An optimized economy relies on proper incentives-incentives for innovation, incentives against corruption, incentives to share knowledge rather than hoard it, incentives for hard work, incentives to find what you love and to do it every day! The Game, the divinely inspired fabric under which players live and the bounty of the universe is being realized, bequeaths these incentives to us.
Deep under the rotting trees of Meredith Forest, within the slime-covered tunnels of the Nardar catacombs, D_Light moved quickly while Lily trailed behind him like a kitten chasing a string. D_Light was multitasking as best he could. It wasn’t easy getting directions in the catacombs while simultaneously keeping the nasties at bay. He had already spent more manna than he wanted by frying a couple of corrupted elves they had come across in play.
A hustler opened a blink with D_Light. The Nardar catacombs, yeah, I’ve been there before…eh, a while back.
D_Light was not impressed with the thought tone of the hustler. Given the generous amount of points D_Light was auctioning off for a guide to the apartment mounds, he expected top quality. He replied unceremoniously, Okay, well I want out of here fast, so there’ll be a bonus in it if you can keep sharp.
The hustler, who went simply by “Bone,” asked, Right, so where you at?
I don’t know. That’s why I need you, replied an irritated D_Light.
D_Light stopped suddenly in his tracks, trying to get his bearings. Lily, who had thus far proven to be an excellent shadow, nearly bumped into him and then looked at him with dagger eyes. She wasn’t privy to the conversation taking place in his head, perhaps making her unsympathetic to his thoughtless movements.
This reminded D_Light to throw a word or two of praise and encouragement at his guest, which he thought was appropriate; then again, he wasn’t sure. “Hey, nice job, by the way,” he whispered over his shoulder. “I know this is kind of crazy and uh…” D_Light thought about patting her on the arm as a comforting gesture; he raised his hand to do so, but then decided against it. His arm fell back to his side. He did not really know what to expect from a towheaded demon. He did remember her knife though, so instead of attempting any physical affection, he smiled stupidly while nodding and then promptly turned forward again.
The witch and the warrior woman were standing in a large hall lined on both sides by statues. The pale limestone skin of the statues was blotched with dark stains. D_Light panned his eyes slowly over them and had Smorgeous upload the video to the hustler. He took his time. He chose to send the video in high definition even though it would take a little longer to upload. He wanted Bone to get a really good look.
Oh yeah, I know where you’re at, I think, blinked Bone. Hey, pan back to your left a bit. Check that chick on the end o’ the hall. Yeah, that chick, the one with the big ol’ titties. Yeah, I know that one.
The hustler appeared to be referring to the statue of a mythical female creature. She had deer legs bent as though ready to spring. Her upper body was that of a nude human female. Vestiges of what were once long bird wings extended out only as jagged stone stubs from her back.
There was a moment of silence followed by another blink from Bone. All right, I’m on it. Just let me bring up some of my old maps.
Bone sounded a bit more confident now, but D_Light was not convinced. Unfortunately, he didn’t have much choice but to give this guide a shot. None of these catacombs were auto-mapped; that would defeat the allure of the game. D_Light had been wandering these apartment mounds for hours and had a pretty impressive map of his own, but since he had not yet mapped out this quadrant of the ghetto, he was already lost. He didn’t dare go back outside to get back to familiar territory, either. There they would be fully exposed to the satellites.
“Keep an eye out,” D_Light whispered over to Lily.
He could see that his remark was completely unnecessary. She looked like a frightened little rabbit. Of course, that was no surprise. The catacombs were skinned to look absolutely frightful. The corrupted living walls quivered and excreted a thick, slow moving, bloody slime. Even the statues were bleeding. The woman statue before him had tears of blood running down her blotched and stained cheeks, progressing downward from her nipples to her groin. These were common thematic tricks designed to hammer home a sense that you were indeed in a place of evil and in imminent danger. D_Light wished he could log them both out for a short while-just long enough to put the nOOb at ease-but that would be a poor choice. For one thing, it would waste precious time. For another, her genuine fear was bound to make her react more realistically. If she was going to blend in, she could not just casually saunter about like a non-player.
