'What I was trying to tell you,' Marvin said, 'is that there is no sex crime involved here.'
'They all say that,' the detective mused. 'It is strange how the human mind is forever unwilling to accept the unacceptable.'
'Look,' Marvin said, if you would take the time to read over the facts of the case, you would see that it was a case of an outright swindle. Money and self-perpetuation were the motives.'
'I am aware of that,' the detective said. 'And, were I unaware of the processes of sublimation, we could leave it at that.'
'What possible motive could the criminal have had?' Marvin asked.
'His motive is obvious,' Urdorf said. 'It is a classic syndrome. You see, this fellow was acting under a specific compulsion, for which we have a specific technical term. He was driven to his deed in an advanced state of obsessive projective narcissism.'
'I don't understand,' Marvin said.
'It is not the sort of thing which the layman is apt to encounter,' the detective told him.
'What does it mean?'
'Well, I can't go into the entire etiology, but essentially, the dynamics of the syndrome involve a displaced self-love. That is to say, the sufferer falls in love with another, but not as other. Rather, he falls in love with the Other as Himself. He projects himself into the persona of the Other, identifying himself with that Other in all ways, and repudiating his actual self. And, should he be able to possess that Other, through Mindswap or allied means, then that Other becomes himself, for whom he then feels a perfectly normal self-love.'
'Do you mean,' Marvin asked, 'that this thief loved me?'
'Not at all! Or rather, he didn't love you as you – as a separate person. He loved himself as you, and thus his neurosis forced him to become you in order that he could love himself.'
'And once he was me,' Marvin asked, 'he was then able to love himself?'
'Precisely! That particular phenomenon is known as the incrementation of the ego. Possession of the Other equals possession of the primordial Self; possession becomes self-possession, obsessive projection is transformed into normative introjection. Upon achievement of the neurotic goal there is an apparent remission of symptoms, and the sufferer achieves a state of pseudonormalcy in which his problem can be detected only inferentially. It is a very great tragedy, of course.'
'For the victim?'
'Well, yes, that certainly,' Urdorf said. 'But I was thinking of the patient. You see, in his case two perfectly normal drives have been combined, or crossed, and thus perverted. Self-love is normal and necessary, and so is the desire for possession and transformation. But taken together, they are destructive of the true self, which is supplanted by what we term the "mirror-ego". The neurotic conquest, you see, shuts the door to objective reality. Ironically enough, the apparent integration of the self precludes any hope of real mental health.'
'All right,' Marvin said, with resignation. 'Will this help us find the man who stole my body?'
'It will enable us to understand him,' the detective said. 'Knowledge is power; we know at the very start that the man we seek is apt to act normal. This extends our field of action and enables us to act as if he were normal, and thus to see the full complement of modern investigative techniques. Being able to start from a premise like that, or indeed from any premise, is a very real advantage, I can assure you.'
'How soon can you begin?' Marvin asked.
'I have already begun,' the detective replied. 'I shall send for the court records, of course, and all other documents pertaining to this matter, and I shall contact all relevant planetary authorities for additional information. I will spare no effort, and I will travel to the ends of the universe if necessary or desirable. I shall solve this case!'
'I'm very glad you feel that way,' Marvin said.
'One hundred and fifty-eight cases without a break,' Urdorf mused. 'Have you ever heard of such a run of bad luck? But it will end here. I mean to say, it can't go on indefinitely, can it?'
'I don't suppose so.'
'I wish my superiors would take that view,' the detective said gloomily. 'I wish they'd stop calling me "stumblebum". Words like that and sneers and lifted eyebrows all tend to shake one's confidence. Luckily for me, I have an implacable will and utter self-confidence. Or at least I did have through my first ninety or so failures.'
The detective brooded darkly for several moments, then said to Marvin: 'I will expect your complete and utter cooperation.'
'You shall have it,' Marvin said. 'The only trouble is, I am to be dispossessed of this body in less than six hours.'
'Damned awkward,' Urdorf said absentmindedly. He was obviously thinking about his case, and only with difficulty did he turn his attention back to Marvin. 'Dispossessed, eh? I suppose you've made other arrangements. No? Well then, I suppose you will make other arrangements.'
'I don't know what arrangements to make,' Marvin said gloomily.
'Well, you can't expert me to sort out your whole life for you,' the detective snapped. 'I've been trained to do one job, and the fact that I've failed consistently at it doesn't alter the fact that it is the job which I have been trained for. So you must cope with this matter of finding a body for yourself. The stakes are very high, you know.'
'I know,' Marvin said. 'Finding a body is life or death for me.'
'Well, yes, that too,' the detective said. 'But I was thinking of the case and of the detrimental effect your death would have upon it.'
'That's a hell of a thing to say,' Marvin said.
'I wasn't thinking of my own stake in the matter,' the detective said. 'Obviously, I do have a stake. But more important than that is the concept of Justice, and the belief in the possibility of goodness, upon which all theories of evil must depend, and also the statistical theory of probabilities. All of these vital concepts might be damaged by my 159th failure to solve a crime. And I think you'll admit that these are somewhat larger issues than our petty lives.'
'No, I won't admit it,' Marvin said.
'Well, no need to argue the matter,' the detective said, in a determinedly cheerful voice. 'Find yourself another body somewhere; and above all, stay alive! I want you to promise me that you'll really try your level best to stay alive.'
'I promise,' Marvin said.
'And I shall proceed with your case, and I will contact you as soon as I have anything to report.'
'But how will you find me?' Marvin asked. 'I don't know what body I'll be in, or even what planet.'
'You forget that I am a detective,' Urdorf said, smiling faintly. 'I may have my troubles in finding criminals, but I have never experienced the slightest difficulty in finding victims. I have a theory about that, which I will be pleased to discuss with you whenever we both have the time. But for now, just remember: wherever you are or whatever you turn into, I shall certainly locate you. So keep your chin up, don't lose the old moxie, and above all, stay alive!'
Marvin agreed to stay alive, since he had planned on it anyhow. And he went out into the street with his precious time flowing away, and still without a body.
Headline in the Martian Sun-News (tri-planet edition):
Police officials on Mars and Terra revealed today the existence of a Mindswap scandal. Wanted for questioning is Ze Kraggash, species unknown, who allegedly sold, swapped, or otherwise disposed of his Body to 12 Beings simultaneously. Warrants have been issued for Kraggash's arrest, and the police of the tri-planet area confidently expect to make an announcement soon. The case is reminiscent of the infamous 'Eddie Two-Head' scandal of the early '90s, in which …
Marvin Flynn let the newspaper fall into the gutter. He watched as the flowing sand bore it away; the bitter ephemerality of the newsprint seemed a paradigm of his own highly conditional existence. He stared at his hands; his head drooped.
' 'Ere now, 'ere now, what seems to be the trouble, eh, lad?'
Flynn looked up into the kindly blue-green face of an Erlan.
'I've got troubles,' Flynn said.
'Well then, let's hear 'em,' the Erlan said, folding himself down on the kerb beside Flynn. Like all of his race, the Erlan combined a quick sympathy with brusque manners. Erlans were known as a rough, witty people, much given to cheerful banter and homely sayings. Great travellers and traders, the Erlans of Erlan II were religiously required to travel in corpore.
Marvin told his story, right up to the disconsolate moment of the forward-surging now, the cruel and remorseless now, the hungry now, eating into his little stock of minutes and seconds, pressing forward to the time when his six hours would have elapsed, and bodyless, he would be cast into that unknown galaxy that men call 'death'.
'Garn!' the Erlan said. 'Not half sorry for yourself, are you?'