As I headed back to the house, the jinn and his mount were coming through the apple orchard. The white horse and the jinn with his gleaming gold seemed almost like an apparition haunting the winter-bare trees. Violet sat in front of him, clutching the saddle horn, looking pale. He whistled and the horse stopped, with a delicate snort.
I held up my hands, but I stopped short of saying anything. What would I say, “Give her back”?
He seemed to take note of my worried look. “Well. You should go,” he said to Violet. She had a strange, lifeless look as the jinn hooked his hands under her arms and lifted her off the horse.
“I’m not interested in harming her,” he said.
“What did you do to her?” I asked. “She looks like she’s had the life sucked out of her.”
Violet coughed. “I’m fine. Really. I’m sorry I worried you, Nimira. I just wanted to… help Erris.” She walked over to me, but she kept looking back, as if the jinn had somehow bewitched her with those golden eyes of his.
“Where is Prince Erris?” the jinn said. He glanced at the sun, which was beginning its afternoon dive.
I shrugged, keeping my expression cool.
The jinn looked around him a long moment, while Violet looked at the ground. I wondered if jinn could track, but they were not forest creatures, and no recognition dawned on his face.
Good. Maybe Erris was right about water foiling his abilities.
He looked at me a moment, and at Violet another, and then he gave the reins a twitch, and his magnificent horse moved away with a fluid grace it seemed wrong for a horse to possess, like a woman so beautiful no other can compete with her. I think the horse knew it too, which made it all the worse.
I prayed that he would not find Erris in the water. I wanted to follow the jinn, but my presence would do no good; I might even give some accidental hint as to Erris’s whereabouts.
“He didn’t… say good-bye,” Violet said. She coughed.
“Oh, I’m sure he’ll stop by the house for tea when he’s done looking for someone else to kidnap,” I muttered. “Let’s get you to the house, you look peaked.”
I put my arm around Violet’s shoulder. I was still feeling kindly toward her because she had looked so small on the jinn’s horse, even though she had acted foolishly. She let me lead her along.
“What happened back there with you and the jinn?”
“Nothing.”
I recalled a time on my uncle’s farm when I had eaten a sweet yam bun I wasn’t supposed to have. My response when my uncle asked me where it had gone was much the same. But I didn’t want to demand an answer. That tactic had not exactly endeared my uncle to me. “You seemed awfully eager to sacrifice yourself on Erris’s behalf.”
She made a little grunt. I doubted there was anything more I could say, so I let her be.
As we neared the house, Celestina came running toward us. “Did you find him?”
“The jinn is searching the grounds, but Erris is hiding… in the ocean. I think it’s out of our hands now…” I took a deep breath.
Celestina startled me with an embrace. “It will be all right,” she said. “I only hope he doesn’t burn down the house if he can’t find Erris. Or take us hostage. Or some awful thing.”
“I don’t think… he’s really cruel,” Violet said. “When I was crying, he was rather nice.”
“What? When was this?”
Violet looked a little flushed. “I didn’t mean to cry, but for some reason, I got so upset about… trying to protect Uncle Erris, so I started crying.”
“What did he say to you?” I asked. I wanted to know as much as I could about this perplexing creature.
“I don’t know. We talked a bit. And then he helped me onto his horse. And that was when we saw you, Nimira.”
Celestina took a deep breath. “Well, I’m glad to hear you’re all right, but it certainly gave me a scare. And where is your other hair bow?”
“I guess I lost one.”
We had just entered the warm, cozy kitchen. Violet took an apple from the counter and sat down heavily. Celestina had just baked apple pies yesterday, and now she took one from the pantry and cut a huge slice from it. “Do you want any?” she asked me.
I shook my head. I moved to the window, and stared out even though there was no sign of the jinn. The loudest sound in the room was Violet’s slow crunching of the apple.
After a bit, Celestina said, “Come away from the window, Nim. There’s nothing we can do now.”
“I’m all right here.”
My thoughts were racing. I wondered what I would do if the jinn found Erris. Would I go to the fairy kingdom and try to save him? That seemed too impossible to even consider. But where would I go instead? Celestina liked me, she would surely let me stay the winter, but what about when Ordorio returned? Maybe he would agree to help rescue Erris and I could accompany him, although I wasn’t especially useful. Ordorio was Violet’s family, not mine, and I wasn’t Karstor’s concern either. I wondered if everyone would shut their doors to me if Erris disappeared. He was really the person who mattered.
Then it came back again to what I would do with Erris, anyway. If he remained an exiled automaton, we could never marry. Would I just remain the keeper of his key? And if he became the fairy king…?
The more thinking I did, the more hopeless I felt. It was best not to think at all, ever, but that was impossible to maintain.
I needed to make myself useful.
“I want to learn magic,” I said suddenly. “We can’t let this happen again.”
“It’s dangerous without proper instruction,” Celestina said. “And no one gives proper instruction in magic to women.”
“Oh, come now,” I said. “Don’t say that.” It was true, magic was something women simply didn’t do in this country, beyond perhaps a little healing or birthing magic. But I hadn’t taken Celestina for the type to follow all the rules. “My life is clearly dangerous whether I like it or not. We should be prepared.”
“Yes,” Violet said. “We should learn magic! Won’t Papa have some good books on it somewhere?”
“No,” Celestina said. “I’m not going to have your father coming back to find the house burned down!”
“If we’re careful, I doubt we’ll burn the house down,” I said. Magic could be dangerous-I knew it well-but I imagined it would be less dangerous if we had time to practice. “Celestina, we can’t just let the jinn come back and take Erris. Or Violet!”