Bone blinked again. Okay, now I know where you’re at. I’m gonna upload a map that’ll help.
Presently, a map showing a way out appeared in D_Light’s mind. It displayed exactly one route that started in the statue hallway where he was currently located and led to one of the tunnels that exited this spanker ghetto. Because of the hive-like interconnectedness of the apartment mounds, there were obviously many other routes to the exit. However, spankers jealously guarded their maps and rarely gave more information than was required.
Using the map and Smorgeous’s onboard compass, D_Light was able to follow the directions fairly well. He darted down this hallway and that. He mostly tried to avoid trouble, but would occasionally attack a nasty if it seemed like easy pickings. After all, it would help keep up the appearance that he was truly gaming. At one point they passed a large party of fellow spankers, maybe ten or so-several fighters, a few priests, even two wizards. They eyed D_Light and Lily carefully until D_Light put up the hand signal for his guild. It was a good-aligned guild, which apparently satisfied them. They looked like they were heading into the thick of the catacombs, which was a pity since D_Light would have liked to hitch a ride with them.
Master, you have a call from Mother Lyra, Smorgeous messaged to D_Light.
D_Light, caught off guard, cursed. He had forgotten all about Lyra and the others, being so focused on the task at hand.
Hey, D, where you at? Lyra’s mental signature sounded more curious than annoyed.
Down in the catacombs, er, I mean, down in one of the apartment mounds. D_Light was sending his thoughts with little buffering. This made for faster communication, but it often resulted in tripping over his words.
Lyra replied, Why are you down there? Making new friends?
D_Light was startled by this, and he wondered if Lyra knew the truth. He quickly dismissed the thought. He had to be careful when blinking, as he might send something he didn’t intend to reveal to others. He decided to send a response that was close to the truth. I saw another demon, or I think it’s one. I’m looking into it.
Forget that, replied Lyra. The angel nabbed the one we targeted up here. We only need one to satisfy the quest, you know. You need to get up here before we get the next quest. We all need to be ready to move out fast.
Respectfully, Mother, please allow me to tag this demon, D_Light returned. It’s bound to be worth a generous bounty, and of course, I would be sharing that with my game-mates.
There was a pause. No doubt Lyra was conferring with Djoser.
The mental silence was broken when Lyra messaged her reply. Well, the next quest isn’t in yet. Anything we can do to help?
I could use a lot of help, D_Light thought, but he didn’t send it. The others could not know that he was actually helping the demon escape. He couldn’t take the chance of them tipping off the Authority.
Naw, but thanks, answered D_Light. You showing up might spook her. Just let me handle it.
All right, we’ll just chill here, but if the next quest comes in before you wrap it up, you need to drop it. We don’t have time for any side games.
With that, Lyra ended the blink. D_Light was glad she could take a hint. It was more than he could handle to synchronously keep track of the map, the conversation, his thoughts, and the nasties.
His previous research had revealed that there was always a pause between MetaGame quests. Usually, the next one came the following morning, but sometimes it was much sooner. He needed to stay on task.
D_Light resumed his blink with Bone. Hey, Bone, you sure this map is legit? I’m running into a wall here-like, literally. D_Light slid his hand against a smooth dro-vine wall, a sensation that belied the slimy, bleeding wall that NeverWorld skinned it as.
There was no response from Bone. Damn nOOb, D_Light thought. He must be sweating something in his own spank. Multithreading with me? He’s definitely not getting extra props when it’s time to do an eval.
D_Light was about to close the blink and flame his so-called “guide” when Bone blinked in. That map was solid when I made it. Dunno, according to the OwnYoAss Cloud Service, that ghetto you’re in is high-morphing. If that’s true, you might have to find a local to help you out. Or play it old-school. Bone sent over an animated shrugging zebra to emphasize his bewilderment.
