose, and Tibet become a slave of China forever," said Kula, "the Chinese who think they rule Inner Mongolia will turn their eyes upon Outer Mongolia. This should not happen too soon, before Boldbator Khan unites all of Mongolia. Otherwise, Mongols might lose. And then we will never own the world. Excepting North Korea, of course," he added for Chiun's benefit.
"I do not care about all of North Korea," Chiun said. "Only my village of Sinanju."
Kula brightened. "You would not object if we sack Pyongyang?"
"Pyongyang is yours if the wailing of the vanquished does not keep innocent Sinanju babies awake at night."
"It is agreed. There will be no unseemly wailing. Any so inconsiderate as to wail will be beheaded without mercy."
"Before you divide up the whole world," Remo inserted, "let's stay on the subject. Where does the Bunji Lama fit into this?"
"We Mongols have always followed the Bunji Lama. This is well-known, White Tiger."
Chiun said, "Remo must be forgiven, for he is an orphan and raised by virgins."
"You Mongols are Buddhists?" Remo blurted.
"Of course. This is well-known, too."
"I thought Buddhists were pacifists."
Kula laughed roughly. "Tibetan Buddhists are pacifists. Not Mongol Buddhists. We are fighting Buddhists, proud to slay and conquer in the name of the Buddha of Infinite Compassion, knowing that those who die will be reincarnated anyway, so that Mongols can conquer and slay them all over again. It is a very good system. There is always something to do."
"In times past, Mongols were the protectors of Tibet," said Lobsang Drom.
"So why are you running around looking for the Bunji Lama instead of fighting to free Tibet?" wondered Remo.
"If Mongolia enters the fighting openly, there will be war between Mongolia and China. The Chinese would lose, of course. They only outnumber us five hundred soldiers to one Mongol horseman. But it will take time to defeat China. Better if the Chinese are demoralized by a Tibetan people led by the new Bunji Lama. Then when we strike, they will surrender without resistance, for they will know if they cannot defeat peaceful Tibetans, what chance have they against the new Golden Horde?"