Some things were worth waiting a thousand years for them.
Tarrin drifted into awareness much the same as he had drifted to sleep that night-morning, actually-being a process of complete and utter security and peace. That was something that hadn't happened in quite a while, and it felt almost sinfully luxurious to sleep and wake up knowing he was in a safe and secure environment. He was stretched out on Jesmind's oversized bed on his side, one paw hanging over the edge of the bed with the other tucked up under him, and Jesmind curled up against his back peacefully.
There were other things that felt sinful. Jesmind had-well, it was easy to say that she had really missed him. She had had alot of pent up energy, and she unleashed it all against him last night. But despite her exuberance, she was still the exquisitely tender, sensual lover that he remembered. The year and more that they had been apart seemed to dwindle into nothing in his mind and memory as the two of them renewed their intimacy. There had been almost no conversation, no talking, no communication outside of a touch or a scent, and in a way, he preferred it that way. A touch or scent could say a great deal more than any words could.
Not that it meant much more than physical pleasure. Both of them understood that. Jesmind's reluctance to enter into an intimate relationship with him had more to do with how she feared he would take such a thing, but she had learned that he was a true Were-cat in that regard. He could take her for mate without it affecting his core relationship with her, because to a Were-cat, a physical relationship was just that, physical. He could be mates with a female he couldn't stand, because the mental relationship had very little to do with it. Despite sharing a very intense night of love, his attitudes and feelings for Jesmind had not changed very much, though he'd be the first to admit that his attitude towards her had improved dramatically since the night before. He still was a little angry with her-not much as before, and less every hour-a little annoyed at whatever little game she seemed to be playing, and still trying to feel out where he stood with her, and where he wanted to stand.
That was one of his biggest dilemmas. He laid there and considered it, considered where he wanted to be. Jesmind had made it clear that she was not going to leave, even to the point of sharing the house with his parents. He had always considered the farm to be his home, and with Jesmind here too, it made it seem even more of a home, because it would hold both sides of his family within it. Being around Jesmind all the time would lead to two absolutes, he was sure of it. The first was that they would be mates. The second was with such a long-standing relationship and continual exposure to one another, they would fight like angry hornets, just about every day. Both of them were almost ridiculously stubborn, and when they came out on opposite sides of the fence, nine times out of ten it was the fence that was going to suffer for their inability to agree on the issue.
Tarrin thought it over, straining to remember what Triana taught him about Were-cat children. Jasana would be fully grown at around age ten, so that meant that he'd have about eight or so years sharing space with Jesmind. After Jasana was grown and out of the house, Jesmind would probably drift away, and he would be alone again. He found himself surprised that he didn't like that idea, though.
It was the human in him. He may be Were, but he was born human, and his human concepts and morality were much stronger in him than they were in most other Were-cats. Tarrin still clung to the concept of marriage and family, despite the fact that that wasn't going to happen, because it was what he had been raised to expect out of life. Those lessons didn't fade with the fur and the ears. He'd never have a wife, but he could have mates, and enjoy it while it lasted. Jesmind was his mate now. He should enjoy it until time and changing interests and attitudes caused them to drift apart.
Strange. Two days ago, he hadn't even known Jesmind was here. He hadn't known about Jasana, and now here he was, considering how to plan his life around the two of them. It felt almost like he was cheating himself out of a whole lot of righteous anger and indignation towards his fiery-haired mate, but he had to admit that she had quite effectively defused him. That night of shared love showed him that Jesmind knew him, knew him very, very well, and she had known all the right buttons to press and all the right words to say to steer him in the direction that pleased her the most.
Tarrin would have taken offense to that, but he knew that her guidance and urging was towards an amicable relationship with her. She wasn't trying to control him, she just wanted him to like her. That was all. Not love her, not do her bidding, but just like her. He could respect that, respect how much she had been willing to bend, to sacrifice, to bring that about. For Jesmind to accommodate someone else was a story worthy of a town crier. It simply wasn't in her nature to bend for another, yet she had done it for him. That willingness to compromise, to accede to him at least in some ways both surprised him and inclined him towards her.
She had worked very hard for that day and a half to just hear him say he didn't hate her. He looked inside himself, and he found that he truly did not. In fact, despite his lingering anger and suspicion concerning her, he held a very favorable opinion of her now. He did like her, and probably maybe more than that. At one time, he had loved Jesmind. That had faded over time, but now, with her so close to him, he saw that there was a good chance that that love may be rekindled in him.
But if that happened, it would be long after he left them, got back on his journey to stop the ki'zadun and protect Suld. But this time, he'd know where she was, and he knew that she would be waiting for him.
That little problem suitably resolved in his mind, he moved on to the next one. Jasana. He honestly didn't know what he was going to do with her. Her power was awakened, and that was a very bad thing. She was sui'kun, or at least she would be, and the possbility that she would touch High Sorcery and threaten to destroy herself was very real and very worrisome. He knew it was just a matter of time now before she learned how to use her power, and then she would put herself in a tremendous amount of danger. Being a child, she wouldn't be able to resist using her magic, and that was going to cause a catastrophe in one way or another. Either for herself or for the unfortunate people around her, when impulse got the better of caution and she used her Sorcery.
He had to leave. He didn't have a choice. But Tarrin was the only thing that would keep Jasana's power under control. If she started using magic, he had to be very close to her to prevent her from hurting herself, or anyone else. But he couldn't do that, and the Goddess knew that he was not going to take that child with him. He was going into battle!
It was a no-win situation. He couldn't leave Jasana alone, yet he couldn't take her with him. He didn't know what to do. It just tumbled over and over and over in his mind until it started giving him a headache. He rolled over on his back and put his paw over his eyes, groaning slightly at the problem as Jesmind repositioned herself in her sleep, draping a paw over his chest and snuggling against his shoulder. He just couldn't see any kind of acceptable solution that satisfied both sides of the problem. And since he couldn't, he put it aside for a while to think about it again later.
He was really going to miss this place. Coming home, even for a few days, it had done him a world of good. He hadn't felt so calm, so relaxed, so happy, in a very long time. It had been months since he'd slept peacefully, and even longer since he'd had the opportunity to sleep in a bed that fit him. Most beds were too small, forcing him to sleep in cat form if only to fit. That was all well and good, but sometimes he didn't want to sleep in cat form, because the dreams and thoughts he had in that form were alot different from the ones he had in his natural form. There at home, he not only had the chance to unwind and relax after his long, long period of running for his life, he also had a chance to meet his daughter and reestablish an old relationship with Jesmind.
He was absolutely certain that coming home was the reason why the Goddess wanted him to stay on the ground. At first, he thought it was because of Jasana, but now he knew that that was only a part of it. She just wanted him to relax and feel happy for a little while. There was time enough to defend Suld later, right at that moment, he wanted nothing to do with anything even remotely resembling importance or titanic, earth-shaking magnitude. He wanted one full day where the most important thing he had to do was decide what he wanted to chase down for dinner. Just one day. He knew that that wasn't going to happen, not with him leaving tomorrow, but hopefully he could minimize the important things and concentrate on the small ones.
Jesmind stirred beside him, then her claws extended and pressed against his chest lightly. Her breathing shifted, telling him that she had woke up. She yawned languidly and then snuggled against him just a little more, sighing contentedly. "Good morning," she purred.
"Yes, it is," he replied in a dreamy kind of introspection. "Sleep well?"
"I slept like a rock," she chuckled. "You wore me out. That's quite an accomplishment."
"You wore yourself out," he corrected her mildly.
"Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes a girl lustful," she said with a laugh.
"That could be a new saying."
"Only for humans that don't turn all red at the slightest mention of things that have no meaning anyway," she chuckled. "Garyth's wife, Mara, she's perputally red all the time when I'm around."
"She's a respectable, morally straight-laced woman, Jesmind," he told her. "She takes offense at seeing a girl's petticoats. I can only imagine what some of the things you say would affect her."
"I've made her faint a few times," she said with a wicked chuckle. "Now it's a game to see how mortified I can get her."
"You're an evil woman, Jesmind."
"I know. Isn't it fun?"
Tarrin laughed helplessly, pulling her up against him a little more. "I'm going to miss you when I leave," he admitted.
"Oh, what a nice thing to say," she purred happily, slithering up on top of him, putting her arms on his chest and staring down into his eyes for a long moment. "What do you want to do today?"
"Absolutely nothing of importance," he said immediately. "At least not willingly. I know work is going to come find me, but I'm not going to go look for it."
"Well, if you want a holiday, you came to the right place," she smiled. "We could spend all day in here."
"You're forgetting about Jasana," he smiled.
