"I don't know," I sighed. "I think I can but how can I say for sure?"
"You can't," he said. "You have to gamble and trust in your instinct."
"But will it work?" I asked. "What happens to the Ayuamarcans when you die? Can any of us survive your passing?"
"I don't think the others can. Maybe they'll go on to live full, normal lives, dying of natural causes when their time is up. But I doubt it. I think they'll vanish the instant my heart stops."
"Then what makes you think I'm any different? Surely I'll zip out of existence like the rest of them."
"Maybe. But when I made you, I stressed that not even my death should halt you. I don't know if I can thwart death in this way but I think your chances are good. Not great but better than average. Look at Conchita. Paucar Wami. How your body healed after our fight. I am able to pervert the laws of nature. If I can go that far, breaking so many natural rules, why not further? We won't know for sure until the day arrives-and I'm not planning to shuffle off this mortal coil for quite a while yet-but the precedents allow us to be optimistic."
I thought about it some more. I didn't have to-I'd reached my decision halfway through his last speech, as suddenly as I'd decided to kill Dee-but it would be unwise to jump the gun when the stakes were so high. When I was certain that nothing would alter my mind, I spoke.
"I'll run your empire for you, Mr. Dorak," I said slowly and deliberately. "I'll be your successor, the new Cardinal, and do everything in my power to carry your dream on, to one day rule all and become, as it were, The Pope." His face lit up and he began to rise. "But there's a price," I added, and his smile faded. "I'm not prepared to wait. I've moved fast, pole-vaulted all between myself and the top. I'm not about to ease up now. If you want me to take over, you'll have to relinquish control immediately. I won't be second to anybody, not any longer."
He frowned, then shrugged and tried to make little of it. "If thatis what you wish, I will grant it. But why ignore my knowledge, experience and wisdom when you can benefit from them and milk me for all I'm worth? You have so much to learn. Wouldn't it be better to keep me around, if only as a-"
"You don't understand," I said. I rose and crossed to the edge of the building, no longer feeling the wind. I stood looking down at the city for a minute, my city, seeing it through new eyes, feeling it beat with my heart, sensing the links which existed between us. Sighing happily, I returned to my chair and sank into it. "I want everything. The power, the city, the dream, the future. And freedom."
"But you are-"
"Please don't interrupt when I'm speaking." He stared at me with eyes the size of runny eggs. "I'll be your heir, but on my terms. I'm not prepared to play your game any longer. I won't wait for you to die and live every day worrying about your health, making plans for a future which may never come. I have to know for sure. If your experiment succeeds, I'll take control today. If it fails, and I pass from this world when you die, that will also be today.
"I came to this office thinking it was the end. And it is. Perhaps for both of us, but definitely for one." I steepled my fingers, lowered my head behind them and shot him a sly smile straight from his own repertoire. "The edge of the roof is that way, Mr. Dorak."
He began to laugh. Stopped. Looked at my fingers, then at his own, which were spread limply on his knees. The baton of power had passed and his reign was over. Decades of hard work and planning undone in a matter of seconds. "You can't be serious," he croaked.
"It's the price," I said. "I flourish or die. You can either accept that and jump or unmake me and start anew with another Inti Maimi or Capac Raimi. Choose."
"What about Ama?" he whined. "Conchita. Leonora. They'll die too. Come, Mr. Raimi-Capac. You need me. You need all of us. If I jump, taking my creations with me, all you'll be left with is Ford Tasso and the other ordinary people. I can make soldiers for you, politicians, men who can work to advance your cause while I'm alive. I can be of use even if you don't want me around. I'm the goose that lays the golden eggs. Why sacrifice me so cheaply? You'd kill Ama and Conchita just for peace of mind? Please reconsider, I beg you."
I closed my eyes and pictured Ama, Conchita and Leonora. The three women in my life-lover, sister, mother. I thought of all the times Leonora had helped me, her priceless words of advice, her tips on how to handle The Cardinal, her kindness and generosity. But ultimately she was The Cardinal's woman, not mine.
Dear Conchita. I'd brought her out of her madness. She was starting a new life and deserved time to live a bit, laugh a little. It wouldn't be fair to take that away, to whip the rug out from under her just as she was learning to walk. But Conchita was finished. As soon as sheleft the city, an invisible timer would start its grim countdown. One week and the world would do her in, regardless of the decision I made tonight.
And Ama, the love of my life. Without her I'd never have come so far so quickly. I'd acted faster than The Cardinal planned, just as I was moving too swiftly for him now, and it was largely because of her. She was all I wanted in a woman, the one person who could truly mean anything to me. Demanding The Cardinal's death-and thus Ama's-was stupid, destructive and cruel. Only a monster would do it.
