“Sometimes doors aren’t closed. They appear to be, but aren’t.”
“Are you saying Brynn could hurt me again?”
“I’m just saying you can’t rid the world of evil completely, Teagan. You can stop it in its tracks for the moment, sometimes longer, but you can never take it away.” The corner of his mouth lifted in a reassuring smile. “The world needs balance. You of all people know the importance of that. We need dark and light, good and evil, right and wrong. But what you discovered, Teagan, is that you have a special gift to block out what is dark, simply by not allowing it to overpower the light.”
I fought the urge to roll my eyes at him and instead sighed deeply.
“Come.” Nate beckoned with his hand for me to bring the journal across the room to him.
“Do you remember when I explained how the earth is a mirror image of heaven?” he asked, not bothering to wait for my answer. “If there are guardians to watch over earth, who do you suppose watches over the guardians?”
He rifled through the pages, not expecting me to answer but for me to speculate, until he came to the very last page, which was blank. But instead of concerning himself with the actual page, he instead slipped an envelope opener along the inside of the back cover. The stitching ripped open and a pocket was revealed. Nate slipped a finger inside the flap and pulled out a yellowed and fragile paper.
From where I stood, I saw that it had no words written on it, but instead the number eight was drawn in fine calligraphy across the entire page.
Crossing over to the lamp with the reversed painting drawn on the inside of the glass shade, he pulled the thin chain, allowing the bulb to switch to a lower setting.
The pale light illuminated the glass and my eyes took in the dark lake, full of hands reaching up out of the water. I noticed the clouds were not clouds at all. They were wings, and an amazing number of angels reached down to the hands seeking them. In the dim light, he held the page up to the lamp and it mimicked the symbol in my hand. It wasn’t an eight, but an incredible lemniscate and with the special help of the light, the document was revealed within the fibrous threads of the parchment.
My hand immediately sprung to my face in disbelief. “Is that my … ?”
“Your birth certificate, yes.” I wanted to ask why it was hidden within a fragile piece of paper, but I couldn’t seem to ask. “Of course, your mother has the legal document as well; I’m sure you’ve seen it. This particular copy is the most important entry I’ve collected to date. For reasons we’ve recently learned,” he said with a grin.
When Nate realized I was at a loss for words, he picked up the pieces.
“You know Hadrian was your father’s guardian?”
I nodded.
“You possess your own power, and it is much, much stronger than your father’s ever was. Haven’t you seen the signs?” Nate’s voice was the softest I had ever heard it. “You are the light. A light sent from heaven to help cast aside darkness and fear. The light to see the good in all who have strayed from it. The light that guides the ones meant to watch over us.”
I listened to him, taking it all in, confused.
“Think of all those who sought you out. Your human nature perceived it as taunting, as wishing to do you harm, and with the exception of the most recent, it has merely been souls looking for a light to help guide them. For now, you have helped Brynn.”
In my hands I held the old paper with the incredible lemniscate drawn across it, my birth certificate protected within. I had always been guarded, always looked after, and it was funny that a piece of paper would be treated just as carefully. I traced the looping eight as I had often traced its replica in the palm of my hand.
“That paper is all the proof you need to finally realize you are more than you think yourself to be.”
I nodded silently. His point was sinking in, but I wondered, “You said that doors can’t really be closed. Then really, there isn’t an end, is there?”
“There is no death for what is not human, but more appropriately, a change.”
“I’ve heard that before,” I whispered.
Hadrian.
Then suddenly, I realized.
He was safe.
My heart released all the guilt I had built up since returning from the tunnel. I had honestly feared the absolute worst, but to hear Nate repeat the very same words Hadrian had spoken to me once before erased all that. I knew, deep down in my heart that it was true.
“But as far as Lucifer is concerned, be wary of your thoughts,” Nate warned. “You will meet him again if your mind is not closely guarded. Keep him at a great distance, for I fear he’ll do you great harm if he gets the chance. You of all people know how close the realms are from one another.”
I shivered at the thought of letting Brynn into my family. What if the day came when she would turn on me again? What about my mother’s safety?
“What do you say we call it a day?” Nate closed the book and I realized he was guarding me, like Garreth and Hadrian had done all along. The words the journal contained weren’t his secrets; they were mine, and they directly affected me.
I watched as he walked over to a painting I had never really paid attention to before. There had always been some sort of turmoil taking place in here for me to ever notice it during the few times I had been in this room. The large, heavy framed oil painting took up a good section of paneling. Something so large, only to be overlooked so often, made me wonder, how much did I really pay attention? Was I really seeing the bigger picture?
Standing up, I crossed the room to Nate’s side. I placed my hands on top of his, realizing something I never thought of until now.
“We’ve all been caught up in the fact that for a very long time, Brynn has been without a mother, but I’ve grown up without a father … until now.”
I flipped his hand over and held his mark up. “You’re here because of me.”
“I’ll be proud to stand in and claim that role.” He pulled me into a bear hug as the delicious smell of lemon bars made its way down the hallway to us and together we walked to the kitchen for a sweet end to our afternoon.
I could see the pattern starting here. A glimpse of the future. There were lemon bars and laughter, pizza, then a break for homework, followed by popcorn and a movie, and even more laughter.
Would I have pictured this a month ago? Not a chance. But here we were, the four of us, settling in as if we were a family. Brynn would jab my arm now and then, but not because she wanted to hurt me, but because she wanted my attention or to see if I thought something was just as funny as she did. At least for now.
My mother and Nate snuggled on the couch and I could see in both of their faces that this was right. That they had finally found the something that had been missing for a very long time, and deep down, I couldn’t help smiling.
“Wow, ten-thirty already,” my mom said as I stifled the second yawn of the night. “I nearly forgot these two have school tomorrow.”
Again, it would have been awkward, except it wasn’t. We said our goodbyes. My mom hugged Brynn, and I could swear I could hear the hardened shell of Brynn’s exterior cracking. When they parted, she looked at me a little guilty.
“It’s fine, Brynn. You can hug my mom.”
She nodded and smiled back, still uneasy. I knew the hole was filling once again. She needed a mom and I was a big enough girl to learn it was alright to share mine. Brynn needed healing, and maybe that alone would be enough to keep her from being tempted by darkness’s empty answers.
I pulled my coat onto my shoulders while my mother and Brynn walked on ahead to take one last peek at the kitchen, making sure the place was tidy enough to leave it for the night.
Nate leaned over to hug me goodbye.
“About the journal and everything, thanks. I mean it.”
“I should be thanking you. It took me years to compile everything in that journal. I thought if I kept looking, I’d find the answer to why I had been given this mark. It was in front of me all along.”
I hugged him back.
“Hey, this is good, right? You and I? We’re getting that predictable hump of awkwardness out of the way when it comes to kids and stepparents.”
“Yeah. Good thing I have my own car. We can hop over that one, too.”