She frowned. "I knew there had to be some kind of drawback to having children," she fretted. "They interfere with trying to make more."
Tarrin chuckled, putting his paws on her waist, sliding them up and down her sides gently.
"I know that this doesn't really change things between us, mate," she told him in a reasonable tone. "I know you're probably still a little angry with me."
"A little," he admitted honestly.
"I can live with that. I just want to know that you don't hate me."
"I don't hate you, Jesmind," he told her with soft eyes.
Her eyes went vulnerable for a moment, which triggered a response in him. He wrapped his arms around her back and held her just tightly enough for her to realize it. "Do you really have to go tomorrow?" she asked in a hesitant voice. "I don't want you to leave again."
"Duty calls, Jesmind. If anyone would understand what duty means to me, I'd think that it would be you."
"Only too well," she grunted with a frown, looking down at him. "Since it's quiet, you can tell me some things."
"Like what?"
"Mother's told me about what you've done and where you've been, but she's usually not very descriptive about it. I think she's trying to keep some things quiet, or secret. What was that Demon woman like? Really."
"Shiika? To be honest, she reminded me of you."
Jesmind suddenly glared at him.
He laughed. "She is alot like you, Jesmind. She has the same directness about her. With Shiika, you know where you stand. We were enemies, but that didn't stop her from being… conversational. She was a strange woman."
"Was she pretty?"
"She's a Demon, Jesmind. She can appear any way she wants to appear. Don't you think she'd choose something attractive?"
Jesmind laughed. "Well, if she can look any way she wants, I guess she could."
"Vanity seems to be a universal constant," Tarrin said abstractly.
"What was the desert like?"
"Very, very hot," he replied. "The sun made me as dark as an Arakite, and it did this to my hair," he added, reaching up and touching the nearly white cap of hair on his head.
"I don't know, I kind of like it that way," Jesmind smiled, reaching up and patting it. "But it looks too severe like this. What happened to your bangs?"
"They grew," he chuckled. "I had to put them in the braid."
"I don't like it." She extended a claw and carefully sheared his hair, just below his ears, freeing his bangs. The blond-white locks slid down from their constrainment and tickled the top of his forehead lightly. "There. That makes you look much nicer. It softens your face."
"Until they grow again," Tarrin chuckled, reaching up and flicking the loose hair with a finger.
"You're a Were-cat, Tarrin. Just like that Shiika woman can appear any way she wants, you can make your hair any length you want. Mist keeps her hair almost as short as a human man's. It's all a matter of want."
"Well, if that's the case, I'll keep my hair this way," he said with a smile. "Just because you like it this way."
"I like long hair too," she said, tousling her hair for him. "Something else we have in common."
"At least mine doesn't look like a tornado went through it," he winked.
"It'll wash out," she said with a grin.
"How will I tell?"
Jesmind laughed, then reached down and drew little circles on the side of his cheek with her finger. "I like my hair wild."
"I noticed."
"Was mother pulling my leg when she said you helped Jula after she went mad?"
He shook his head. "She's a Were-cat, so I could use magic affecting the mind on her. With Dolanna's help, I was able to regress her madness back to where she was rational, then teach her how to stop the process from happening again."
"That was nice of you."
"I wasn't too happy about taking her for a child, but I guess it all worked out."
"I'm surprised you did, seeing as who she was and what she did to you."
"I know. I think I did it because I was tired of destroying things. Just once, I wanted to help someone, not ruin their lives. And, to be honest, I felt very sorry for her. If you'd have seen her like I did, you'd have done almost anything for her out of pity. She was the most hopeless, miserable thing I'd ever seen."
"Did you sleep with her?"
"Jesmind!" Tarrin said in surprise.
"Well sorry," she grumbled. "I'm curious, that's all."
"You're jealous!" he laughed.
"A little," she admitted with a slight blush. "All this time, I've still considered you my mate, Tarrin. Mates get jealous when their mates stray. I was jealous over Mist too, but not that much. At least with her, I knew you had a good reason for doing it."
"You said she's close. Have you seen her?"
Jesmind nodded. "She brought Eron to visit me," she said. "And introduce him to his half-sister. He looks just like a little you. He even has your hair and fur."
"He does?"
Jesmind nodded. "There's absolutely no doubt that Eron is your son. Anyone who looks at him swears up and down that it must be you, somehow magically turned into a baby."
Tarrin chuckled. "I hope he makes Mist happy."
"She's deleriously happy," Jesmind smiled at him. "I've never seen her so open before. She actually relaxed when she visited, and held Jasana. I never thought I'd see such things out of Mist. What you did for her, mate, it was a miracle."
"I'm glad for that," he sighed. "She was so lost. I felt so sorry for her."
Jesmind smiled. "She's absolutely devoted to you, Tarrin. Half the time she was here, she did nothing but ask questions about you. I don't think she wants you for mate, but you definitely have a friend for life. She'd walk through fire if you asked her to do it."
"I don't think I'll be doing that any time soon," he said dryly.
"I hope not." She looked down at him. "Why was everything still here?" she asked. "When I first got here, I found some things missing, but almost everything else here. Why did your parents leave so much behind?"
"Because they didn't think they'd be gone so long," he replied. "When they came to Suld, it was just to visit. But then I-" he closed his eyes. That was still a very painful memory. "But then I nearly killed mother, and they stayed in Suld while everyone was trying to find me. After that, Jegojah attacked them, and I told them to go somewhere where they couldn't be found, for their own safety. So they went to Ungardt for a while."
"I've always wondered about that," she said. "I about had a heart attack when I found that magical object in the cellar. I couldn't believe that they'd leave something that rare and valuable behind. They're lucky it was still here."
"This is Aldreth, Jesmind," he chided with a smile. "Nobody would dream of stealing it. Some things were missing because my parents wrote Garyth and asked him to store some things for them."
"He said something like that, but I wasn't paying much attention when he said it," she admitted.
"Well, there you go. The mystery is solved."
She smiled at him. "You're leaving tomorrow, aren't you?" she asked.
"How many times are you going to ask that question?"
"Until I hear an answer I like, I suppose," she said with a little smile. "I don't want you to go."
"I really don't want to go either, but I have to," he sighed.
"I heard what you want to do today, but what are you really going to do today?"
Tarrin looked up at her, then laughed ruefully. "Go into the village and make sure that everyone's going to be ready, I suppose," he answered. "Outside of that, I really don't know."
"Well, I know what we could do right now," she said in a husky voice, her eyes smoldering and her scent shifting in its texture noticably. She leaned down and kissed him with that same intense passion that made her the best kisser he had ever had the pleasure to experience, a woman that could probably charm any male or win any argument with a male because she could subdue him with one of those kisses. He made a mental note never to allow her into a position to kiss him while they were fighting, or he was going to lose the fight.
Being blessed with an unnatural sense of when an interruption would be the most disruptive, like all children, Jasana burst through the door with a laugh and a bounce, then sailed into their bed, interrupting the moment. "It's morning!" she declared happily, her little paws shoving on her mother urgently. "Wake up, mama, papa!"
"We were awake," Jesmind said to her daughter with an uncharacteristically threatening growl. "What did I tell you last night, Jasana?"
"Not to come into your room until you opened the door," she replied after a hesitation.
"And what did you do?"
"I came into your room," she said. "But that was last night. This is tomorrow! You didn't say anything about not coming in tomorrow!"
"What does a closed door mean to you, cub!" Jasana snapped at her.
"That you have to open it," she said innocently.
Tarrin burst out laughing, and Jesmind flopped her head on his shoulder in helpless defeat. "Go fetch water for breakfast, young lady, and we'll discuss your need to twist my words when you get back!" Jesmind ordered her in a harsh tone, her claws digging into Tarrin's shoulder and chest. "And don't go out without dressing first!" she called.
"Yes, mama," she said in a subdued tone, sliding off the bed and padding out, pulling her nightshirt down over her bare bottom after it had ridden up over her tail.
"That is definitely your daughter," Jesmind sighed, putting her forehead on his shoulder again.
"It's the mother's curse," Tarrin said with a chuckle.
"What curse?"
"You know the one. 'When you grow up, I hope that you have a child as bad as you are!'"
Jesmind looked at him, then she burst out laughing. "Now then, where were we?" she asked in a purring tone.
"I think we were right about here," he replied, pulling her down to him.
"I love a male with a good memory," she purred before kissing him again.
