“It doesn’t matter if it is or not if that’s the way it is,” Mae replied matter-offactly and looked straight ahead.
“He told me that I’m meant for Peter.”
“I thought he might,” Mae sighed. Then she smiled at me again. “You would’ve found out eventually. We just didn’t want to surprise you with too much new information, especially with Peter being the way he is.”
“If I’m supposed to be for Peter, then how come Jack is the one that wants me around?” I asked. “And why didn’t Peter just bite me? Why did he run away?”
“Peter is a very complicated man, but he’s a good man.” She swallowed hard, and I could tell there was something she was still keeping from me. “And Jack is very young. And they may not seem like it lately, but they were very close to each other.”
“Would Peter really kill him if he found out Jack bit me?”
“Yes.” She licked her lips and refused to look at me. “And he would know.
It’s not something you can hide. He could smell Jack on you.” Then she turned to look at me. “So if something happened, I need to know, so I can try to protect you both.”
“What do you mean? Us both? Peter would kill us both?” For the first time since meeting Jack, I felt really scared for my safety and his. “I don’t understand. If I am meant for Peter…. None of this makes sense, Mae!”
“As soon as I drop you off, I’m going to call Ezra and make him come home to sort this all out.” Her eyes filled with tears and she gripped the steering wheel. “I should’ve never left you alone with Jack. He’s just been alone with you so much, but I knew things were changing.”
“He didn’t bite me. Honest,” I tried to reassure her.
“Everything’s still getting out of control. I told Ezra not to go. That everything is different this time.”
“This time?” I asked.
“Not right now, Alice.” The car suddenly jerked to a stop, and I realized we were in front of my building. I had been so wrapped up in my thoughts that I hadn’t even noticed it. “You need to go home, and Ezra or Jack or somebody will be in contact with you tomorrow.”
“How did you know where I lived?” I looked over at Mae, but she just started straight ahead.
“I have to get home and take care of Jack before he hurts himself.”
“He might hurt himself?” I gasped.
“I have to go!” Mae pleaded. “We’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay, go!” I jumped out of the car and watched her speed off, praying Jack wouldn’t do something stupid. Everything about me felt so confused and jumbled, and I collapsed onto the cold sidewalk and sobbed. Somehow, I was destroying a family of vampires.
One hot bath, two pm Tylenol, and a hot tea and brandy (courtesy of Milo and my mother’s alcohol cabinet) later, I managed to fall asleep. Milo saw the wreck I was when I came home, and I promised him that I would tell him another day, but I couldn’t muster the strength to do it then. When I woke up, my pillow was soaked, and I knew I had been crying in my sleep. Milo informed me that I’d been moaning all night long, but thankfully, he couldn’t understand anything.
I stumbled around the house most of the day, and I’m surprised that I didn’t bump into any objects. Milo forced me to eat, but swallowing felt like a massive chore. I put on comfy sweats and a tee shirt and didn’t even bother with showering. It would be too much work, and I didn’t even know if I’d see Jack or Peter today. There was a very good chance that I’d never see either of them again. Peter had run away, and Jack…
“Alice, I don’t think you should go over there anymore.” Milo stood next to the couch, frowning at me. I had curled up in a ball, and I stared blankly at the TV with my phone gripped in my hand. “You keep coming home looking completely drained. I don’t know what they’re doing to you, but it can’t be good.”
“You should see what I do to them,” I mumbled.
“What?” His soft brown eyes were filled with concern, so I just looked away from him.
“Nothing.”
“Alice, I’m serious.” Milo had that parental vibe going on, and normally, I’d cave under it, but I was too numb to react to anything. I just pulled the blanket up over my head so I wouldn’t have to look at him.
“Just leave me alone!” I said as forcefully as I could.
Eventually, he walked away, and I stayed buried underneath the covers.
The horrible truth was that I didn’t really want to be alive anymore. Last night had devastated me too succinctly. Everything was confusing and it hurt, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was all some kind of bad dream. Then, my phone played “Time Warp” and my eyes snapped open.
Ezra’s back. He’ll be there to pick you up in fifteen minutes.
Why not you? Are you okay? Is everything alright? I demanded, feeling my heart race painfully.
I can’t be alone with you. I’m fine. Ezra will explain more. I’ll see you soon.
Jack messaged me back, but somehow, I still felt relieved. I had been anxious to have a car ride alone with him so I could talk to him more, but he was right. It was probably safer for both of us if that didn’t happen.
“You’re not going over there!” Milo watched me as I pulled on my Famous Stars and Straps zippered hoodie, the one I had worn the night Jack had been attacked by that dog.
“Yeah, I am,” I replied flatly, searching around for my shoes.
“Dressed like that?” Milo asked in disbelief.
“Yeah.” Finally, I found my shoes and slipped them on. “Things have changed. I don’t need to impress them anymore.”
“Are you like breaking up with them or something?”
“I don’t know.” I hadn’t really thought about me not choosing to see them, but as soon as I did, I dismissed it. It would be impossible for me to ever end things with them. I was inexorably tied to Peter, and I’d probably fallen in love with Jack.
“We have school tomorrow!” Milo called as I opened the door.
“I don’t care,” I said and then left.
Ezra didn’t drive quite as fast as Jack, or maybe he felt it was more polite to actually give me time to get ready. Either way, I beat him outside. I sat on the curb, shivering in the cold, and trying not to envision the worst, when he finally pulled up in the Lexus. I had never been in the car, but I recognized it instantly from the garage.
“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long,” Ezra smiled warmly at me when I got inside. He saw me shiver, so he turned up the heat. “Let me know when it gets warm enough for you. We don’t really feel the cold the way you do.”
“Okay.” The seat felt warm and comfortable, especially after freezing on the curb, and I sunk deeper into it.
“How are you doing?” Ezra asked sincerely, and I tried to answer him as honestly as I could.
“I’m… absorbing a lot of things. Is Jack okay?”
“Yeah, he’s fine,” he nodded. “He just needed some time to get himself together.”
“Is he going to be okay being around me again?” There was a bitter catch22 that had been plaguing me. I didn’t want to be around Jack if it was going to torture him so much, but I couldn’t imagine not being around him either.
“Yes. Last night, there were a lot of emotions going for you both. It’s very new territory, for all of us really, and there’s going to be some missteps.” He spoke evenly, and his deep voice managed to soothe me in a way that had been lacking since I came home last night. “But you both will have to be more careful around each other. It should be easier now that you’re both aware of the limitations.”