Then I saw his eyes lower, looking at my neck, and my heart, beating of its own accord, sped up. His expression changed, growing more somber, and his face inched closer to mine. I breathed in deeply, and he smelled so clean, like Ivory soap and mint toothpaste.
“You can hear my blood,” I said softly. He didn’t answer, but slowly pulled his eyes away from my throat so they met mine again. His hunger rolled off him, filling me with a strange desire. “What does it sound like?”
“It sounds like…” He let out a breath that sounded suspiciously like a moan. “…music.”
“What does it feel like?” I whispered. “When you’re bitten? What would I feel?” Then his eyes got that wistful look, almost like the one Ezra had when he thought about Mae, and my heart fluttered. A look of pleasure passed over Jack’s face, and for a moment, I felt flush with the warmth of his hunger and adoration.
“You…” He exhaled deeply, then smiled sourly. “… really need to get going.” Abruptly, he pushed back from me and turned around, walking away from me. The sudden shift, along with the lingering desire, startled me.
“What? Why?” I jumped off the stool and scampered after him. “It’s not that late.”
“No, it’s not,” Jack agreed, continuing out into the garage. I caught the door before it swung shut and ran into the garage after him. “But I only have so much will power left.”
“You can bite me if you want,” I offered helpfully. I knew he really wanted to, and it didn’t really seem like that big of a deal if he did. “I want you to.” He had stopped in front of the Jetta, and I stood a few away from him, watching him. He laughed darkly and turned to face me, scratching the back of his head and smiling incredulously.
“You’re killing me here!” Jack shook his head, then pointed his keys at me as he walked towards the car door. “You are far more dangerous than I am!”
“What?” I demanded. He had stopped at driver’s side door, and I looked over the top of the car at him. “Why won’t you do it?” His desperate want made me want him too, and I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just bite me.
“I just can’t, Alice.” His expression was grave, and he dropped his eyes from mine, looking rather ashamed. “And if you’re not going to stop, then I’ll have Mae give you a ride home.” He shook his head. “I won’t be able to say no.”
“Fine, I’ll drop it.”
Grudgingly, I opened the car door and got inside. A few seconds later, Jack got in and started the car. I could feel how much he wanted me, the deep hunger brewing painfully inside of him, and the shame at feeling that way. I sat in silence, feeling embarrassed tears sting my eyes.
“Are you crying?” His breath caught in his throat. “Why are you crying?”
“Is there something wrong with me?” I wiped at my eyes.
“What are you talking about?” Jack asked.
“There has to be something wrong with me. Peter can’t even be around me, and you can’t do it either. Is my blood like poison or something?”
“Oh my god, Alice.” He rubbed his temple, laughing emptily. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me.” He looked over at me again and shook his head.
“I can’t even take you home. I can’t even-” Then he just turned and jumped out of the car.
“What?” I scrambled out after him, wondering what I had done to drive him away. He stood just outside the car, trying to shake it off. “What did I do?”
“You’re not poison! You’re the opposite of poison! And you smell so good!” Jack exhaled, but it was more like he was gasping for air. “I can’t be in that car with you. You did this thing to me and I need to get back down, but you’re so…” He shook his head, unwilling to say it aloud.
“I don’t understand. If you want me so much, then why can’t you just have me?” I knew how much he wanted me. I felt what he felt, so I wanted what he wanted. It was raw and pure and so intense it was suffocating.
“Alice…” He had his hands on his hips and he let out a shaky breath.
“Peter would kill me. He would literally tear me to shreds. He wouldn’t want to, but he would.”
“What? What does Peter have to do with this?” Then I thought of Peter, feeling strangely excited by the fact that he would express jealousy over me, and my heart sped up. Jack’s face contorted miserably, and he shook his head.
“You’re thinking of him. You’re fucking thinking of him.” He clenched his fists. “You have no idea what you’re doing!”
“I’m sorry!” I cried, trying to slow my heart down. Jack looked as if I was actually killing him, and his agony ripped through me. “Can’t you just bite me and make this stop?”
“Alice!” Jack lamented. “He is my brother! And you are his! You belong to Peter, not me!”
“What are you talking about?” While there was something very thrilling about his words, I felt like I had been slapped in the face. “You picked me out for Peter?”
“No, no, I had no choice in the matter. None of us did.” He looked away from me, but I could see his face breaking. “It’s the blood. Your blood, his blood.
They react to each other. I know you felt it. It’s why you get all crazy when you think about him. And it drives me crazy because it’s in my blood too.”
Everything that happened with Peter had felt so physical because it was.
There was a chemical reaction between us that I couldn’t explain. But then I had started thinking about it, and it was more than Jack could take, so he rushed past me and into the house.
“Mae!” Jack shouted when he got inside. Stupidly, I kept following him.
Part of him wanted me to, because so much of him still wanted me, and so much of me still wanted him. “Mae!”
“What?” Mae rushed into entryway, wrapping a bathrobe tightly around herself. Then she saw our pained expression, and her face went pale. “Jack, you didn’t.”
“Just get her away from me!” Jack snarled, and I saw there were tears in his eyes.
“Just go upstairs,” Mae nodded. “I’ll take care of her.”
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled through my own tears, but Jack was already gone.
“Did he bite you?” Mae rushed over to me, inspecting my neck much the same way Jack had the day before.
“No,” I shook my head fiercely. There was a loud banging upstairs, and Mae looked apprehensively at the ceiling.
“Come on. We need to get you out of here.” She put her arm around me and started ushering me out to the garage.
“You’re wearing a bathrobe,” I pointed out.
“He can’t take much more, love,” Mae whispered. The Jetta was still running, so we got inside of it and pulled out of the garage.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated.
“Oh, love, its really not your fault,” Mae smiled reassuringly at me. “Jack should know better, but he’s still so young.” She reached over and stroked my hair. “Its really not so bad. Honest.”
“I feel what he feels,” I said quietly. “I know how hard that was for him. I felt how much he wanted me, so … I wanted him to and I was making it harder.”
“You what?” Mae looked at me with a startled expression on her face.
“You feel what he feels?”