Kissing was about as much as they could get away with, for Jasana's moving around the house, and the fact that she didn't close the door, precluded any fooling around. Though Tarrin knew that Jesmind wouldn't care about Jasana-sex was a natural thing, and as such there was no need to hide it from their daughter-there did seem to be some kind of human-based need not to directly expose her to such things. Tarrin mulled it over as they dressed, realizing that Jasana would ask questions that Jesmind may not feel she was ready to understand, even if she knew the answer. Jasana, he had found out, was an intensely curious child, and she could be very, very persistent when she wanted to know something. To save herself grief, Jesmind was almost acting like a human about it.
While Jesmind and Jasana went about making breakfast, Tarrin wandered around the house for the first time, seeing how they had changed it. Jesmind had appropriated his parents' room, and Jasana now occupied Jenna's old room. All of Jenna's furniture was there, and he saw with some dismay that Jasana had taken liberties with Jenna's toys and her personal possessions. Curious… though she was a child, and she had tremendous strength for such a small being, more than enough to do considerable damage, all of Jenna's dolls were still in immaculate condition. Jasana was very careful with Jenna's toys, very careful not to break them. That was significant to him, for that was not a trait one often saw in children so young.
The common room that held the kitchen and the chairs had been changed, but the parlor, the living room that his parents hadn't used that much, had been untouched. It still held the fancy upholstered furniture-at least for a frontier homestead on the edge of civilization-and the old painting of some landscape hanging on the wall, just over the bow Eron hung on the wall, the bow he had used while in the army. The storage room that had been behind the parlor was full of different things now, as Tarrin realized that it was the room where his mother had stored everything she deemed valuable, like her precious china. Those were the things she probably asked Garyth to take out of the house and store somewhere safe, for they were the things she couldn't bear to leave unattended.
Climbing up the steep, narrow staircase in the back of the house, Tarrin went up into his old room, and he was surprised.
It had been absolutely untouched.
Everything was exactly where he had left it, showing his haste to prepare to get ready to leave some two years ago, though it was all rather dusty. The clothes were still flung on the floor, the chest at the foot of his bed still open, the bed still rumpled where he had stood on it to get the box out from its hiding place in the rafters. That ceiling was much closer now, so close that he had to duck under the very beams that had taken a boost for him to reach before. The gray slate roof was visible beyond those support beams, slate tiles that had carried the sound of pouring rain through the house when it rained, gray slate tiles whose shapes and lines were very familiar to him, even now.
Tarrin sat down on the bed, a bed too small for him now, looking around. His sword and axe still rested in the corner, rusted over, and the little knife he carried around with him still hung from its sheathe on his bedpost. The nightstand held an unlit candle and a book, with a dust-filled glass sitting beside them. The washstand still held the pitcher and basin, the water long evaporated. Sitting there reminded him of his life back then, so very long ago, conjured up memories of the little things he had forgotten after so long. He stood and went to the window, having to kneel to be able to look out, looking out towards the Frontier, with the little brook that ran mere spans from the side of the house, that split the meadow into its two disparately sized parts. He folded his arms on the sill and rested his chin on them, sharing a view that had been revealed to him many times before, wondering over the fact that it all looked the same, that it hadn't changed at all.
It was almost a melancholy feeling, looking over the artifacts of his former life, seeing them dusty and rusted and deteriorated with the passage of time. It made him feel old. It made him feel like it had been a thousand years since the last time he had set foot in his old room, when it had only been a few rides short of two years. Had so much happened in that short time? Of course it had. The life of the young always went by so fast, but Tarrin existed now in a kind of realm of paradox, a young man's mind trapped inside the body of an extremely aged Were-cat. That age crept into his mind now and again, or maybe it was just the fact that everything that had happened had had such an impact on him.
He saw Jasana dash into view, a bucket in her paw, and it made him smile. She was such an energetic child, skipping to do her chore, her tail waggling along behind her happily. She seemed so happy, all the time, and she was so affectionate. It was impossible not to fall in love with her. He felt a burst of almost overwhelming pride when he saw her, knowing that she would be the most powerful Sorcerer alive in just a few short years, knowing that his daughter would exceed him. It posed a problem right at the moment, but he'd figure out something. He always did.
"Remembering?" Jesmind asked as she came up the stairs.
"I guess," he admitted, not looking back at her, continuing to watch their daughter delaying in her chore to try to scoop up little fish with the bucket. They confounded her, but even from that distance, he could see the look of serious determination on her little face. "I little of both, actually."
"Both of what?"
"Remembering the past and looking towards the future," he replied as she came up behind, leaned over him and looked out the window.
Jesmind chuckled. "It'll take her about ten minutes to stop playing and bring in the water. Usually I have to take the minnows out of it. She does this all the time."
"Children are supposed to play," Tarrin said gently, watching her.
"I know. But I get a little tired of throwing the minnows back into the stream."
"Why not eat them?"
"Because if I did, there wouldn't be as many minnows for Jasana to chase," she replied with a chuckle, putting her paws on his shoulders.
"Sophistry," Tarrin laughed.
"About what?"
"Complaining that she catches minnows in the water, then putting them back in the stream so she has more targets."
"Well, all mothers endure some things they don't like for their children," she admitted with a wry chuckle. "What do you want for breakfast?"
"Surprise me," he replied.
"I will. You can do me a favor."
"What?"
"I have to hunt today, and it's alot easier when I don't have a loud little pest scaring away the deer. Take Jasana with you when you go into the village."
"She can't quite learn to be quiet, eh?"
"Not even." Jesmind laughed. "She keeps wondering why we come home without a kill. She just won't comprehend that she's scaring them away."
Tarrin chuckled. "Just tell her she won't eat if she's not quiet."
"I do. It doesn't help."
"She'll calm down when she's not quite so young."
"I know."
"I'll take her off your hands for a while," he told her. "I won't mind."
"I know you won't," she assured him. "Just keep an eye on her when you take her to the village. She doesn't go there often, and you've seen how energetic she can be."
"I'll keep an eye on her," he promised.
She bent down and gave him a quick kiss on the side of his neck, then patted his shoulders and left him to watch their daughter playing.
After a meal of ham and porridge, Tarrin was off for Aldreth. Jasana skipped along happily, but when it became apparent that her towering father could outpace her at a walk even if she ran, she ended up riding on his shoulders. Tarrin held onto her feet as she played with his hair and braid, talking up a storm as they walked along the overgrown cart track that Tarrin could travel in his sleep, he knew it so well. Her chatter was inane and without direction for most of the trip, at least until she went quiet for a long moment and started again.
"What was it like to be a human, papa?" she asked curiously.
Tarrin was quite startled by that question, and it forced him to really think hard about the answer. In the end, even after a long moment of intense introspection, he honestly couldn't come up with one that would answer her satisfactorily. "I'm afraid that's a question I can't answer, kitten," he said directly.
"But you were a human once."
"Yes, I was a human once. But that was a long time ago, and what I am now made me forget all about it. I really can't remember what it was like to be human."
"Mama says that they're funny people, the humans. With strange ideas and things, but she also says that I should always respect them."
"That's good advice," he agreed. "They're our neighbors, and they can also be our friends. You'll find the humans here in Aldreth to be rather nice and friendly, at least after they get used to you."
"I like the funny old man," Jasana giggled. "He always brings me presents."
"Garyth," he named with a chuckle. "Garyth is a very good man. If he brings you presents, then he must like you."
She was quiet a moment longer. "Do you think I could be a human some day?"
"I'm afraid not, kitten," Tarrin said with a slight smile. "You'll be able to change the way you look so you can look like a human when you're older, so you'll at least be able to pretend that you're a human."
"We can do that? Mama said that when I'm older, I can change into a cat."
"You can," he affirmed. "It's what makes us what we are."
"Mama never said anything about turning into a human."
"That's because it's something that you won't be able to do for a very long time," he told her. "It's something that you'll only be able to do when you're much older. Even your mother has trouble doing it, so don't think that it's only a problem you'll have."
"Can you do it?"
"Yes, I can do it. But I have trouble doing it too."
"Do you remember what it was like to be a real human when you're pretending to be one?"
Jasana's insight surprised him, and it reminded him that his daughter did not have the mind of a girl her age. She was very intelligent. "Not really," he replied.
"Why are you so much taller than mama?" she asked. "Aunt Mist and Kimmie were shorter than her."
"Now that, kitten, is a very complicated subject," Tarrin chuckled. "The easy answer is that I'm just supposed to be."
"What's the real answer?"
"I don't think you'd understand."
"If you tell me, we'll find out if I can."
Tarrin was surprised again by the subtle logic of that response, and it reminded him that he was dealing with a cunning little girl easily as sneaky as Keritanima. Jasana's intelligence, coupled to her immature, self-centered world, made her formidably sneaky and devious.
"Alright, I will," he laughed. "Remember when you asked me about the winged woman?"
