"You can't do that!" said a young woman with a looseleaf folder.
"I just did," said Chiun. "I could do that all day."
"They mean you shouldn't, little father."
"Then they should express themselves more clearly." The young woman looked to the other men in the room. They confirmed that these two were indeed hers. "Hello," she said. "My name is Daphne Bloom. I am a counselor here at Poweressence. We are not trying to sell you anything, but rather to see if you might need what we have to offer."
Daphne was attractive, with a pert smile and a bouncy body to match. But every time the smile disappeared, she appeared desperately intense. The smile was only an external interruption.
"We don't normally test two people at once, but since you have removed the screen, I guess that's the way we'll do it. Who will go first?"
"Me," said Remo.
"I will go first," said Chiun.
"Go ahead," said Remo.
"No, you go. I want to hear your answers, so that I can show the correct answers."
"This is a character test, little father. No one wins."
"Someone wins in every test."
"You both can win," said Daphne, "if you find out what you need in life."
Remo glanced around the room. There were no curtains, no pictures, just the little cubicles placed in the center of what probably had been a vast dance floor. It seemed like a desecration, turning elegance into office space.
The room smelled of old cigarette smoke and floor cleaner. The chairs were hard metal folding devices, the table of the cubicle some synthetic composite designed by an accountant somewhere who thought low cost was the object.
"The first question is: Are you happy mostly, somewhat, or not at all?" asked Daphne.
"I can be happy knowing Remo is doing the right thing," said Chiun.
"Which means?"
"I am never happy," said Chiun.
"You're always happy, little father. You're happy when you're bitching."
"Put down 'never happy, ever,' " said Chiun. "Would you be happy, beautiful young lady, if you had a son who talked to you like that?"
"I don't think I would," said Daphne. "He's your son? You don't look white."
"I am Korean."
"Oh, he's Korean?"
"See?" said Chiun.
"Get on with the questioning. I'm white," said Remo.
"Even this beautiful intelligent young woman knows," said Chiun. "Thank you, miss."
"All right, Remo, are you happy mostly, sometimes, rarely?"
"All the time," snapped Remo. "You don't look happy."
"I'm happy. Get on with it."
"I am the one who is unhappy," said Chiun.
"You look happy," said Daphne.
"One must bestow joy on his surroundings. Through joy, we have joy," said Chiun.
"That's beautiful," said Daphne.
"Wait until he tells you about heads on the wall," said Remo.
"Are you some Oriental religion? I love Oriental religions."
"I am Sinanju," said Chiun.
"That's beautiful," said Daphne. "I love the sound."
"Then you'd better like dead bodies," said Remo.
"How can you be so negative?" said Daphne. "I'm putting you down for negative."
"It's the truth," said Remo. "Okay, when do we join? I got the money right here."
Daphne put down the loose-leaf book. Her eyes narrowed and her back straightened. Her voice rang with conviction.
"Some people may be in this for money, but they're losing the true strength of Poweressence. I have been in est, Sedona, Scientology, Intensive Reunification, but only now have I found the one thing that has turned my life around."
"From what?" asked Remo.
"Leave this good and beautiful girl alone," said Chiun. "She is trying to help."
"Thank you, sir," said Daphne.
"Am I winning?" asked Chiun.
"With me you are, sir."
"She is not only beautiful, she is wise."