Indeed, Smorgeous had already warned D_Light that the dro-vine that made up these apartment mounds was a high-morphing variety, one that grew quickly. For this reason, he had already feared that any map more than a few weeks old would be obsolete. Discouraged, D_Light replied, Yeah, okay, I’ll improvise. Thanks. D_Light terminated the blink with Bone and sent him a few complimentary points, a kind of “thanks anyway” tip. D_Light almost always did this, even for fairly poor service. You didn’t want gamers thrashing your profile or, worse yet, to find yourself on a blacklist just because you were too stingy to throw a hustler a little something for his time.
Having no reliable map, D_Light decided it was time to go where the action was and snag himself a local guide. The first sign of said action was the high-pitched sound of metal clanging against metal, a sound that travelled far, serving as a signpost pointing out the nearest spankers. As they ran closer, he started making out the yells of the spankers and the snarling of the nasties. The anticipation always raised D_Light’s pulse. He looked back at Lily, and despite the sounds of the brawl ahead, she appeared a bit more at ease now. She returned a look that hinted she was unimpressed with his escape plan so far, although she did not complain out loud. Just then, a particularly blood-curdling scream jolted out from ahead of them, and her apprehensive look returned.
D_Light slowed his pace. Although in a hurry, he did not want to find himself in some gory mess that resulted in his death and ejection from the game. There was a flickering light from around the corner ahead, probably from the lanterns the spankers were carrying. From what he understood, the nasties in this catacomb, known as “Salem’s Corrupted,” did not need light, as they could see in total darkness.
D_Light motioned to Lily to stay put. He then crouched down low, crept up to the corner, and peered around. This was definitely where the action was.
Before him was a large chamber with a dais that swept up to a long altar. Atop the altar was a statue of a tall, proud woman who wore a dress that swept out in all directions like an explosion, the skirt part interwoven with stone leaves and flowers. She cradled a delicately carved baby who, with wide eyes, stared up adoringly at his mother. The statue and altar below were rusty in color and bore dark smudges that, D_Light assumed, were the marks of years of sacrificial blood. The eyes of both mother and child were inlaid with large emeralds, bringing realism and beauty to an otherwise perverted depiction of motherhood.
All around the statue the corrupted and the spankers battled. There were over a dozen nasties and four players. Several of the corrupted had already fallen, but it was evident to D_Light that the good guys were hard-pressed.
There was a lot of virtual blood. The nasties flailed about dramatically as they got sliced by the warriors’ blades or blasted by the sorcerers’ lightning bolts. The spankers were having a devil of a time since the alarm had been sounded; nasties were making their way in from the various tunnels that intersected the large room.
D_Light feared that it would only be a matter of time before a set of nasties, attracted by the commotion of battle, came upon him from behind. Time to work fast. He slunk back completely out of sight from those inside the room and began his incantation. He spoke the words of the spell as quietly as he could, although he doubted very much that the combatants would hear him over the din anyway. He waved his arms in an intricate pattern, and as he finished, he cupped his hands together to create a small, hollow sphere. He shifted a thumb to allow himself to see inside his cupped hands. A tiny icicle had appeared.
D_Light blew into the improvised womb. With a few more arcane words and several additional breaths, the icicle grew and transformed into a cube, which melted into the shape of a mouse nearly too tiny to recognize. He continued to breathe life into the creature, and with every breath he knew his manna-his spell casting power-was diminishing. It was worth it. In fact, he was willing to pour a good deal of his strength into this spell. One shot. This needs to work, he thought.
Gradually, he opened his fingers to give the mouse room to grow as he peered around the corner again. One of the spankers, the wizard, had died since D_Light had last checked. The corpse was on the ground, and the player’s ghost was standing over the body, throwing a silent tantrum. The rest of the party, now numbering three (a hulking barbarian-looking fellow, a stout battleaxe-wielding dwarf, and a mace-swinging cleric), stood back to back in a triangle, hacking, bashing, and stabbing for their lives.