"Umm."
"Well, she has a magical power, and she attacked me with it. When she did, it made me grow, it made me grow old in the blink of an eye, and I'm sure that your mother told you that we keep growing as we age, even after we're adults."
"Umm."
"Alright then, there's your answer. I used to be your mother's height, but after the winged lady attacked me with her magic power, it made me grow to be as tall as your grandmother. If you count my age in years, the humans wouldn't even consider me to be a full adult, but because of the winged woman, now my body is older than anyone but your grandmother."
"I hope you got her back for hurting you, papa," she said with a sudden eagerly sadistic tone in her voice.
Jasana was definitely a Were-cat.
"I got her back for it, ten times over, kitten," Tarrin assured her with a wicked little chuckle.
"Mama said you have to leave tomorrow. I don't want you to go."
"I don't want to go either, kitten," he assured her. "But bad people are loose in our homeland, and it's my duty to make them go away. As soon as I'm done kicking them out and taking care of some other things, I'll come home."
"What other things?"
"Well," he hedged, but he realized that Jasana would dog him ceaselessly until she got an answer. "I'm doing something very important for someone," he answered carefully. "I'm looking for an old magical object, because it's a very, very powerful thing, and we don't want any bad people to find it and use it. That's what I've been doing since before you were born, and hopefully I'm almost finished. After I kick the bad people out of our homeland, I'll go get that magic object and hide it again so nobody can find it. Then I'll come home."
"If you don't know where it is, why do you have to find it just to hide it again?"
"Because it wasn't hidden well enough the first time, kitten," he explained patiently. "People will be able to find it, and we can't let that happen. It has to be hidden so well that nobody can find it."
"Well, I think that's the fault of the people who hid it the first time," she said accusingly. "They should be the ones to find it and hide it again."
Tarrin laughed. "The object was hidden thousands of years ago, kitten. The people that hid it died a very long time ago. It really wasn't their fault, if you think about it. It took this long for people to realize where it was, so you have to admit that they really did a pretty good job."
"Well, I guess, but it's their fault you're going away," she said defiantly, daring him to refute her logic.
"Maybe, but there's nothing we can do about it, kitten. We just have to deal with life as it comes. We can't be blaming everything and everyone that makes our lives something other than what we want them to be. We just have to make the best of it, that's all." He bounced her a bit. "Live a full life every day, so Phandebrass would say."
"Who is that?"
"Phandebrass? He's a wizard, kitten, a rather strange little man with alot of weird ideas. But he's a good friend, and when things are serious, he's a very dependable little man to have around. I like him alot. He makes me laugh sometimes, and that's not easy for humans to do."
"He's a human?" she asked brightly.
"Yup," he answered.
"Can I meet him someday?"
"Someday," he promised. "I'm sure that when I find that magic object and hide it again, he'd be happy to swing by Aldreth and visit with us if I asked him to do it."
"Gramma talked about some of the people waiting for you in Sul."
"Suld," he corrected. "There are several of them."
"Who?"
"Well, there's Allia and Keritanima," he began. "They're my blood-sisters."
"What does that mean?"
"It means that I consider them to be my sisters, even though they weren't born my sisters," he answered. "I love them just as much as I do my real sister, your aunt Jenna. She's in Suld too, along with my parents, your grandparents, Eron and Elke. I'm sure they'd love to meet you, kitten," he told her.
"I want to meet them too. Mama says very good things about Gramma Elke and Grampa Eron."
"Let's see. There's Dolanna, a Sorceress who's been a very good friend of mine for a very long time. She's very wise and very nice, and I love her very much. There's Dar, a young apprentice Sorcerer who's been a very good friend to me. There's Phandebrass, like I told you, and there's a priestess woman named Camara Tal. She's alot like your mother," Tarrin chuckled. "There's Azakar, a human even bigger than I am who's a Knight, and there's Miranda, one of your aunt Keritanima's friends and helpers. And there's Sarraya, a Faerie that travelled with me over the desert, who's a real good friend."
"You know alot of people, papa."
"I know," he agreed with a little bob of his head. "I've met alot of interesting people while trying to find that magic object."
"It's not fair," Jasana complained. "I don't want you to go."
"I won't be gone long, kitten, you'll see," he said gently.
"I still don't want you to go."
"I'm afraid that that's life, kitten," he sighed. "Just make the best of it you can."
"What if I find the magic thing. Could you stay home then?"
"Kitten, if you went to find it, then you'd be the one leaving," he pointed out.
"Well, why can't all those people in Sul-Suld find it? They don't need you!"
"They do need me, kitten," he said gently, though he realized that this was going to degenerate very quickly no matter what he said. "I have something that we absolutely have to have to find the magic object, and I have to get to Suld with it."
She was quiet a moment, and that made Tarrin brace himself. "Well, if you don't bring it back, that means that nobody can find the magic object," she reasoned. "That means that if you don't leave, then nobody will find it, and you'll have no reason to go."
"I wish it were that easy, kitten," he sighed. "But it's still no guarantee that it won't be found."
"But you said that nobody could find it without you!"
"I'm sorry I said it that way, kitten," he apologized. "Because someone can find the magic object without what I'm carrying. It just would be very hard for them to do it."
"If it would be so hard without you, why can't you just not go? They won't find it."
"I can't take that chance, kitten," he said grimly. "The magic object, it's something that could ruin the entire world if bad people find it before I do. I don't want to let you grow up in a wasteland, kitten. I'm doing this to protect you and our home as much as I am-no, the only reason I'm doing it is to protect you and our home," he said firmly. "The humans, I don't much care for them or their world. I do care about you and our world, and I'll do whatever it takes to protect them, and you. If it means that I have to go away for a while, then that's what I have to do."
Jasana seemed subdued by the vehemence of Tarrin's statement, and was quiet for a long moment. "I don't want you to go," she said in a small voice.
Tarrin stopped, then reached over his head and grabbed his daughter in a gentle grip. He pulled her off his shoulders, knelt down, and set her down in front of him. She had a sullen expression on her adorable little face, playing with the tail of her shirt absently, not quite willing to look her father in the eye. "Look at me," he ordered, and she reluctantly lifted her gaze to look into his eyes. "I'll have to go no matter what you say, kitten," he said firmly. "That's something that you can't change, no matter how much you wheedle, whine, beg, cry, complain, or demand. It's just the way things are. This is going to be our last day together until I come back, so please, Jasana, please don't waste it by arguing with me over this. Make sure I leave tomorrow with happy thoughts, alright?"
Her eyes sheened over with tears, and she sniffled. "But I don't want you to go, papa!" she cried. "It's not fair! Mama said when you came home, we could all be together!"
"We will, kitten, but it's going to take a little more time," he said gently, putting his paws on her shoulders.
"I don't care about later. I only care about now," she sniffled.
She was definitely a Were-cat. Tarrin smiled gently as she wiped her nose with the back of her furry white paw, then reached down and tapped her on the nose with a finger. "If you don't care about later, then why are we arguing about this?" he said lightly. "After all, here I am, right here with you, and it's right now. You'll just have to be happy with that now, won't you?"
"But-"
Tarrin put a finger on her lips to quell whatever argument she was about to pose. "No buts, kitten," he smiled. "Remember, we have all day. Don't fight with me over this. Sometimes it's best to accept reality and make the best of it. We have this one day, kitten, so let's make the best of it."
She sniffled again. "Alright," she said in a defeated tone, but there was a hint of something in her eyes that told him that she wasn't anywhere near done with this. Jasana was a dangerously devious little girl, and he could see plan sparkling in those eyes. And it made him very, very nervous for some reason.
He carried her the rest of the way to the village in relative silence. When they arrived, he paused at the treeline to see the whole village bustling with activity. Men milled about urgently, carrying supplies and leading horses, and gathering in small groups to talk. Aldreth was a village of about thirty homes with about thirty outlying farms-or what was considering outlying, which made it a place populated by about four hundred people. About a hundred of them were adult men, and almost all of them were there on the green, around the houses, moving in and out of the Road's End. In the middle of it all was Garyth Longshank, a rolled parchment in his hand and directing men and women with sharp commands, with Jak Longbranch standing silently beside him. From the looks of things, they were both preparing to leave and fortifying the larger houses in the village against possible attack.
"What's going on, papa?" Jasana asked curiously from his shoulders. "The humans are all running around."
