“Hmm.” His reflection on what I had just said took me off guard.
“What?”
“It’s just that there’s a lot of irony going around today.”
“What do you mean?” I turned in my seat, facing him, grateful that the end of the school day madness was shut out by the window.
“Well, Ryan and his aunt. There’s a guardian role being played out there.” He paused at my raised eyebrows. I had almost forgotten that he knew everything, even conversations he wasn’t present for. Garreth would always be witness to everything I said or did.
“Then,” he continued, “there’s the matter of your mother. She’s accepting the impossible in order to close a door that will in essence, open another.
While you are taking on every aspect of that closed door and reopening it to find a new future.”
I let it sink in.
There were no more secrets. My mother knew. She knew about Garreth being my guardian; she knew about my mark. Suddenly, I couldn’t have felt more relieved.
Brynn buzzed around her kitchen like a little bee, stopping to check the list of ingredients my mother had given her ahead of time. Muttering to herself, she checked the temperature on the oven, “350 degrees, preheating. Check. Oh!” She opened the wide utensil drawer in the center island and pulled out a stainless steel can opener, then recounted the cans of lemon pie filling.
“You can bring boxes over anytime, you know. My room’s big enough to store them.” Brynn was determined to have us packed and moved in, even though it will still be a couple of weeks yet before my mom contacts a real estate agent for our house.
“I thought we were going to wait until after graduation to start packing.”
“I just like to be on top of things, that’s all,” and she continued fluttering about. Seeing this new side to Brynn made my head spin. Never mind the fact that she and I both had major finals to study for, and were getting the last of our college applications in the mail. On top of all that, we had graduation to look forward to. But if Brynn had it her way, my house would be sold, my mom and I moved in, and our parents happily married within a month’s time.
“You just want to have a say in the wedding plans, don’t you?” I asked a bit absentmindedly as I stared out the window for my mother’s car. I was anxious to speak with my future stepfather.
“Who me?” Brynn acted all innocent.
“Of course you! This is a party on the grandest of scales and you’re dying to be involved.”
“Well, maybe a little.”
At last I could hear the tiny pebbles crunching as my mom’s car pulled around to the back of the house. Simultaneously, Nate came padding down the hall from his study to greet her. I was nearly bouncing out of my seat.
“Hey, sweeties,” she said to Brynn and me; then she and Nate locked in an embrace that had both of us rolling our eyes.
“Well, I see you’re all ready for me, Brynn.”
“Yep, I have everything you told me to get.” She was all smiles, eager for some one-on-one time with the “cure” that would begin to fill the hole in her heart.
“Calculus test went okay?” she aimed at me, not forgetting to include daughter number one.
“Um, yeah. I got an A.”
“Well, ladies,” Nate found the opportune moment to interrupt. “You two better get baking. I’ve been salivating for these lemon bars for about a week now.”
Without any further discussion, my mother and Brynn set to work, and Nate wiggled his index finger for me to follow.
My feet knew the way to the study. I could find it with my eyes closed now if I had to. Once past the massive walnut door, he motioned for me to come sit on the settee. A roaring fire was already in the fireplace, and a warm glow stretched out from under the glass lampshade. There was no abnormal chill in the air, no sudden drop in temperature, no reason to drop to my knees to scan the immaculate hardwood floor for traces of black sand or other ritual components. Nate had made obvious attempts to make me comfortable and I smiled, appreciating his kindness.
I liked Nate, I had to admit. There had been a time when I honestly questioned if he was the reason behind Brynn’s dark secrets and motives. But now, we finally understood each other and I could clearly see why my mother was so enamored with him.
“I don’t need to tell you that going after Brynn that night was a measure beyond bravery. Nor do I need to mention that accepting her into your life now, after what you’ve been through, is an even more commendable act. Your history together has been long and trying, I’ve heard.”
“When you’re a child, everything is traumatic. I guess it takes a while to realize how silly it all is.”
His eyes seemed to recall a suppressed memory for a moment, perhaps the real reason for Brynn’s actions; the reason that would devastate a child enough to be willing to sell her soul.
“Teagan, you and I both know it lies deeper than that. Brynn’s actions, especially of late, have been inexcusable.”
“Well, as much as it would seem the more reasonable thing, I just can’t seem to bring myself to hate her any longer.”
“Ahh, she’s grown on you?” he asked with a smile that seemed slightly forced for my sake.
“I wouldn’t go that far. Yet.”
Without any glossing over, or lengthy preamble, he handed me the thick leather journal. His brown eyes were serious, yet soft, in the firelight.
I looked up at him appreciatively, still afraid to see the secrets he’d kept logged in his coveted book. All I’d learned these past months, about guardians and heaven and even hell, had been discovered by someone other than myself. It was all within these pages. I only had to take it and finally come to terms with the fact that my burden could finally be lifted.
“Go on, take it.”
I reached my hand out, then curled my fingers back. What was wrong with me? What was I waiting for? Then, deep breath inhaled and my fingers extended again, the smooth buttery feel of the leather was now in my hand. The book was softer than expected. After all these years, I expected it to feel cracked and dry, but instead it had become so worn with Nate’s entries, it was just the opposite.
I looked up at him, still reluctant to open it without permission, but his gentle expression urged me on.
“Do you want me to leave you alone with it?”
“No.” I said softly. Somehow I felt that would be the same as sneaking. The book still belonged to him and admittedly, his presence made me feel comfortable. He settled himself in the oversized chair behind his desk, giving me the quiet space needed and then, with a deep breath, I opened the cover. It was there, all of it.
Described in amazing detail, down to the dates, descriptions, everything. I still couldn’t fully digest how Nate had become privy to all this information.
How it all seemed to be here in complete, sequential order. No doubt, he dedicated a lot of time and energy gathering his information. I doubted the title hobby was even appropriate any more.
The date of my birth was the first entry logged, and I sighed to myself as my eyes followed the next date, which was the month and year of my father’s disappearance. My schooling followed thereafter. He had even recorded the date Garreth registered at Carver High School and had recorded copies of our student schedules from this year and last. It was an entire collection of archives and honestly, it was pretty cool.
As I thumbed further, I found my father’s birthdate was listed as well as my grandfather’s, whom I had never met. A shiver of excitement ran through me.
Envelopes were pressed together containing various newspaper clippings of important events: my birth announcement, honor roll, even articles about the fire last spring had been neatly folded into an envelope and tucked into the spine. Another envelope, larger and manila in color, held copies of the medical records for both me and Garreth, a detailed description of our hospital stays, and strangely, Ryan’s, as well.
Beneath the newer looking envelopes were a few that had yellowed with age. My finger gently opened the flap, pulling out a large, folded parchment.
Carefully, I flattened it on my lap and read the names and dates of what I realized was Nate’s own family tree. In utter amazement, I stole a peek toward the desk where he was sitting only to find he was purposely ignoring me, allowing me to discover and digest the journal on my own terms.
Brynn’s essential information, of course, was also listed. A cloud of sadness washed over me as I read the names of her mother and stillborn sister, followed by the dates of their births, as well as their deaths.