“Maybe Erris could teach me fairy magic,” Violet said.
“That won’t help the rest of us!” I said. Goodness, if Erris started teaching Violet how to talk to the forest while I sat around uselessly, I would scream.
“No one is learning magic until Mr. Valdana comes back!” Celestina shouted, shoving back the empty plate she had been eating pie from moments ago. “He left me in charge and I must insist.”
“Why?” Violet asked.
“Because it’s dangerous, as I just said.”
I had never seen Celestina be short about anything. I raised my brows.
“I hear the horse,” she said. I thought she was only looking for a diversion, but when I pushed aside the curtain, sure enough, the jinn had ridden his horse to the door and slid off as easy as I might climb out of bed. He knocked on the door.
Celestina shot me an apprehensive glance, then opened it. “Yes?”
“Where is he?” the jinn said.
We were quiet, although Violet stood from her chair.
“You’ve foiled my magic.” He put his hand to his heart and dipped his head, an acknowledgment. When his head came back up, his eyes met mine. “He was the first thing King Luka asked of me.”
His voice was soft, and yet, I could feel his power like the electricity in the air before a storm, and I wondered how we would ever foil him twice.
His eyes lingered briefly on each of us, and then he turned back to his horse. Celestina shut the door, and Violet moved to the window. We all watched him go.
“I’m going to study magic,” I said firmly. “But first, I must get Erris.”
I waited awhile and approached the shore warily, still looking and listening for the jinn in case of trickery. And when the sea came in view, it looked empty, like it had surely swept Erris away without a trace.
I screamed his name. The sea winds roared in my ears. I cupped my hands around my mouth and called even louder.
He stood up from behind the rock, just where he’d said he’d be. I tried to hide how scared I had felt. He straggled up to me, clothes soaking wet. His hair was still dry. He never had to submerge himself completely, but he’d still been in the water over an hour.
“Are you all right?” I touched his wet shoulder.
“I think so.” He clutched his chest. He looked quite pale. After a moment he said, “I feel cold and clammy all over. Not right at all.”
“You’ll probably feel better as you dry out,” I said hopefully. What would it be like to feel the cold sea rush not just over your skin, but all through your insides?
“Yes…”
“Well, let’s get you back to the house.”
“You go on without me,” he said.
“But-”
“I want to be alone,” he said, with the slightest hint of desperation.
I regarded him a moment, reluctant, and he nodded toward the line of trees, urging me on.
“You always want to be alone,” I said softly. I turned from him, sniffing back the tears, and started to walk away.
“I’m sorry,” he called.
I couldn’t take that. Like he could just yell out that he was sorry and everything would be all right. “I was so worried about you,” I said, my hands trembling as I turned back around. “I know you want to be alone, but-but can’t you ever let me care for you anymore? I was so afraid I was going to lose you today, and now you’re safe, but you’re pushing me away.”
“I can’t be good company right now,” Erris said. “I feel all… all wrong. Usually I sort of feel like I’m made of flesh and bone, even if I’m not, but right now I feel… all wrong.” Indeed, he seemed very shaken. He sat down on a nearby rock and clutched his hands together.
I went to his side. “I don’t care whether you’re good company or not. I care about you. And as hard as this is to deal with, is it really easier to deal with it alone?”
“Maybe.” He didn’t look at me.
“When you were trapped at a piano and you couldn’t even speak, wasn’t that worse? But you wanted me around then.”
“It was worse. But… I felt like a ghost then. A ghost tethered to an object. Now I feel… alive. But all wrong. When I’m around other people, even you and Celestina and Violet…”
He didn’t finish, but I knew what he was getting at. “Erris, don’t you think I feel horrible about all this? I lay awake at night wondering if I was right to try and save you, because… I gave you this. I gave you the best I could. I loved you, and…” My voice was starting to break up now. “I couldn’t give you enough, and now I can never really have you. I didn’t save you after all.”
I started to cry. I felt awful about it. He was the one with his insides full of seawater and I was the one sobbing. “I’m sorry,” I said. My turn for those feeble words.
“Please don’t cry,” he said softly. He took my right hand, even as I covered my face with the left, and separated my fingers in a way that made me shiver. When the only place we ever touched was our hands, it was astonishing how sensitive they became to the slightest of caresses.
“Nimira,” he continued. “I thought we were fine friends. I tease you, and you laugh, and we make music together. What else can I do?”
“No!” I shouted. “Enough about ‘fine friends’! I can’t stand it. All this teasing and laughing seems like a charade! I can tell you’re in despair, and you never tell me about that. If you meant what you said when you told me you loved me-and I meant it-then let us be open with our hearts and minds!”
“Look at me,” he suddenly said fiercely. And when I did, he pulled open his shirt so I could see gears ticking and their rhythm like a heartbeat. “You can’t really love this.”
I’ll admit it was always an unnerving sight, the contrast of Erris’s deeply living face and the clockwork under his clothes. I could pretend it didn’t disturb me, but I think he could sense even the slightest hint of horror from me. And in fact, I was fighting deep in my core not to cry again, because I had done this to him.
“You can’t tell me what I love,” I said.
“You love a fiction,” he said. “A romantic story of a fairy prince. But fair maidens don’t fall for beasts. I know how the story goes.” There was disdain in his voice. Disdain, for me, as if I were too stupid not to think beyond myths and fables!
I picked up a rock and dashed it on the stones in front of him, and then I stormed off to learn magic, whether anyone liked it or not.