"I'm not entirely sure, cub," he said with mild irritation. They should be getting ready to go, not dancing around on the green! He padded down the road that split one of Therin Trent's fields on the west side of the village, then between the thatcher's cottage and the herbalist's shop, which was now empty and partially burned, and onto the green. Men and women stopped what they were doing and stared at him as he marched into their presence, standing head and shoulders above the tallest of them, looking at faces regarding him with awe that would have shooed him away not two years ago. They too seemed to have forgotten about Tarrin Kael the village boy, the strange boy that spent almost all his time wandering around the forest, who was the target of both cruel gossip from the mothers and adoring sighs from the village's young girls. Now they looked on Tarrin Kael the Were-cat, a towering, imposing figure with a scowling expression that made them shrink back from him. "Garyth!" Tarrin called as he approached the mayor. "What's going on around here?"
"Ah, Tarrin," he said with a smile. "Well, we're getting ready to leave."
"This isn't getting ready to leave," Tarrin said bluntly. "This is wandering around."
"Well, we've hit a bit of a snag," Garyth said delicately.
"What snag?"
"Not all the men are willing to leave the village undefended. And I can't say that I blame them," Garyth said quickly, putting up a hand in supplication. "No matter how sure you, or even they, may think it's safe, even I don't like the idea of every man marching out of here and leaving our wives and children exposed. The men all got together and talked about it, and we decided that half would go, and the rest would stay behind to defend the village in case it's attacked. So we're calling in everyone from the farms and we're going to barricade the village."
Tarrin looked for a reason to be angry with them, but he couldn't. Because they were right. Even if they occupied the road, that wouldn't stop a small division of Dals from coming in from the forest. He blew out his breath and nodded. "I'm not going to argue about that, Garyth. You and the men are right. It wouldn't be right to leave the women and children alone. I still say it's for no reason, but I'm not going to press the issue."
"Not everyone is happy about it," he said. "Most of the families are worried about their houses if we get attacked, and it's going to be a tight fit when all the families are piled into the village houses."
"There are plenty of tents around here, Garyth."
"Tents don't make for very strong walls when you're fending off enemy soldiers," Garyth told him with calm reasoning.
Tarrin considered it, and pondered a method to satisfy all the worries of the villagers with the most efficient way. He considered Wards, conjuring up walls of stone to surround the village, even splitting the earth to form formidable barriers, allowing the archers to pick off those who tried. The problem with a Ward was that it wasn't visible, and it probably wouldn't afford anyone with any real assuredness that it was there and would protect them. The problem with walls or ditches was that it was going to significantly rearrange the village's geography, and people would complain or object. But they couldn't have it both ways.
"Which would you prefer, Garyth," Tarrin said calmly. "A Ward, a wall, or a moat?"
"What?"
"Which do you want? I can only make one."
"What are you talking about, lad?"
"If they're that worried about the village being attacked, I can fix that for them," he said patiently. "I can set up a magical Ward that will keep strangers from entereing the village. I can create a wall around the village, or dig out deep trenches to slow them down and let the archers pick them off."
"Around the entire village?" Garyth said in surprise.
"It's not that much area, Garyth," Tarrin said dismissively. "I've done more, but that was tearing down, not building up." He looked around. "The Ward would be the easiest, but you can't see it, so I'm not sure if the villagers would feel comfortable with it. The wall would be the least damaging to the land, but it also creates its own problems when it comes time to take it down."
"I think that Ward idea would be the best," Garyth said. "We're all a little familiar with Sorcery here, lad. We know what it is and that it can be very strong. I'd rather not break up our village into chunks just to protect it."
"Fine. I'll create a Ward that stops anything but humans or Were-cats from moving across its border, and I'll also set it so that nothing made of steel or iron can cross from outside to inside. That'll prevent anyone with a weapon from entering the village, but it'll let archers shoot arrows at people outside the Ward."
"How will that stop the Dals?" Jak asked curiously.
"They wear chain hauburks, Jak," Tarrin said calmly. "They'll be stopped by their armor. They won't be able to come in unless they take off their armor, and no soldier alive is going to take off his armor in the face of arrow fire."
"That's clever, lad," Garyth said appreciatively.
"I've done this before, Garyth," he said calmly. "I know how to set Wards. Just give the men time to bring all the weapons they want to bring into the village, and I'll erect the Ward."
"I know Sorcery doesn't last long, lad."
"It'll last as long as you want it to last, Garyth," he said mildly. "I can guarantee that."
"I'll go spread the word," Jak said, excusing himself.
"He's taken all this very hard," Garyth sighed. "It's an event when he leaves my side."
"He'll get a chance to get even," Tarrin told the mayor. "Sometimes that's the best therapy."
"I see you're getting a ride, Jasana," Garyth said to the little girl with a smile.
"Everyone looks short from up here," she replied. "Papa always gets to see over everyone's head."
"Yes, well, some of us are blessed and some aren't," Garyth chuckled. "I'm surprised your mother let you come here without her."
"Papa's with me," she said calmly. "Mama knows papa won't let me get in trouble. Mama would kill him."
"She probably would," Tarrin agreed with a straight face.
Garyth laughed. "You two must have quite a home life."
"It's not boring, that's for sure," Tarrin said dryly.
"It's going to take Jak some time to spread the word, and even longer for everyone to finish before you can do your magic, lad. Want to go share a tankard and talk about what we're going to do?"
"May as well," he agreed, pulling Jasana off his shoulders. "I think you can walk now, cub."
"Aww," Jasana protested, grabbing the end of his tail and holding on.
"I think we could get you something to eat too."
"We just had breakfast, Garyth, thanks anyway."
They filed over to the Road's End, then found a seat near the back corner of the room. The common room was bustling with activity, as villagers met and exhanged goods or ideas, stopped for a brief drink or a slice of honey bread, or brought supplies into the inn. Tarrin accepted two tankards of water from Wylan Ren, who smiled and was about to say something before someone called him away. Tarrin sniffed at both, then handed one to Jasana, who was too busy looking around from her seat beside him. "Water?" he asked curiously.
"Wylan's out of ale and wine," Garyth chuckled. "The Dals drank it all. What, you're disappointed?"
"Surprised is more like it," he answered. "It's not like Master Ren to drop down tankards of water in front of people."
"That's the truth," Garyth laughed. "He'd put a tankard of firewine in front of a swaddling babe if he thought the could get away with it."
"It's a case of loving what he sells," Tarrin mused. "Get back in your chair, young lady!" Tarrin warned sharply without looking. Sighing, Jasana climbed back up into her chair, then took a drink from the tankard. "I just can't take it anymore. Lad, would you mind?" he asked, holding out his hand. Tarrin looked at him curiously, then extended his paw without quite knowing what Garyth wanted. The cobbler grabbed him by the wrist and set his paw down on the table palm up, looking down at it. "I've seen your wife's hands, but I've never been brave enough to ask to do this," he admitted.
"She's not my wife, Garyth. She's my mate. There's a very big difference."
"You'll have to explain it to me someday," he replied absently, studying Tarrin's paw. "It really does look like a cat's paw. A cat's paw with fingers."
"I would hope so," Tarrin said mildly, extending the deadly claws on his paw for Garyth's benefit.
"Amazing that something so large can handle things with such precision," Garyth chuckled.
"Not entirely. I have serious trouble with buttons and human-sized silverware," Tarrin admitted. "But I've learned tricks to dealing with those problems." He glanced at Jasana, who was staring intently as Millie Korlan, a teen girl that had filled out significantly since the last time that Tarrin saw her. She wore her dark hair in a pair of braids now, and she was wearing a dress that certainly tried to show off her recently grown attributes.
"Why does she wear a dress with the top missing, papa?" she asked him innocently.
"Because she likes to, cub," he replied shortly.
"Young girls like showing off a bit, young one," Garyth told her delicately.
"If she likes showing off her-"
"Jasana!" Tarrin warned sharply.
"Well, if she likes showing them off, why not just go without a top? That's showing them off better than hiding most of what she wants everyone to see."
Garyth burst out into laughter, and Tarrin shook his head. Jasana said it more than loudly enough for everyone to hear her. Millie Korlan turned and glared venemously at the little girl, her cheeks flaming and her arms crossing over her breasts almost as if she'd been stripped bare before the common room. "Humans are picky about things like that, cub," Tarrin told her calmly. "Especially females. There are some things they just don't show in public."
"I think it's silly."
"It may be, but that's the way we are, child," Garyth told her with a grin, then he turned and winked in Millie's direction.
"But she's already showing them."
"She's showing the parts of them acceptable to be seen in public," Tarrin explained patiently. "If she showed-"
"Tarrin, lad," Garyth cut him off with a laugh.
"Well, let's just say that there's one part there that she can't show in public. Everything else is acceptable. Maybe a little scandalous, but acceptable."
Millie turned and fled from the common room, accompanied by more than a few chuckles.