D_Light decided this was about as good a time as any. He let the mouse go. Its tiny translucent body glowed with shimmering blue flame, and its portly belly dragged along the ground, leaving a thin trail of ice behind as it scurried toward the combatants. D_Light whispered arcane commands to the mouse under his breath, urging it to the left and the right until it had made its way under the nasties and right up to the foot of the gnarly bearded dwarf. D_Light did not dare to wait any longer. If the mouse were stepped on, the spell would end. He shouted out the final command word, and not a moment too soon. The dwarf looked down at the mouse, and his eyes widened with surprise. His thick lips curled into what was certainly going to be a curse, and he raised his foot up to squash the rodent. But before his foot came down, the mouse exploded with a terrific crack! Countless shards of ice eviscerated those nearby, and cold blue flames washed over them like a boulder crashing into a pond. Everyone, spankers and nasties alike, was struck down.
D_Light called for Lily, who was at his side so quickly he wondered if NeverWorld was playing tricks on his perception of time. The blue wave and the ice shards strewn about like shattered glass suddenly vanished in a torrent of steam. The sliced and stiff dead were lain out roughly in a circle around ground zero. All the nasties had fallen, as had the barbarian and the cleric. Only the dwarf moved. Now, two additional ghosts joined the first one, their heads swiveling around wildly as their mouths opened wide in quiet rage. D_Light was not surprised to see the dwarf still alive. Dwarf warriors were the definition of hardiness.
Reflexively, D_Light stepped out of the hallway and prepared to finish off the dwarf with a nicely placed lightning bolt, but then he remembered that the dwarf needed to live at least for a little while longer. The dwarf raised his ax slightly while crouching, preparing to charge.
“Don’t move, good dwarf, or surely I will finish you!” D_Light rallied his most commanding voice. The dwarf raised his ax higher but did not move his feet.
D_Light motioned for Lily to step out. “You are outnumbered, and we are fresh. You cannot possibly triumph against us. However, I do not ask for your surrender; nay, I ask for your aid!”
D_Light always felt a bit embarrassed using words like “nay,” but the game system rewarded good role-playing with extra points. He was not particularly good at fantaspeech, the quasi-medieval form of speaking used when playing in this fantasy world, but he at least tried to use enough to avoid a point penalty.
“We need a good guide to lead us from this foul place,” D_Light said. “I suspect you are our man. In return, you will keep your life and a third share of the treasure taken. What say you? Let us plunder and move on fast before more of Salem’s fallen hinder us!”
“Why should I trust a bitch-ass pisser like you?”
The term “pisser” was game slang for “player-slayer,” which was not at all in character, nor was his use of the term “bitch-ass.” D_Light realized this spanker must either be truly angry or a nOOb.
“No choice!” boomed D_Light. “You are either useful alive as our guide, or you are useful dead, less your valuables. Quickly now!”
The dwarf reluctantly agreed. Apparently, he had enough sense to not end up a ghost like his friends, who were then shouting thinly heard obscenities at D_Light and Lily. However, the logged-out spankers did not dare physically interfere with them. Such activity was a clear violation of NeverWorld rules and would likely result in a stiff point penalty. Instead, they just hovered nearby, waving their arms around in an attempt to distract D_Light and Lily. Lily stared at them, but D_Light was used to this. It wasn’t the first time he had slain other players’ virtual characters for loot, but on those occasions the players he smoked were evil in alignment. According to the coat of arms adorning the armor of one of the nearby fallen, these characters belonged to a good-aligned guild, and so his misdeed would surely come back to haunt him, perhaps the next time his witch character visited a village or city of civilized lands.
As the ghosts made obscene hand gestures at D_Light and made pelvic thrusts in the air near Lily, D_Light instructed Lily to start rummaging through the virtual bodies on the floor and grab anything that looked valuable. The dwarf was already at work on the statue, attempting to pry the large gems from the eye sockets. D_Light enjoyed searching for treasure after a fight and typically took a great deal of care in making sure he did not miss anything, particularly any small magical items like rings, potions, and the like. But this time he took only what was obvious without looking for any secret caches in the room or hidden pockets in the burnt remains covering the fallen. His haste was, in part, due to the fact that he knew more nasties were bound to show up soon, but mostly he just wanted to get moving. Still, getting treasure was what one did in this situation, and D_Light wanted to keep up appearances. All actions in NeverWorld were recorded.
