I had to do a lot of things I didn't want to do, didn't I? "I know. But I'm going to wait until tomorrow." "Then wait."
"I want to see you again. Promise me that you'll come back."
"I promise," he whispered.
I kissed him again, and hugged him against me. "So this is good night, not good-bye. Not yet, okay?"
He nodded. "Good night, not good-bye."
After another kiss, I handed him back his sweatshirt. Then I ran to my front door and disappeared inside.
The first thing I did when I woke up the next morning was look in the mirror to see if there was some sign of demon in me. But there was nothing. Other than looking exhausted from barely sleeping, I looked the same as I always had. Freckles and all.
"Nikki," my mother called out to me over her coffee and toast and the entertainment section of the newspaper. "Come have some breakfast."
I stopped at the table and looked at her-really looked at her for the first time in a long time. She wore her pink fuzzy housecoat and her long dark hair draped over her left shoulder.
How must it have felt to have the man you thought you were in love with just disappear without a trace, without even a good-bye first 7 I wanted to tell her everything, but I knew I couldn't. She wouldn't believe me, for one thing. She'd probably send me to the nearest shrink. And even if I could convince her it was all true, could I really tell her that the love of her life hadn't wanted to leave her in the first place? And that now he was dying? It would only bring her more pain. It was best to say nothing at all.
"Is there something wrong?" she asked at my prolonged silence.
I shook my head.
"I think I know what it is," she said, putting down her cup. "It's the dance tonight, isn't it?"
The dance. Right. I'd nearly forgotten about that. "You guessed it."
"You've barely told me anything at all about it. Are you going?"
"I… I don't know." I adjusted my backpack and glanced at the clock. I was already running late for school since I'd slept right through my alarm. "I was invited to go. This guy named Chris asked me. But I don't have anything to wear. I haven't had a chance to go to the mall."
She smiled at me. "If that's the problem then I suppose I could let you borrow my lavender dress."
Normally, I think borrowing your mother's clothes wouldn't be so cool, but the thing was-my mom had really great clothes. Clothes that I'd actually consider buying for myself if I had any money. And I knew the dress she was talking about. It was a designer dress-Versace-that she'd bought to go to a writers' banquet a few months ago. When she got it I remember running my hands over the beautiful silky fabric and wishing I'd have the chance to wear something like it someday.
"Thanks, Mom." I went over to her and hugged her harder than she probably expected.
She looked up at me curiously. "Are you sure nothing's wrong, honey?"
I nodded again. "Where's Robert? Did he come home last night?"
"No, he's. . he's staying with a friend for a while." She took a sip of her coffee. "I think it's probably best. It'll give me some time to think about things."
Time. It was something I needed, too. I needed to think about the potion, about Michael, about everything. And I guessed school was as good a place as any to do some thinking.
Classes that morning were a blur. I remember being asked a question by my geography teacher and I just looked at her blankly. I wasn't even embarrassed that I didn't know the answer.
I wore the vial of potion on a chain around my neck, tucked under my black sweater. I touched it now and then to feel the cool glass of the bottle. It was a solid reminder of what I had to do. I had to drink it. I had to forget.
Had to.
I squeezed it tightly and wished there was another choice, but I didn't want to be queen and I didn't want to die. There were no other choices.
"Thinking about tonight?" Melinda asked me at lunch.
I chewed on a french fry. I'd forgotten to pack a sandwich so fries and ketchup was my comfort food of the day.
I also had a Diet Coke to balance out the nutritional value, so no real harm was done.
"Tonight?" I repeated absently.
"Yeah, you know. . the formal? Nikki, you are on another planet right now."
Actually more like another dimension, I thought. A demon one.
"Sorry, I'm a little distracted today." To say the least.
"Well, that's obvious." She sipped from her bottle of water and picked at her salad. "So I guess your stalker is long gone, huh?"
"My what?"
"Chris told me that he scared off your secret admirer yesterday. I guess it wasn't a practical joke after all. Too creepy. I wish you'd called me and told me about it."
I scanned the cafeteria. There was no sign of Michael lurking around. I hadn't seen him since last night.
Qood night, not good-bye.
I cleared my throat. "Chris managed to get rid of him. I haven't seen the guy since," I lied. "I guess Chris can be sort of scary when he wants to be."
"Only because he cares about you." She squeezed my hand across the table. "You two make such a great couple. Am I, like, a total cupid or what?"
"You need a matchmaking license for how good you are." I smiled. "Any girl would be lucky to go out with Chris."
She tucked a long piece of light blonde hair behind her ear. "After everybody sees how great you look with Chris at the dance tonight, I'm sure you'll have lots of guys who want to stalk you. So you'd better get used to it."
I looked at her. "Gee, that's a comforting thought."
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Never better."
Her smile faded around the edges. "Would you tell me if something's wrong? I mean, we are friends, right?"
I nodded. "Of course. Nothing's wrong."
"If you say so." She studied me for a moment and looked a bit disappointed that I wasn't telling her every single tidbit that took up space in my brain.