"Which part?" Jasana pressed.
Garyth laughed. "Millie left. Why not tell her?" he said with a wide smile.
Without batting an eye, Tarrin did in fact inform his daughter about just what part the human female wouldn't reveal in public.
"That's not such a big deal," Jasana scoffed. "It's not like she's-"
"That'll do, cub," Tarrin said flintily.
"Yes, papa," she said obediently.
"Children are children, no matter what race they are," Garyth chuckled.
After Jasana calmed down, getting interested in the deck of cards Wylan Ren brought out to distract her, Tarrin let Garyth bring him up to date on all the news of the village. A more detailed account of what happened when the Dals invaded, as well as the recent goings-on with the Rangers and the struggle to choke off the Dal supply lines. Tarrin sat and listened for quite a while as Garyth filled him in on everything he could remember, at least until Jak returned. "Everyone's in, Garyth," he said in his dead voice. "They've brought in everything, so we're ready."
"Thanks, Jak," Garyth said with a nod. "Alright then, lad, it's time for you to do your part."
They went outside. Alot of the dispossessed familes form the outer farms were piled up in the green, carts and horses loaded with everything that they didn't want to leave behind. It made Aldreth look like a refugee camp. That saddened him a bit, to see his home turned upside-down as it had, but there wasn't much choice about it. He looked around and made sure that everyone was within the boundary of the buildings, and seeing them safely inside, he nodded and stepped into the center of the green.
Closing his eyes, he prepared, thinking over exactly what he wanted to do. He worked out the size of the Ward he wanted, and went over how he'd have to weave it together. He didn't want it to be permanent, but its size would demand that he use High Sorcery. Normal Sorcery or Weavespinner Sorcery wouldn't be able to form a Ward of that size.
He was ready. Opening his eyes, he reached out and exerted his will against the Weave, pulling in the power that had once flown into him unforced. His paws erupted with the ghostly radiance of High Sorcery, which made many of the villagers gasp and turn quiet to watch the mystical power of Sorcery exercised among them.
But nobody, not even Tarrin, noticed the look of intense, deliberate concentration on Jasana's little face as she watched her father perform his magic.
The power needed drawn in, Tarrin turned his attention to the weaving. Massive flows of Air and Divine power, the main flows of a Ward, radiated out from him staight up, then cascaded down in a truly huge circular pattern around the village, reaching the ground about a hundred spans past the outside edge of the village, well in bow range but not close enough for men to throw torches. The flows expanded and filled in, going from ropes to sheets, then the merged to combine into the singular magical construction that was the Ward. Tarrin continued to feed energy into it, saturating the formation of its matrix, charging it so it could maintain itself for a considerable amount of time. He filled it until the Ward's integrity couldn't withstand any more extra energy, and reasoned that a Ward of that size with that much charging would last for nearly ten days. More than enough time for the villagers to march down, take Torrian, then march back before it failed.
The air beyond the village shimmered visibly for a short moment, and then it vanished from sight.
Closing his paws, the light fading from around them, Tarrin released the residual energy inside him back into the Weave and let go. "That's it," he said calmly. "Nobody other than humans or Were-cats can cross the Ward, and no steel or iron can cross the boundary from outside the Ward. I set it so it will last about ten days. I think that's more than enough time."
"It should be, lad," Garyth agreed.
"Good. What time will the men be ready-"
Tarrin was brought up short as a sudden shift of the Weave warned him that something was going on. He looked around as that feeling became more pronounced, and then his eyes locked on Jasana just in time to see her close her eyes and assume an expression that was both serene and intensely focused. He could feel her reaching out with her power, reaching for the Weave, and what was worse, the Weave was reacting to her!
"Jasana, no!" he said with sudden fright. She wasn't trying to touch the Weave, she was trying to touch High Sorcery! He took three quick steps towards her, nearly reaching her, but he recovered from his frighetened reaction and went about stopping her in the only way he would be able to do so.
There was no time. The Weave was reacting to her, and if he didn't move quickly- now -she was going to succeed in what she was trying to do. Flooding himself with the power, causing his paws to explode into Magelight, he diverted that energy away from his daughter by draining it into himself. She opened her eyes with an almost exultant look on her face, Jasana reached out towards him with those tiny paws-
– -and he felt her power reach out to him, exactly as it had done the day before. But he was joined with the Weave this time, joined in power, and he was too busy managing that power to attempt to deflect his daughter a second time. Before he could conceive of a way to use the power he held to stop her, she managed to form that bond between them, managed to lock herself to him in a manner that he had only experienced a rare few times before.
Jasana had formed a Circle with him.
The shift in the Weave was dramatic and unmistakable. Their two separate powers combined into a whole that was stronger than the sum of its parts, and a tenuous link materialized inside him, a tiny piece of his daughter's mind that had joined to his own. That link of minds was something that the Cat violently rejected every time he had tried to Circle before, but this time, it saw in the link something that did not seem alien to it. The Cat welcomed this link where it had rejected all others, because the one at the other side of the link was another Were-cat.
Jasana's child mind had formed the Circle with Tarrin leading it, acceding to the authority of her father, and he could feel her through that mental bond. She had no fear of what was happening, what she had done, more satisfied that she had done something she thought she could do rather than fearing this strange new sensation.
What else he could feel was their power. Incredible! Even untrained, Jasana's power was monstrous, and that power had joined with his to become something greater than what they were alone. Tarrin found himself in command of that might, the might to rearrange the world, the might to nearly feel like they could challenge the gods themselves. It was almost intoxicating!
Too intoxicating. No mortal was meant to experience that, meant to command such incredible magical power. He realized that quickly, that the power was a trap unto itself, tempting him to use it. And in that use, he would become its slave. The combined might of their united powers was his to command, and he realized quickly that that meant that it was also his to disburse.
Instinctively knowing what to do, Tarrin severed the link with his daughter, causing their united whole to split back into its component parts. The draining feeling of that was formidable, making him drop to his knees, but it had little effect on his daughter, making her merely sag her shoulders. It was because she was the stronger of them, he knew it. That's why it didn't affect her as hard as it did him.
"Are you alright, papa?" Jasana asked in concern.
"Cub, never do that again!" he managed to shout. "You nearly killed yourself!"
"Killed?" she asked with suddenly wide eyes.
"Yes, killed!" he shouted angrily. "What you almost touched, cub, it's not for those who don't know what they're doing! If you'd have managed to do what you were trying to do, it would have killed you!"
"I'm sorry," she said with sudden fright. "I didn't know. I didn't mean to make you angry, papa, honest!"
Tarrin blew out his breath as Garyth's hands rested on his shoulder, under his arm, helping him to his feet. Amazing! Jasana had Circled with him, without knowing what she was doing!
And what was much, much worse, she had managed to consciously touch the Weave. Done once, it could then be done again and again. Tarrin's worst nightmare had become a reality, because now his daughter could, at any time, incinerate herself with High Sorcery.
"Tarrin, lad, what happened?" Garyth said in fright. "You and Jasana were glowing! Are you alright? What happened?"
"I'm fine, Garyth, just a little drained," he said shortly, regaining his feet and glaring down at his daughter. He was at a loss now. Jasana had consciously used her power, and now she could do it again. No matter how much he warned her or scared her, her childish curiosity would eventually make her do it again. And if he wasn't there to stop her-
He shivered. What was he going to do now?
Jasana hugged his leg tightly. It was apparent she was either terrified or trying to divert his anger. Either way, he felt that standing in the middle of a pack of gawking humans was not helping. He reached down and scooped her up into his arm, then looked down at Garyth. "Come for dinner, Garyth. We'll talk about when we're leaving then. Right now, I have to get Jasana home."
"I understand, lad," Garyth nodded. "I'll be there."
Without another word, Tarrin carried his daughter out of Aldreth, moving swiftly towards home, his mind racing. Jasana was active now! He couldn't leave her alone, but he had no choice, he had to leave! He was stuck between duty to the Goddess and duty to his mate and daughter. He wasn't about to sacrifice Jasana to find the Firestaff. The entire world could go to hell first! He could not leave her alone now. There was absolutely no choice in the matter.
I wouldn't ask that of you, kitten, the Goddess called in his mind. I feel your confusion and your indecision, my kitten, so allow me to solve it for you.
"How?" he asked aloud.
Take her with you, she told him. That is not a suggestion, Tarrin. That's an order. She goes with you.
"Are you crazy?" he demanded hotly.
"What, papa?" Jasana asked fearfully.
"Nevermind, cub," he muttered under his breath, shifting his mode of communication. Are you crazy, Mother? I'm going to war! I'm not about to take my daughter into a battle!