Soon D_Light had a sizable sack of gold, a powerful magical sword, and an assortment of magical potions and scrolls. Because he was a witch, he could not use the sword effectively. Worse yet, the gold was very heavy, and it was going to slow him down. It did not have any real weight, but the game system warned him that he was now “heavily encumbered” and so would not be allowed to run, only jog. The game could not directly force a spanker to behave appropriately when something bad happened-for example, if a spanker was paralyzed by poison or the victim of a spell that caused a thorny wall to spring up in front of him. Instead, the game would notify the player that an effect was upon the spanker, and the spanker would then have to role-play the situation.
In this case, although D_Light was still physically capable of sprinting at his full speed, to do so while carrying this much virtual weight would be cheating. A spanker only got a few warnings for poor role-playing before they were point-penalized or, if the infraction was serious enough, their character was instantly killed. Spankers called this “getting wrathed” because such a death in NeverWorld was attributed to inciting the wrath of the gods.
D_Light decided to hand the sword and gold over to Lily. Since she was playing a warrior and was therefore strong, she was allowed to carry much more weight without being affected.
The dwarf had finished prying loose the stones, and D_Light demanded one, which the dwarf handed over silently, but with a fierce look.
“Okay, guide, take us out the swiftest way you know. Keep indoors, though. I don’t want to go outside just yet,” D_Light ordered.
“Outside is the fastest,” the dwarf said emphatically.
“There’s an exit from the catacombs nearby, and then there is a gate out of this ghe-” The spanker caught himself before saying the word “ghetto” and corrected himself. “Out of the Corrupted Lands.”
“There is danger in the open air that you know not of,” D_Light warned. “Nay, we must travel inside. Surely there is an underground cavern that will take us out of the Corrupted Lands.”
By “underground cavern” D_Light meant a spunnel, although he did not use this term because it was not fantaspeech. Spunnels, or spanker tunnels, ran underground, usually between nearby spanker ghettos. These avenues were constructed so that spankers, who were always jacked in and distracted by the various games they were playing, did not make themselves a nuisance to other travelers. This segregation facilitated more orderly traffic in the common avenues. Spankers could use the common avenues too, but most games encouraged spankers to use the spunnels by placing more interesting objects and scenarios in the spunnels than in the common avenues.
The dwarf seemed to know what the witch meant, and after a moment of thought, he pointed to a passage out of the room.
“Before we away, I must heal a few of my egregious wounds,” the dwarf said, extracting a pink-colored potion from his belt.
“Don’t!” D_Light commanded. His feminine, bejeweled hand glowed green with a half-finished spell. He extended his other hand for the potion. “Sorry, my fine dwarf, but I’ll take that. I need you at less than full strength, for I cannot have you feeling stupidly brave and swinging that ax of yours in our direction.” The witch’s voice was smooth and alluring.
The dwarf truly looked furious now, but he regarded the witch’s glowing hand carefully, and after a moment, he threw the bottle down, shattering it.
D_Light frowned. “Now there you go, wasting a perfectly good healing potion. Not a good way to make friends. Go on then, we must away! You lead.”
D_Light and Lily followed behind. D_Light hoped the dwarf was not foolish enough to try to give him the slip. Besides, the dwarf was short and stocky, so unless he was willing to cheat or was wearing some magical enhancement, he would not be allowed to run very swiftly.
Although Lily had ceased some time ago deliberating about whether or not to escape from the human, she wondered, as she trailed behind the other two, what alien madness she had agreed to. It was like a dark vision that kept going and going. She decided that just as soon as she was out of this place, far away, she would leave them. How could she not? She knew that humans rarely acted outside of their own self-interest, and Lily did not see how it was in this human’s interest to help her. Unless he wishes to mate me, she thought. Todget had warned her that humans would want her for that. If that was the case, Lily did not reciprocate the interest. He was pleasing to the eye, as were many human males, but he did not smell quite right.