"I'm not jumping through any window," Remo said. "It's eleven in the morning. Is the place on fire?"
"Worse. The biggest, ugliest man I ever saw is headed for your office. He's got giant hands. He's the one who was always seen around here when the other professors were killed."
"It's eleven o'clock in the morning," said Remo. "Tell them to come back at three maybe. I've got all these papers to read."
"You know there have been five professors in your discipline killed in the last three years? Do you know that? Do you know that a giant of a man with giant hands was seen at everyone's death? He's coming for you, don't you understand? And he's got a friend, and I think the friend has got a gun. Jump. You can't get out by the hallway. They're already there."
"Listen," said Remo. "You wouldn't know how I could get a lot of papers read and television news shows watched, would you?"
"You're going to be dead in minutes." 63
"No, no. Calm down. Look, do you know of people we can hire to read newspapers?"
"You don't need people. There's a computer system, but you've got to be alive to use it. Please. I don't want to see someone killed again. Please, jump."
"So you can rig up a computer to do it," said Remo. With a roar, the door to the lab cracked off its hinges and two men entered, one of them enormous with giant hands.
The smaller man waited for the two scientists to flee in desperate panic. Dice always loved it when Bubba entered a room by pushing a door in. You could see the desperate panic in the room. You could do just about anything to anyone in the room after Bubba entered.
A real old yellow-faced gook with, long fingernails was staring out the window. The young white one was on the telephone.
The older one didn't jump because he was probably deaf. But what about the white one? Dice had never seen people not jump when the door went flying into the room.
"Sweet Bubba, make Whitey jump," said Dice. "De arms or de legs?" asked Bubba. "Suit yourself. Make yourself at home on his body." Bubba saw the white man. Bubba would break the white man. Bubba moved on the white man. Bubba grabbed an arm of the white man. Big Bubba's hand enclosed the entire forearm. Big Bubba got ready to yank the arm out of its socket.
Bubba could do this sometimes if he had the right leverage and got a good yank. Usually, though, he would just damage the socket
Bubba yanked. The arm didn't move. The white man kept talking. Bubba yanked again. "What?" said Bubba in confusion. "Shhhhhh," said the white man. "I'm on the phone." "He doesn't believe in getting paid. He is worthless," said the yellow man.
"You next, Pops," said Dice. He thought Bubba 64
could snap the frail old man in the funny-looking yellow robe with just one blow. He had never seen Bubba do a one-blow kill. But the old Chink looked as if a good spit would do him in.
Dice decided to teach the old man some manners before Bubba finished him. He sauntered over to the old yellow man while Bubba was tugging on the white man's arm.
"Don't sass me," said Dice. "Don't ever sass me." He slapped the old face, but something strange happened. He felt only air. He slapped again. His hand didn't connect. He didn't even see the head move, but the wisp of a beard was quivering. Therefore the head had moved but so quickly he hadn't seen it. Unless, of course, he was imagining this.
"I do not kill for free," the old yellow man said.
He was talking to the white man. Dice turned. The white man should be dead by now. Dice saw a giant black hand flail at the sky. It grabbed a lamp and shattered it. It clutched onto a gray metal lab table and cracked it in two. It latched onto a chair, crushed it like a soft aluminum beer can, sending splinters flying around the room. Dice had to duck.
The other black hand was useless.
And Big Bubba was seated helplessly, his legs stretched out, his big head erect, held very tightly by a telephone receiver cord that had come around his neck and had stopped all the air from going into his lungs.
Bubba was being strangled with a telephone cord. In one hand the white man had one end and the other he held the end with the receiver. And he was talking into the receiver as he was strangling Big Bubba.
"No, nothing's wrong. What noise? Oh, a table or something. I don't know. Listen, can you really get me a computer to do all that newspaper reading and television watching? No, nothing's going on here. Stay to the point, please. You have such a computer program? That's definite? Right. Okay. Come in, say in ..."
The white man lifted the giant Bubba up by the cord and looked at the face.
65
"Come in, say, in four minutes. Don't worry about it, there's no problem here. Yes, they did come in. We're talking. They're very nice. Yes. Four minutes."
The white man hung up and waited. Bubba's eyes bulged out. His giant face contorted.
Dice smiled. He smiled very broadly. He had worn a white fedora with a red, white, and blue feather. He took off the hat. Dice understood how impolite wearing a hat indoors could be. Dice held the hat in front of himself. He heard his own feet do a shuffle. Good for you, feet, thought Dice. He bowed. The word sir flowed from his lips. The word flowed easily. Good for you, lips, thought Dice.
He smiled at the yellow man.
"I always like Chinamens, suh. Yessuh. I do like de Chinamens." Dice showed a lot of teeth when he said that.
"I am Korean, imbecile," said the old man.
"Yessuh, like dem Chinamens."
"Korea is not China. Koreans are not Chinese. Chinese are slothful."
"I like all dem Chinamens," said Dice, whose ears were not working that well. He was trying to like everyone living in the room. He was hoping to promote niceness as a way of life, now that Bubba was on his way out of this Ufe. Dice could not find it in him to exclude any group from his niceness.
"Koreans are different inasmuch as virtue is different from sin," said Chiun.
"I like all mens. All brothers. Yessuh. Koreans and Chinamens, dey be one," said Dice. His voice rang with sincerity. Good for you, voice, thought Dice.
And then everything was very dark. He did not see the hand move and flick at his spinal cord with just enough force to sever all motor responses.
He saw only darkness and felt a great floating away.
Good for you, floating away, thought Dice and then thought no more.
Remo looked at the big one who was inside the telephone cord. He had just expired.
66
"Did you kill that man?" said Remo. "We were supposed to save one. I wanted to save one."
"I did it free. You should be happy," said Chiun.
"If I knew you were going to kul yours, I would have saved mine," Remo said. "What if they don't send someone else? How are we going to find the source? You know you can't find out who sent someone unless they're living."
"I thought you liked killing for no tribute."
"You should have told me, that's all."
"He called me a Chinamen. Not once but four times."