You don't have to take her into a battle, but she does need to go with you, kitten, she said firmly. If you don't stay near her, she's going to end up killing herself. We both know that.
He couldn't argue that point.
So the only option is to bring her with you, she continued. Jesmind can watch her when you have to leave to take care of your fighting. Besides, I want you to consider one thing.
"What?"
What you could do if you and Jasana were linked, she said in a nearly seducing tone. Together, your combined power is formidable. When it comes time to defend Suld, don't you think that that power would be best served protecting my icon?
Tarrin stopped dead in his tracks. He remembered too well what it had felt like to hold that kind of power, but to use it… It made him shudder. The damage he could cause commanding magic of that power would be mind-numbing. The bodies of the innocent dead would pile up by the thousands around them. With that kind of power, he could shatter the walls of Suld, tear the earth a new Scar…
He could kill a sizable chunk of a massive enemy army.
Yes, that's right, kitten, she said reasonably. It's not a sin to use the power I gave you, because I trust you to use it responsibly. And if you do use it, you'll be saving many more lives than you may take defending Suld, saving the lives of those men who would have had to fight and die to defend my icon, and the lives of the innocents that would be caught in the middle, should the invaders breach the walls and get into the city.
He slumped his shoulders. The thought of using that power both thrilled and sickened him, and he knew that he would have to kill, kill on a scale upon which he had never killed before. The old eyeless face suddenly ghosted up from where it had been hiding all these months, and it made him fear that it would have many, many more for company very soon. He would personally be responsible for the deaths of thousands, but he saw no other way. Better to be responsible for the deaths of ten thousand enemies than a single innocent, if they managed to break into Suld and attack the civilians in the city.
But in the end, no matter what he thought about it, he had no choice. The Goddess had ordered him to do it, and he could not-would not-disobey.
That's my kitten, the Goddess said with pride. But now you face a danger ten thousand times greater than an army of Demons.
"What?"
Telling Jesmind that she has to pack her things and be ready to leave in the morning, the Goddess said with a twinkling little laugh. She goes too. And that's also an order.
Tarrin groaned. Given facing an army of enraged Demons or facing an angry Jesmind, he'd choose the Demons.
I'm glad I don't have to do it.
"Shut up," Tarrin snapped heatedly, which only made the Goddess retreat from him with her silvery laughter echoing in his mind.
"Who were you talking to, papa?" Jasana asked curiously. "I thought I almost heard someone talking to you."
She may very well have, at that, Tarrin realized. "Someone you'll meet when you're a little older, cub," he replied wearily. This day had turned into a nightmare. He was so overwhelmed by it all, he didn't even want to think about it.
Both of them were overly quiet all the way home, and Tarrin found his anxiety growing by the moment when he realized that Jesmind hadn't come home from hunting. Tarrin paced in the common room back and forth, back and forth, as Jasana sat in the chair by the fireplace and watched him anxiously. Back and forth, back and forth, Tarrin considered, tested, then rejected any number of ways to break the news to his excitable mate, from coming right out with it to a day-long leading up to it. He even once considered not telling her at all, just whacking her over the head tomorrow morning and bundling her up, then carrying her along, but that would be the worst way to go about it. He couldn't think of any good way to tell her, so that meant that the direct approach would be best. It would be the shortest, and Jesmind wouldn't get angry with him about being evasive or downright deceiving. He'd only have to be worried about her being angry one thing than angry about three things.
"Papa? What did I do wrong?" Jasana asked in a small voice, fidgeting nervously.
Tarrin looked at her, saw the look of fear on her face. She obviously didn't ever want her mother to come home.
"You didn't do anything wrong, kitten, but what you did do has really messed up everything I had planned," he told her. "What you were trying to do, it would have killed you. And now that you've done it once, you'll be able to do it again. That means that I can't leave you alone now, because whether you do it on purpose or by accident, you will do it again. And when that happens, I have to be there to stop you."
"I'm sorry, papa."
"There's no reason to be sorry, Jasana," he sighed, turning to pace back towards the door. When he did that, he missed Jasana's victorious little smile, a smile that evaporated the instant he reached the door and turned around. "It was going to happen eventually anyway. What you have, you're bursting at the seams with it. You've already used it without knowing what you were doing, but now you know what to do, and that makes you very, very unsafe."
"What is it? You keep calling it it, papa. What is this thing I can do?"
"Sorcery," he said bluntly, looking at her. "A kind of Sorcery only a couple other people in the whole world can do by themselves. I really would have much rather taught you the simple ways to use Sorcery first and led you into what you did, but unfortunately you started at the top."
"Magic? I can do magic?"
"Yes, kitten, you can do magic. And it means that now, your life is going to change."
"How, papa?"
"I hate to tell you this, cub, but your childhood is over now," he said grimly, turning around again. "Using magic is a very, very serious thing, and it takes discipline and self control. Before I teach you a single magic trick, you're going to learn when it's good to use Sorcery, and when it is not good. You'll learn how to use your magic without hurting anyone, unless you intend on hurting someone with the magic you're about to use. And you're going to learn how to not let it go to your head. I know how little girls are. There will be no using it for no reason, no using it unless you can't do what you're trying to do any other way, and no using it to show off. Using it just to show off got your aunt Jenna in a great deal of trouble, so you're going to meet her and find out what happens when you use magic for no good reason."
"Aunt Jenna can do magic too?"
"Yes, she can," Tarrin told her.
"I'll learn those things, papa," she said dutifully. "I promise. I'll learn anything you want me to learn."
"You'd do that anyway," he said archy, sensing deception about her. For a Were-cat, Jasana could be surprisingly untruthful. Dealing with that from a Were-cat was downright shocking, for truth was a moral cornerstone of the entire species. Tarrin suspected that Jasana had alot of human in her, since her father was more human in mentality than Were.
The door opened, and Tarrin's heart skipped a beat. Jesmind's scent washed over him as he turned around, and he saw her stepping inside the door with a quartet of hares in one paw and a dead deer slung over her other shoulder. There were no clawmarks on it, telling him that Jesmind had run it down and broken its neck, or hit it with a rock. For beings of their strength, a thrown rock carried the same lethal force as an arrow, or even one of the Wikuni's musket balls. Jesmind took one look at Tarrin, then Jasana, and she took on a dark, serious look. "Alright, what happened?"
A thousand different strategies flew through his mind, but he found himself unable to use them. "Jasana had an, accident," Tarrin told her bluntly.
Jesmind's eyes darkened. "What kind?"
"The only kind that matters," Tarrin told her calmly.
Jesmind swore, using language not really suited for a young child. Then again, Jesmind's method of teaching her daughter weren't exactly normal to a human. "What are we going to do about it?" she asked.
"There's nothing that can be done about it, Jesmind," Tarrin told her, taking a cleansing breath. "I can't leave her now."
"So you're staying?" she asked with sudden brightness in her voice.
"No, she's going with me," Tarrin said, then he braced himself.
"What? Absolutely out of the question!" Jesmind shouted vociferously, throwing her kills to the floor. "There is no way you're taking my cub, Tarrin! None! If you want to do it, you'd better be ready to kill me to get her out of this house!"
"Jesmind-"
"I can't believe you'd even suggest such a thing! I don't care who you are or what you are, you're not taking my child!"
"Jesmind-"
"Shut up! Get out of my house, Tarrin! I don't even want to look at you right now, because I may try to kill you!"
In two big steps, Tarrin was on top of her. He grabbed her by the paws so quickly she didn't register what he was doing, then pulled them down and forced her to look at him. "Do you think I want to do this?" he demanded hotly. "Jasana's life is the issue here, woman, not any need of mine to take your daughter away from you! I have to get to Suld, and it's something that my life depends upon! I can't leave Jasana in such danger, but I can't risk my own life, and the sake of this entire kingdom, just because of you!" He jerked her paws down, displaying his superior strength, and looked her right in the eye. "Jesmind, Jasana is coming with me, and so are you," he declared in a strong voice. "I'm not taking Jasana from you, I'm taking you both with me."
"No," Jesmind hissed. "I'm not going anywhere! This is my home, damn you, and I'm not leaving it!"
What started as a logical argument as to why Jesmind should come along degenerated into a heated shouting match between the two mates, as each one tried to drown out the other with their voices. Tarrin couldn't believe Jesmind's pig-headed, stubborn refusal to see the big picture, to not even be understanding enough to listen to his side of their dispute. Both of them were very stubborn, and the dogged refusal each showed to bend even a finger for the other was apparent in the intense manner in which they faced off against one another. Jasana sat in her chair and watched her two parents fight with a worried expression on her face. But her worry became firm resolve when Jesmind raised a balled fist in Tarrin's direction, threatening to elevate their dispute to actual fisticuffs, despite the fact that her once-young mate now overmatched her.
