"You needn't be." She brought her legs up and knelt on the sofa, eyes bright. "I'm an old woman, Capac. You made me realize that. I've wasted my life hiding from the truth, fighting my body, slave to my face. I became a young Conchita Kubekik again, when I should have fought harder and been Conchita Dorak. It's almost too late, but not quite. I've still got time.
"I'm leaving," she said. "In a couple of weeks I'll pack my bags, dismiss the help and go. I've always wanted to see the world. I've been tied to this city by an ugly umbilical cord of my own making. Now I'm going to chew it up and spit it out. I'm through standing still. I'll go on long cruises, explore exotic countries, take a harem of young lovers. I don't know how much life there's left in these dry old bones, but I'll make good use of it. I'm going to live and have fun!
"Come with me." The light in her eyes was intense, hypnotic. She was doing everything she could to save me. "Leave Ferdy, the gangsters, the hurt, the death. Be my companion, my son, my husband, my friend."
I held her hands softly, saying nothing, and slowly shook my head. "I can't. I'm glad you're escaping. Maybe I can too one day. But I can't turn my back on it yet. Find somebody good to love, without my dark desires. I'd only be a link to the past. I'd destroy you all over again. I wouldn't want to but that's how I am."
"I know." Her head sagged. "I asked anyway, hoping, but I knew." She looked up. "He'll kill you, Capac. Ferdy will ruin you. You can't beat The Cardinal."
"You're probably right," I sighed. "But this is where I'm meant to be. I can't explain it, but there's something about this city, not just The Cardinal, and it's made me its own. I'd be lost anywhere else."
She freed her hands. "So alike, you and Ferdy. He was fiercer, less refined, less thoughtful. But he knew what he wanted and the price he must pay. You do too."
"What price, Conchita?"
"You know," she said.
"I don't. Tell me."
"Your life," she said, glancing away.
"I'll lose that anyway in the end. What else?"
"Your friends."
"I've already lost most of them. What else?"
"Your dreams will sour and leave you embittered."
"Most dreams do. What's the price, Conchita? What do I have to lose that's so terrible? Tell me."
She finally looked back and said it. "Your humanity."
I couldn't reply to that. I just sat and stared and tried to convince myself that she was wrong.
I took every precaution I could when returning to the mall. I changed cabs five times. Walked a couple of miles along the most crowded streets I could find. Even called into a men's store and changed my clothes. When I'd done all in my power, I crossed my fingers and made my way back.
The phone rang on the dot. "Any sign of a tail?" I asked, not bothering with preliminaries.
"No."
"You sound sure."
"I went out to the country," she told me. "It's open roads and uninterrupted views for miles around. Nobody could have followed unobserved. I came back by a different route. I'm safe."
"I'm not so certain, but I think I made it unnoticed. No sign of Wami anyway."
"What are we going to do?" she asked.
"I'm going after him," I told her.
"Wami?"
"Yes."
"Are you crazy?"
"I have to. If he killed Adrian and the other Ayuamarcans, he's the only one apart from The Cardinal who can tell us anything. If I can talk to him, strike some kind of a deal, maybe he'll talk. It's worth a shot."
"You know where he is?"
"No. But I can find out."
"I'm coming with you."
"That would be stupid."
"We're safer together," she disagreed. "We can watch each other's backs. I don't want to be alone, not with a killer like Wami in the game."
I hesitated. "I don't want to put you in any more danger than I have to."
"Who broke into Party Central?" she snorted. "I'm not a kid, Capac."
She was right. This was her business too. She was in this as deep as me and had done as much-more-as I had to deal with it. "Meet me in Belle Square, half an hour from now," I said. "There's a beer garden near the south side. I'll be behind it. Bring your bike."
She was there on time and we took off with barely a word to each other. "Where are we going?" she asked over her shoulder.
"Hmm?" I was feeling her waist, remembering her exciting flesh. She slapped my fingers and repeated the question. "I don't know. Somewhere in the east. Keep going. Hopefully I'll remember the directions along the way."
We twisted and turned through the convoluted east of the city for hours. I tried recalling the route Adrian had taken but my memory wasn't that good. In the end we stopped and asked for directions. The people were slow to respond, but finally we found one who knew the old man and was prepared to talk for a price.
He was out on the porch when we pulled up, rocking in his chair, watching the world. He glanced at us with interest as we dismounted and approached.
"Hello, Fabio," I greeted him.
"Howdy right back," he said. "It's… don't tell me… Capac Raimi! Right?"
"The one and only."
"Heh. Old Fabio don't forget much. Don't know your pretty girl though."
"Ama Situwa," she introduced herself, leaning forward to shake his hand.
He nodded, filing the name away. "Nice to know ya. You attached to this guy or are you independent?"
"She's attached," I told him, smiling. Then I dived straight in. "You recall what I came about before?"