"Come here, Mr. Tasso," The Cardinal called loudly, out of the blue.
I glanced up, confused. From the other side of the steel structure, Ford Tasso emerged with a bound and gagged Ama Situwa in tow. I leaped to my feet but sat again at a gesture from The Cardinal. He was smiling now. "Remove the gag, Mr. Tasso."
Ford freed the strip of cloth from her mouth and Ama immediately roared at me. "Capac! What the fuck are you doing here? Why did you come back?"
"How did she get here?" I asked quietly.
"Of her own free will, I assure you," The Cardinal said. "Miss Situwa has always been a strong-minded lady. She came after your phone call this morning. I'm not sure why. What were you after, Miss Situwa?"
"Fuck you," she snarled.
The Cardinal chuckled. "I told Mr. Tasso to fetch her when we went to see our friends downstairs. She was to be my gift to you, a sign of my goodwill. Untie her, Mr. Tasso." While Ford loosened the knots, The Cardinal said, "She is yours if you wish, Mr. Raimi. Let me live my life. Learn by my side. Walk before you run. And you can have her. You don't need to face this on your own."
"How much does she know?" I asked softly.
"Nothing. They could not hear us talking from where they were."
"Capac?" Ama started toward us, then paused when she saw my eyes. "What's wrong? You look… What happened? What has he done to you?"
I stared at her frightened face and considered her loving innocence. I studied The Cardinal and thought of the warped way he'd treated me. Finally I looked inside myself and found something even fouler than Ferdinand Dorak.
"Ama," I whispered painfully. "I'm sorry. If I… You could remake her!" I shouted suddenly, springing on the idea. "Erase her, then bring her back, only this time make her like me-eternal."
"Capac? What's going on?" Ama was bewildered.
The Cardinal shook his head. "It would be too dangerous. One man might make it through eternity, alone, focused, outliving and thus defeating his enemies. But if I gave you an eternal partner and she turned against you? No. I will not risk my empire that way. Besides, it couldn't be done. I could create another, but not the same, not Ama." He stood and clasped my shoulders as the blind priests had. "You're torturing yourself needlessly. There's no reason for me to die now, for Ama or Conchita to suffer. Time is on your side, Mr. Raimi. Don't waste it."
I hung my head, looked within and saw what I had to do. My cheeks were wet. Raising my fingers, I discovered I was crying. Ama was still hovering, not sure what she'd wandered into, knowing I was different but not knowing how. She could be mine. We could have many wondrous days and nights together. We could explore and learn more of each other. So much to discover. So many possibilities.
But- no. If I had a future, it was cold. That was the one thing I knew for certain. The man The Cardinal had designed-the man I'd become-had no place for warmth or love, not any longer.
"Why did you come tonight?" I asked Ama.
"You sounded strange on the phone," she said. "I wanted to find out what was going on. I thought The Cardinal might know where you'd gone."
"You wanted to track me down?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because I love you, stupid," she said, smiling foolishly.
"Even after I told you what I did?"
Her face hardened stubbornly. "I'm sure you had no choice. I have faith in you, Capac. Whatever you did, I'm certain it had to be done."
I looked away from Ama and locked eyes with The Cardinal. "She'll accept me no matter what I do, won't she?" I asked, and he nodded in reply. "Regardless of how low I sink, she'll stick by my side and love me. She'd kill for me if I asked her or if she felt it was necessary."
"She's your woman," The Cardinal said.
I shook my head slowly. "No. I'm many things but not a slave master. Not yet. I don't want her." The words almost tore me apart but I forced them out. "I love her. I need her. But I don't want her seeing what I've become. I don't want her by my side, watching me change. I don't want her aligning her soul with mine. If I'm to be damned, I'll be damned alone.
"I want you out of here," I told him. "Now."
The Cardinal nodded grimly. "We're so alike, Mr. Raimi. I would have made that decision also, were I in your shoes. You'll suffer for it, more than you know. I've had but a few decades and already I'm tired, worn, on the verge of madness. I'm not sure you'll be able to deal with an eternity of cruelty. I wish you well, though."
He walked to the edge and paused, staring down on his city for the final time. As he hovered on the brink, the door to the roof burst open and a dark figure raced toward us. It was Paucar Wami. "Stop!" he roared, training his gun on The Cardinal. For the first time the killer looked scared, uncertain. In learning of his inhumanity, he had finally realized what it was to be human. He wasn't the master he'd believed, only a puppet, one about to have its strings severed. "One more step and I shoot."