I shudder. How awful. "Don't you hate it when they leave you? Don't you feel left behind?"
He shakes his head. "I'm meant to be here."
"Very philosophical," I say and touch my head where the bump is. It still hurts. I wonder if Betty's told my mom about it.
His eyes seem concerned. "No, just the truth."
It's pretty obvious that he's all through with that subject. But I continue on, because I hate it that we're so different.
"It must be nice to know where you're meant to be," I say.
"You'll know someday, Zara."
I shrug.
"I doubt it." I've always had friends, but I've never felt like I fit with the rest of the world. My mom said that it was a normal adolescent thing to feel. I hated her for saying that. I just pounded right out of the room and went running down at the Battery.
"I don't think I'll ever find a place," I say slowly, turning back to stare at my collage instead of Nick. I have to stop staring at him all the time. "I'm just not a person who fits in. That's okay."
"I'm positive you will."
"Really?"
"Absolutely sure."
He motions to the glue brush. "Can I have some?"
I start to grab it so I can it pass it to him. He reaches for it at the same time. Our fingers touch, and the moment they do the fluorescent lights overhead flicker and then fizzle out.
Everyone moans, even though we can all still see. There's enough light from outside filtering in, just not enough for us to really focus on the finer details.
Nick's fingers stroke mine lightly, so lightly that I'm almost not sure the touch is real. My insides flicker like the art room lights. They do not, however, fizzle. I turn my head to look him in the eye.
He leans over and whispers, "It will be hard to be just your friend."
The lights come back on.
"Just a little brownout." The art teacher smiles and holds out her arms. "Welcome to Maine, Zara. Land of a million power failures."
Nick's breath touches my ear. "I heard you didn't drive to school. I'll bring you home after crosscountry, okay?"
"Okay," I say, trying to be all calm, but what I really want to do is leap up and do a happy dance all over the art room. Nick is driving me home.
Devyn is waiting for us outside art class.
"What?" Nick says. His face changes into worry. "Issie okay?"
"Yeah," Devyn says, motioning us to follow him. "I found something."
He brings us to a little cubby in the hallway, a place just off the main hall. There's a red door to a supply closet and another to an electrical room. We all barely fit in the nook. Nick squats down to Devyn's level. So do I.
"Okay," Devyn says. "It's not good."
"Just tell us."
"They kiss people," Devyn says.
I laugh. "Who kisses people?"
"The pixies," Devyn explains. He lifts the book from the library. "This is serious, Zara."
"Sorry. Okay. They kiss people," I repeat. I look up at Nick, who has never kissed a girl.
Devyn must notice me looking at Nick's lips because his voice frustrates out, "This is not a good kind of kiss. This is bad. It can kill you."
"Powerful kiss," I say.
"Zara…," Nick warns.
I raise my hands again, leaning my back against the wall for support. "Sorry."
Devyn points at me. "No more interrupting and no more attempting to hide your fear behind pathetic attempts at sarcasm, although I do appreciate it. Anyway, the kiss gives the pixie king some of the power over the woman's soul. And it changes her into a pixie."
"Which means?" Nick asks.
"I'm not sure," Devyn continues. "But if she's all human and has no pixie blood it can kill her."
"Wait," I say. "So, the pixie guy kisses some woman. She either dies or becomes the queen. Either way part of her soul becomes his?"
"Yeah."
"That sucks," I say. "And you saidif she's all human? What else could she be?"
Devyn shrugs. "She could already have pixie blood. According to this book there are a lot of people who are descended from the Pixies. Or…," he looks up at Nick and then says it, "she could be were."
"Weres again? Werewolves?" I shake my head and stand up. My bracelet slides down my arm. "This is crazy."
"Zara?" Nick stands up too. He grabs my hand. "You already believe half of it."
"I know! But kisses that take away your soul? Pixie blood? Weres? It's crazy." I grab the book off Devyn's lap and walk away. "It's way too crazy for me."
Malaxophobia fear of love play Nick and I leave practice early because my head is still spinning from clanking it and maybe, just a little, from the pow-wow with Devyn by the electrical closet.
"I can bring her home," Ian says when he sees Nick leading me off the trail.
Nick raises his arm. "Nope. I got this one."