“Why would you do that?” Mae whirled on me, and I’d finally regained enough strength to sit up. “Do you have any idea what that does to him? He can barely control himself around any blood, and yours is even worse. Do you both have a death wish?”
“It was an accident,” I mumbled.
“You need to shower and use a lot of mouth wash.” Mae held her hand to her face, looking distressed but sounding matter-of-fact. “If he even hints at smelling Jack on your blood…” Her eyes welled with frightened tears, and she shook her head. Then she pointed to the bedroom door and snapped, “Go! Right now! Go downstairs and use my shower! The longer it sets in, the harder it will be to get out!”
“Sorry.” I scrambled out of Jack’s bed, which was easier said then done since my ankle had become tangled in a mass of blankets. “Sorry.” As I stumbled down the stairs, I heard Mae yelling at him.
“How can you be so careless with her life? With your own?” Mae admonished him. “She’s only a girl, Jack! What were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t!” Jack lamented.
“I know how hard this is for you-”
“You have no idea how hard this is for me!” Jack growled fiercely, and I winced.
By kissing him, I had only made it harder. It was impossible for him to ever be with me, unless we wanted our life expectancy reduced down to a matter of hours. Still, that kiss had hinted at how amazing those hours would be, and maybe it would be worth it…
I shook the thought from my head and hurried into Mae’s bathroom.
Immediately, I opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out the Listerine. The alcohol burned my lip, but I used it until it went numb. When I put it back, I slammed the mirror shut and noticed my reflection for the first time. I had started crying, and I hadn’t even known it. That didn’t really seem so strange.
After all, I was sobbing because a vampire had just tasted my blood, and now we both might die because of it. Nothing really seemed that strange anymore, although everything had gotten increasingly painful.
After a shower so long and intense that my skin came out red and raw, Mae decided that it was time that she sat down and had a long talk with me.
Reluctantly, she admitted that she didn’t understand what Jack and I had gone through because she’d only been turned for six months when she met Ezra, and they had been together ever since. There was obviously something very different going on with us, but as long as Peter felt a claim to me, I couldn’t do anything with Jack, or I was risking both of our lives.
Jack and I would have to find a way to be friends without ever being caught up in any moments, and that would probably be easy if I didn’t do anything stupid like, say, bite my lip so he’s attracted to my blood. I ended up staying most of the night over there anyway. There was no way I could sleep after that, so we decided to pretend like nothing had happened. Jack put in The Crow and The Dark Knight, and I curled up on the couch with Mae. He sat on the floor on the far other side of the room with Matilda because that seemed safest.
Even with everything that had happened, Mae astoundingly let Jack drive me home. She had decided not to tell Ezra about the “incident” so we’d have to go on like normal, and that meant that we’d have to get used to being around each other without being stupid. When the sky started to lighten, I finally agreed to go home.
“This is my favorite time of day,” Jack mused, looking at the windows of the Lamborghini as we sped way from his house and towards mine. “The sky is just so pretty right before it changes.”
“It reminds me of a dream,” I agreed somberly. “So… I’m really sorry about what happened earlier.”
“Don’t be. That was my fault. I have to learn how to control my impulses.
You might not believe this, but that’s something that I struggle with,” Jack laughed dryly.
“I bit my lip.” I had done it on purpose, whether I was ready to admit it to myself or not. He wanted me to, and I could feel that the same way I could feel my own heartbeat. I had made the choice to do it, knowing exactly what it would lead to. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay.” He paused for a moment before adding, “You taste really good.”
“We’re not talking about that. We’re not even thinking about it,” I corrected him.
“I’m not. I wasn’t. I was just making conversation.” That’s what he said, but I could feel the hunger ebbing when I stopped him.
“Well, we can’t talk like that. We can talk about anything but blood or biting or sex.”
“Sure, take out all the fun things,” Jack grumbled.
“It’s for your safety as well as mine.” I shot him a warning look, and he stiffened a little
“Okay. You’re right. Sorry.”
“Do you think maybe we should stop hanging out?” I didn’t want to, not even slightly, but it would be the safest way to avoid anything.
If being around each other would lead to our probable death, then let’s just not be around each other. I had spent over seventeen years without him, and he had spent almost half a century. We could just as easily go back to our lives the way they were before we met, which I would probably end up doing anyway since Peter refused to have anything to do with me.
“No,” Jack answered too quickly. He let out a deep breath, then looked nervously at me. “Why? Do you?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I still want to hang out with you but…” I admitted softly.
My answer hurt him, and at times like that, I hated that I could feel anything he felt. When we had been making out upstairs, it had been amazing, but these situations were murder. His emotions were always so raw and intense.
He had very little self-control when it came to the way he felt.
“Honestly, I don’t know if I could stop even if I wanted to,” Jack said finally. The sky glowed oddly blue-gray as the sun neared the horizon, and the color seemed to match perfectly with Jack’s eyes as he looked over at me.
“Yeah, me neither,” I agreed and forced a smile at him.
For good or bad, there would be no way I could ever back to my life before. If it meant that I had to die trying to live this one, then so be it. But who can really go back to studying for history exams and flirting with drunk guys at a party when there are vampires and the ecstasy that goes along with bloodlust?
Could anyone really shut the door on immortality?
When he dropped me in front of my house, he smiled grimly, and promised that he’d talk to me later on. As I rode up the elevator to my apartment, I had to believe that everything would work out, one way or another.
Ezra was insanely smart, and he’d been around forever. There had to be something that he could figure out that didn’t involve anyone dying. Well, at least not Peter, Jack, or me. They were vampires, after all. No matter how much they tried to convince me otherwise, I knew that there had to be a rather high mortality rate for the humans in their lives.
It wasn’t until I opened the door to the apartment that it really occurred to me what time it was. Milo was dressed and ready for school, but he looked relieved to see me. His happiness was short-lived when my mother cleared her throat loudly, and he grimaced. Sitting in the darkened corner of the living room, she reminded me of some kind of James Bond villain. The dim light from the window hit the cloud of smoke above her head, and a light from the kitchen touched only her slippered feet, leaving the rest of her to hide in the shadows. If she had been stroking a large white cat and spoke in a German accent, she’d be perfect.
“Well, well, nice of you to drop by,” Mom greeted me acidly.
“You’re welcome,” I muttered unsurely, despite the look Milo was giving me that was all but screaming at me not mess with her.
“Where were you all night?” Her tone had gotten even harder, dropping any pretenses of her being even mildly happy to see me.
Milo had to be pretty upset that I wasn’t around, especially since he’d had to deal with Mom first thing in the morning, but even he’d been relieved to see that I was still alive. (And there was becoming a very real threat that I wouldn’t be for much longer.)
“Why didn’t you answer any of my texts?” Milo blurted out, giving me a meaningful look. I’m sure he’d been texting me since he woke up this morning, and then warning me of Mom’s impending tirade as soon as she got home.
“Sorry. My phone was on silent.” I was with Jack, Peter was away on business, and Milo was at home in bed. As far as I was concerned, there was no one else worth keeping my phone on for.
“That doesn’t tell me where you were!” Mom snapped.
The sun had finally managed to peak over the building next door, and light glinted in through the window, revealing the furious expression on her face. She took a long drag from the cigarette, waiting for an answer good enough to explain where I had been until after seven in the morning on a school night.