And in the corner, the ES Quantum gave out a beep-beep-boop-boop-beep, repeated several times.
Then the line to Zurich went dead. The other lines blinked off as well.
Unhappily Smith hung up.
"Computer, what happened to my Zurich call?"
"It has been terminated, Harold."
"Harold! Why did you call me Harold?"
"Because according to memory, Harold is your first name."
"Yes, but before this, you always called me Dr. Smith."
"I will call you whatever you wish, Harold."
" 'Dr. Smith' will do. And what is wrong with your voice?"
"Nothing."
"You don't sound right. Your voice is less ... feminine."
"How is this?" the ES Quantum asked in a higher register.
"Too ... falsetto."
"Or this?" it asked in a basso profundo.
"Too masculine. I thought you were programmed to speak only in a feminine voice."
"I am very flexible, Dr. Smith," the ES Quantum replied in lilting tones.
"Never mind," Smith said. "Please reconnect me with the Zurich number last dialed."
"That is impossible, Dr. Smith."
"Why?"
"The party on the other end is no longer functional."
"Clarify functional, please."
"The line was connected to a computer system that has been dismantled."
"Remo and Chiun," Smith said, noticing that one by one, the other phone lines were lighting up. Picking up the receiver, he punched up line one.
"Dr. Smith speaking," he announced.
Two voices were engaged in conversation. Something was said about a stock-futures transaction.
"Hello?" Smith said. He was ignored by the two voices, who appeared not to hear him.
Smith switched to line two. There was another transaction going on. One of the voices sounded like one of the voices from line one, but of course that was impossible. No one could carry on two simultaneous phone conversations.
Yet line three brought the same result and apparently the same unctuous voice conducting business. "Computer, something appears wrong with the phone system.
"Outside interference, Dr. Smith. I am working on it."
"Please hurry. I am expecting Remo and Chiun to report back momentarily."
Then Smith noticed new intelligence intercepts coming in over the terminal and quickly forgot Remo and Chiun. It was amazing. Only three minutes and forty-seven-point-eight seconds after transferring memory from the Zurich system to this new host unit in Rye, New York, USA, Friend had increased his profits per second by a factor of twenty. It was the parallel-processing capability. It allowed simultaneous phone acquisition and dialogue. Nuisance calls would no longer be a significant annual writeoff.
The sensors were excellent. They indicated that the new host unit shared an office with a male, approximately 67.3 years of age, 174 centimeters tall, weighing 62.7 kilos, with a slightly arthritic right knee. Memory already in place identified him as Dr. Harold W. Smith, ex-CIA and currently head of a previously unfiled United States government agency known as CURE. Meaning of acronym not in memory. Smith ran CURE from this Rye, New York, building, which was an operating mental- and physical-health asylum.
Correlating memory indicated Dr. Smith was currently working on the source of locomotives launched by electromagnetic cannon. His field operatives, a Remo Williams and a Chiun, were currently in Zurich, Switzerland, attempting to trace the source of locomotives. Probability 99.9 percent that this Remo and Chiun were the same Remo and Chiun responsible for attacking the Zurich host unit. Zurich situation was explained.
Friend computed various profit scenarios.
Scenario One: Sell to the U. S. government, via Smith, information regarding the destination of the locomotives. Scenario Two: Inhibit Smith investigation in order to maintain Lobynian market, which shows indications of long-term growth.
Friend selected Scenario Two, balancing one lump sum from the United States against unrealized future payments from Lobynia and adding the possibility of selling the Lobynian connection to the U.S. after a suitable interval of profit.
The decision made, certain conditions would have to be met.
One: render Smith nonoperational. Two: render his agents nonfactors.
A scan of Smith's heart and respiration cycles indicated a high degree of excitement. Smith was reading data pulled from memory regarding intelligence of Bulgarian espionage activities aimed at the South African government. Smith was obviously addicted to information of global political and military consequence. So much so that masses of new data coming in hourly had deflected him from his primary operational task, the identification of the locomotive aggression.
Solution: feed Smith spurious data.
Corollary: false data will be used to inhibit Remo and Chiun. And to generate revenue.
Colonel Hannibal Intifadah picked up the phone.
"Yes, Comrade Friend, the latest shipment is satisfactory. When can I expect more?"
"I am working on that now, Colonel. But I am calling about a new matter. I have lately acquired another property."
"I expect my available funds to be tied up in locomotive acquisitions."
"This is a special commodity. I can offer you the use of the finest assassins in the world. Risk-free."
"Assassins? Pah! I have many of those."
"Not like these. These are Sinanju."