1) To MySpace: for just simply being there, although ye ne’er knew it. I had tried (off and on) for 6 or 7 years to get an agent to read it, unsuccessfully. The entire book sat on my MySpace page for 14 months before it was discovered by KHP.
2) Peter Van Leunen, my lawyer. He liked it and began editing it immediately. You have made Infernus shine just a little bit brighter because of your efforts, sir!
3) To Jerrod Balzer who thought it was a good idea to put an afterword here explaining the circumstances of the writing of this mess known as “Infernus.” And coined the phrase, “The Reality of Infernus.” I hope he lives to be a hundred.
4) To my keeper, Filboid Studge, in my little sunny cell here in St. Louis. I am allowed out for one hour per day to watch the birds glow and listen to the trees scream. Sometimes he lets me out during the day. Sometimes he lets me out. Sometimes he does.
5) To S.D. Hintz & Jerrod Balzer who had the grapefruit-sized gonads to put this mess in print in the first place. I have ensconced you in a tableau, permanently in Infernus. As a reward. Forever. Right where you belong.