He frowned. “Why would that be a problem?”
She chewed her bottom lip and tried to figure out how to properly word what she wanted to say. “It fits well on the outside, but it doesn’t fit well on the inside.”
“I don’t understand.”
Amanda felt ill. “I don’t want to hurt you, David. Honestly, that’s the last thing I want to do. But…but I can’t marry you.”
There. She’d said it.
His eyes widened. “What?”
She shook her head. “I care about you so much. I think you’re a wonderful man, really. But I’m not in love with you.”
David looked genuinely shocked. “I can’t believe this.”
She swallowed hard, her heart pounding a mile a minute in her chest. “I’m so sorry, David. If I’d known you were going to do this tonight I probably would have said something earlier.”
“So your decision not to be with me has been a work in progress, has it?” There was an unpleasant twist now to the words.
“No. It’s just…it’s…it’s complicated.”
The corners of his mouth turned down. “Is there someone else?”
“What?” Her mouth felt dry. “Of course not.”
“So this doesn’t have anything to do with Jacob?”
She blanched. “He has nothing to do with this decision.”
“Sure he doesn’t.” David’s face soured. It was the first time she’d seen him look at her that way. “He told me about you, you know.”
“What?”
“That you can talk to ghosts. That’s why you work for PARA.”
Her stomach sank. “He said that?”
“I can’t believe you never told me the truth.”
“I…” She swallowed. “I’m sorry. I should have.”
He shook his head. “I find it all rather strange, but I would have accepted this unpleasant aspect of your life. You never even gave me the chance.”
“Strange and unpleasant?”
“Of course. What else could it be?”
“And that’s exactly why I never told you. Because I knew that’s how you’d feel about it.”
He hissed out a breath. “You’re making a mistake, Amanda.”
She pulled off the ring and held it out to him. “You’ll find someone else. Somebody who can fit into your life perfectly and not think twice about it. Someone who’s not strange or unpleasant.”
His lips twisted as he accepted the ring back from her. “Is that a psychic prediction?”
She shook her head. “It’s a promise. Goodbye, David.”
He pocketed the ring, then with a last glare at the woman who’d turned down his offer of the perfect normal life, he left O’Grady’s.
CHAPTER 12
Amanda tried her best to go back to the throng of happy people and pretend everything was okay, but it was impossible. Finding the bar increasingly stifling, she went outside to the well-lit parking lot, sucked in great gasps of fresh air and tried to calm down. A couple of people brushed past her to get to their car and she forced herself to smile at them.
Then, arms crossed over her chest, she walked around to the back of the building. She wanted to be alone for a moment so she could collect her thoughts. An alleyway ran behind the pub and the other downtown businesses—all closed for the day—that it backed on to.
Other than the slight throb of music she could hear coming from inside the pub, the alley was silent. She felt a warm breeze move over her bare legs.
What had she just done? A part of her was mightily pissed that she’d turned down David’s proposal. Being married to a man like him would give her a solid, secure foundation for the rest of her life. It sounded good enough in theory.
But it wasn’t. She didn’t love David. If there was one thing she believed, no matter what, it was that love and marriage went together. Despite what had happened with her mother and father, she held on to that particular fairy tale with a very firm grip.
“Congratulations on your engagement,” a voice pierced through her thoughts.
Her eyes widened and she looked up to see it was Jacob, who stood a dozen feet away from her in the otherwise empty back alley—just far enough to be out of reach of her mind-reading ability. She hadn’t realized he was there until he spoke.
The moon was full that night and it shone down on them with a silver light. The area was empty except for the two of them. She noticed his black Mustang was parked to the right in a small, vacant employee parking area belonging to the local bookshop.
He took a few steps closer to her.
Be a man. His self-directed thoughts were now very hard to ignore. Pretend it doesn’t make a difference to you either way.
It was best that Jacob continued to think she was engaged. It would make everything much easier.
“Thank you,” she finally replied.
His brow lowered. “You’re not inside with your husband-to-be, toasting your wonderfully average futures.”
She looked at him sharply. “Are you making fun of me?”
He paced back and forth in front of her. “Everybody pulls out all the stops to have a regular, normal life. Sounds like the perfect 1950s sitcom to me. Very exciting stuff.”
“You’re upset.”
He stopped moving, then laughed at that and it sounded hollow. “Strangest damn thing, but I’ll admit it. I am upset.”
“Any specific reason, or just upset in general?”