Jasana got up and quickly and quietly inserted herself between her two fighting parents, then put a paw on each of them and inoexorably started pushing them apart. Both of them looked down at Jasana in a kind of outraged incredulity, shocked that anyone would bother or interrupt them in what was an entirely personal disagreement. Were-cats just didn't interfere in those kinds of things.
"Stop it!" Jasana called in a strong voice. "Mama, it's not papa's fault!" she cried out. "I did it."
"What?"
"I did it. I heard papa say that he couldn't leave me if I did what I did, so I did it on purpose to make him stay," she admitted with a guilty expression. "But I didn't think he'd leave anyway and make you two fight over me! Honest I didn't!"
Tarrin was absolutely stunned. The depths of his little girl's conniving knew no bounds. That she would actually use her power with the sole intention of making him stay overwhelmed him with both her cunning and her absolute disregard for anyone other than herself. That she was a very young girl certainly softened that dark view of her, but it didn't change the outright shock that she would go to such extremes to force him to stay.
She looked up at him with teary eyes. "I don't want you to go, papa!" she pleaded. "Stay here, so we can be a family! Please?"
What stared back at her was not the loving expression of her father, but the dark, sinister face of a glowing-eyed Were-cat, a sure visible sign that anger had taken control. Even Jasana knew better than to say or do anything more. Tarrin's burning green eyes showed her how angry he was. She retreated from him step by step, then turned and fled towards Jenna's old room.
Tarrin watched her go, trying to get himself under control. Unbelievable! She used her power just to make him stay! He couldn't believe it! Snarling, Tarrin turned and smashed his fist into the table, destroying it in an explosive shower of wood shards, but it didn't make him feel much better.
Jesmind, however, began to laugh ruefully. She put a paw on Tarrin's shoulder, then turned him to face her. "Now you realize what I've had to put up with," she said with a slight smile.
Tarrin snorted, looking away from her as he forced himself to calm down.
"But she was right. Let's not shout at each other over this. You tell me why you need to take her, and I'll tell you why it's a bad idea."
Tarrin glared at her for a moment, but then took a calming breath. "I told you before, I can't leave her alone because she can use her power again," he told her. "Since I have no choice but to go, that also means I have no choice but to take her along. You have no idea how much I hate that idea, Jesmind," he growled. "I'm going to war, and she's just a little girl. I'm terrified that she may get hurt."
"I can't hate you for that," she told him. "But this is where she belongs. It's not right to take her away from here. It's the only place she's ever known."
"I can't help that now, Jesmind. She made this decision. Now she has to suffer the consequences of her actions. Maybe it'll teach her not to do something like this again."
Jesmind snorted. "Not likely. I can't let you take her, Tarrin. I just can't."
"I'm not taking her from you, Jesmind. I want you to come too."
"Me?" she asked in surprise, then she laughed. "If I go back to Suld, I'll kill half the people in the Tower, Tarrin. I've never forgiven them for what they did to me, and to you."
"I won't stop you, my mate," Tarrin said grimly. "I'll just tell you which ones not to kill."
Jesmind actually laughed. "As much as that appeals to me, I don't want to go, Tarrin. This is my home now, and I don't want to leave."
"I don't want to leave either, Jesmind," he said with sudden candor, looking at her with sincerity. "But I have to go. I don't have any choice. Everything depends on me getting to Suld, and getting there quickly."
"If it's so important to go to Suld, why are you going to stop to attack Torrian?"
"Because they need me to do it," he told her bluntly. "Do you know what's going on, Jesmind? I mean really know what's going on?"
"Only that the Dals are attacking Sulasia."
"That's only a part of it, and it's really nothing more than a means to tie down the Sulasian army," he said, absently Creating another table and banishing the remains of the old one. They sat down at the table, and as soon as they did so, he reached out and put his paws over one of hers. "What's really going on is that the people who've been trying to kill me since before I met you have assembled an army of every kind of nightmare they could find, and they're marching it to destroy Suld."
"I heard you say that before, to Garyth."
"Then why didn't you listen the first time?" he asked in slight exasperation. "I explained everything then!"
"I wasn't paying attention," she admitted.
Tarrin blew out his breath. "Jesmind, if they destroy Suld, they'll destroy the bonds that keep the Goddess on this world. She'll be banished, and that will disrupt the Weave. The end result is that any Sorcerer with even average power is going to die in the disruption. I'll die if I don't stop them from taking Suld, and now that Jasana has used her power and bonded herself to the Weave, she is also in danger."
That made Jesmind's eyes widen.
"That's right. I'm not doing this just for my own sake, Jesmind. That army is a direct threat to my daughter's life, as well as the lives of about half of the people who mean the most to me, and I'm not about to sit around here and hope that my sisters and friends can stop them for me. I have to go."
Jesmind groaned, putting her head in her paws. "You just had to say that, didn't you?" she demanded.
"It's the truth, Jesmind. Now we can fight about this, a fight that you will lose, or you can accept it with a grain of salt and do what you can to help."
"Is she really in that much danger?"
"Jasana, right now, that army is more of a danger to her than anything else in this world. Even her own power isn't as dangerous as that army."
Jesmind looked torn, for a moment, then sighed and lowered her head. "I believe you, my mate," she admitted. "I can't stand the idea of it, but I'm not going to take any risks with Jasana's life. If you think it's best, then-then we'll go with you."
That couldn't have been easy for her. Tarrin knew Jesmind, knew that she was as proud and stubborn as he was. She couldn't stand showing throat to anyone for any reason, even when it was a good reason. She had submitted to him, and no matter how good it was, it wasn't something she could take easily. Tarrin took her paw and held it gently, causing her to look up into his eyes.
"Thank you, Jesmind," he said sincerely. "I know that wasn't easy."
"You're not getting it for free," she said with sudden power in her voice. "I'll agree to this, but only on two conditions."
"What?"
"First, I want a necklace that does what yours does," she said. "And second, I want you to promise to come home when you're done with whatever it is you're doing."
"I was going to do that anyway."
"No, you said you were going to do it. I want to hear you promise that you will."
Tarrin stared down at the firm resolve in her eyes, then he nodded. "Jesmind, I promise that when I've done what I need to do, I'll come home."
Her eyes softened visibly, and she gave him a slight, coy little smile. "I know we'll get on each other's nerves, but I want the chance to have you for mate in the way that's always been denied to us, Tarrin. A mating that's not interrupted by needs to run off to the far corners of the world."
"Just be patient then, Jesmind," he told her.
"Were-cats aren't known for patience, my mate," Jesmind said archly. "Now is all that matters to us."
"There will be plenty of time for now later," he told her. "Right now, I need you to be here and keep Jasana safe."
"She's my daughter. She'll be safe."
"Good. I'm sorry to have to do this to you, Jesmind. It seems that every time we're together, we completely screw up each other's lives."
Jesmind actually laughed. "I guess it was your turn this time."
"Guess so," he smiled in agreement.
"It must be a sign that we weren't meant to be together."
"Only if you believe in that kind of garbage," he said. "I believe in something else."
"What?" she asked curiously.
"That the wisdom and guidance I get from my Goddess will see me through," he said. "She wouldn't have brought me back here, brought me back to you, if there wasn't a good reason for it. So we are meant to be together. At least for now."
Jesmind smiled lightly. "I think I'll give this Goddess of yours a kiss," Jesmind said with sudden cheeky grin.
"She's probably be overjoyed.
"Goddess, you say? How practical."
"What do you mean?"
"That you follow a woman. That's the ordained order of things, you know."
"Don't press your luck," he teased, seeing it for the jibe that it was.
"Feel better now?"
"Much. You?"
"Not exactly happy, but I'll manage," she admitted. "That daughter of ours certainly defused us in a hurry, didn't she?"
Tarrin chuckled. "She seems to have a knack for it, I've noticed. I find it very hard to be angry when she's touching me."
"Me too," Jesmind agreed. "You certainly managed to overcome that, though."
"I had a very good reason," he sighed. "I can't believe that she'd do something like that."
"I would. Jasana is very willful, Tarrin, and she'll stoop to almost any level to get her own way. She's almost impossible to manage."
"You should have warned me."
"I did. You just weren't paying attention."
"I guess that's my fault," he grumbled.
"The fight is over. Shall we kiss and make up now?"Jesmind asked with a wink.
Smiling in spite of himself, Tarrin leaned across the table and did just that.
To: Title EoF