“That doesn’t make it right. You know I wouldn’t abandon my pack unless I had to,” I said quietly. “Unless it was the only way to help them.”
His eyes met mine, strained and uncertain.
“We don’t have much time,” I said. “How did you get ahead of the others?”
He glanced in the direction from which we’d come. “There was an uproar when they found Flynn’s body, but I caught your scent and took off. The rest of them were still regrouping. My father’s pack. The elder Banes.”
He tensed and cold flooded my limbs.
“What about the Nightshades?” I asked.
“They’re being held for questioning.”
He caught me just as my muscles went limp and I collapsed. Images too hideous to face began to flash through my mind. My pack. My brother. Wraiths.
My stomach turned over and I thought I would vomit.
Ren’s strong arms supported me while I sought the strength that had fled my body.
“What do they know, Calla?” he whispered.
“Nothing,” I said. “None of them know who Shay is or what I’ve learned. I didn’t want to endanger them . . .”
I shook away the horrible thoughts. “If anything happens to them now, it’s my fault. You have to help them. You’re the only one who can.”
“No. If you’re in trouble, I’ll help. I’ll go with you.” He gritted his teeth. “Even if that means protecting Shay.”
“You can’t go with me,” I argued. “I need you to go back. Create a diversion to buy us some time. Please, Ren.”
He sucked in a sharp breath and stared at me. I held his gaze, forcing strength into my voice.
“I need you to do this. Tell them we fought and you injured me badly enough that I ran, but Shay wasn’t with me, that I was leading you on a false trail.
He’s who they want; they’ll follow you if you take them in another direction.”
The words were as difficult for me to say as I could see they were for Ren to hear.
His eyes were sad but resigned. “And where will you go?”
I couldn’t keep the fear out of my reply. “I don’t know.”
“Please don’t do this,” he whispered. “Come back with me. We’ll talk to Logan; there has to be an explanation. The Keepers need us; we’re the alphas.
We’ll figure this out. They won’t hurt you. I won’t let them.”
“It won’t matter that I’m an alpha.” I drew a sharp breath. “Ren, listen to me. This isn’t just about Shay; there’s more. You have to know the truth. It wasn’t the Searchers who killed your mother; it was the Keepers.”
He stared at me.
“We found records at Rowan Estate, the history of the Vail packs,” I continued. “Your mother allied with the Searchers and led a Guardian revolt when you were an infant. She was executed because of it.”
“That’s impossible,” he whispered.
“It’s the truth,” I said. “I read it myself. The Keepers killed your mother. I’m so sorry.”
“No. It’s not true.” He closed his eyes, shaking his head. “It can’t be.”
“Help me. Please.”
Far in the distance a howl sounded, then another. I shuddered.
“I’m out of time,” I said. “What are you going to do?”
His eyes opened slowly. He lifted his hand and touched my cheek. “I’ll do what you want.”
“I owe you my life.” I turned my face, kissing his palm. “Tell them we fought but that Shay wasn’t here. He doesn’t have a human scent now. They wouldn’t know to track him when he smells like a wolf.”
“Tell me you’ll come back for the pack. For me.” His eyes were bright with tears. “I don’t want to lose you.”
I couldn’t speak. Tears welled in my eyes and I stepped away from him. But Ren caught me in his arms.
“Do you love him?” His eyes searched mine.
“Don’t ask me that,” I said, lips still burning from my confession to Shay, now stinging with this deceit. “This isn’t about love. It’s about survival.”
“No, Calla.” His voice became hushed. “This is only about love.”
And then he was kissing me. His lips moved over mine in a slow caress, hands running over my body, every touch begging me to stay. I could tell he believed he would never kiss me again. Part of me wanted to linger, clinging to him, knowing all the ways we were meant for each other, how well we fit.
But another part tugged me away, already running through the forest, chasing after a fate unknown. I choked back a sob when Ren released me and turned away.
The charcoal gray wolf paused and looked back once more before disappearing into the trees. I picked up Shay’s trail and plunged through the snow.
From behind me, I heard the lone cry of a wolf. The howl echoed as it rose toward the full moon, a sound full of agony and irreparable loss.
THIRTY-FOUR
SHAY WAS RUNNING THROUGH THE GARDENS of Rowan Estate by the time I caught him.
I nipped at his heel. You’re fast. I’m impressed.
An arc of shimmering snow crested around him when he skidded to a halt and whirled to face me. Are you all right?
I’m fine. I darted past him. Don’t stop running, we need to hurry.
What happened with Ren? He kept pace beside me.