He looked confused. "She told you that?"
I nodded. "She researched Darklings when my father asked her to. She didn't want to tell him or it would worry him more."
His brow lowered. "What do you mean you've turned Darkling three times!"
I quickly told him about my confrontation with knife-guy again in the park. His expression grew darker with every word.
"I should have been there for you," he said. "I should have protected you." "It's okay."
"No, it's not. You were in danger and I didn't help you. But Elizabeth. ." He paused. "She cares very much what happens to you. And she's very adamant that you drink the potion-she says it's the only way. She allowed me to come back here to check if you had or not." He met my eyes and his expression was strained. "You have to drink it, Nikki."
My throat thickened. "Do you really want me to forget about you?"
"It's the only way."
"You keep saying that. But it doesn't answer my question."
He looked down at the ground. "Princess, I'm a servant. I'm not supposed to want things." "You don't act like a servant."
"Then I'm very sorry," he said. "But I'm just supposed to do what I'm told without questioning it. It's the only way I've ever known."
Something about how he said it made me think very hard. Servants couldn't question orders given to them. They had to do what others told them because
. . because why? They weren't supposed to have minds of their own. Not allowed to make their own decisions, whether that decision was right or wrong.
Sounded like being a teenager. Everybody told me what to do. Where to move. What classes to take, what tests to study for. What books to read.
And now I was being told to drink a potion because there was no other way. Elizabeth's argument for me drinking it was a very good one, though. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to be queen.
No other choice.
"For what it's worth," Michael said after a moment of silence between us, "I don't want you to forget about me. And if things were at all different, I'd tell you not to drink the potion if you didn't really want to. But that would be selfish and stupid of me."
I shook my head. "It's not stupid. Or selfish."
He met my gaze again and held it. "When King Desmond first told me to come here to the human realm, to find his daughter and bring her back to see him, I was convinced you'd be a spoiled brat. I thought that as soon as you found out I was your servant you'd treat me like a nobody. That's the reason I didn't tell you what I was until you found out from your father. When we were in the alleyway after that guy attacked you, and you didn't leave me there-you waited, you stayed with me until I was better-I didn't feel like a nobody. I didn't want to lose that."
"You're not a nobody," I told him, swallowing past the huge lump in my throat.
"My parents died when I was young and your father has treated me well. I can't really complain too much. But it's not the same as… as how you treat me.
You surprised me, Princess. So much. And when you kissed me last night…" He pressed his lips together.
I waited as my heart drummed loudly.
He blinked. "Everything changed."
I inhaled sharply. "What does that mean?"
"It means I don't want you to take the potion and forget about me. It means even though I know who I am and who you are I still want to kiss you again right now. So badly." His mouth was close to mine and he stroked my back-to-blonde hair off my face. "But I can't."
He pulled back and reached down the front of his shirt to pull his amulet out. Only then did I realize he'd had it tucked inside his shirt before.
"Why not?"
"Because your father wanted me to protect you, and that's what I'm going to do." He turned and looked away. "That's why you have to drink the potion.
When you do that, you'll be safe."
It was silent then between us as I thought about everything Michael had just told me. Why did this have to be so hard?
"You said my father only has hours left," I said. He nodded gravely. "I want to see him."
"I already told you that's not a very good idea."
"I heard you. But I don't care. I want you to take me to him and Elizabeth again. Please."
"Princess. Please, drink the potion now. It's for your own protection."
"No."
His gaze snapped to mine. "No?"
I set my jaw. "That's right. I know everybody wants me to drink it, and I'm going to, eventually. But I want to see my father first, or else I'll refuse to drink it at all. I want to go back to the Shadowlands to see him one last time. Please help me do that."
"You'd put yourself at personal risk to make this happen?"
I crossed my arms. "Looks like." "And if I still refuse?"
I slowly let out a shaky breath. "My father said that you were supposed to do as I asked. Isn't that true?"
He grimaced. I hated having to remind him of his servant status. I didn't think of him that way-not even slightly. But I needed him to take me back without arguing. Even though commanding him to do it made me feel sick inside.
"Of course it's true, Princess." He looked away. "If you order me to take you back, then there is nothing I can do but take you."
I forced myself not to cry. "Then I order you to take me back to the Shadowlands."
"Very well." He nodded slowly. "We should leave immediately."
"I need five minutes first. I have to go inside and say good-bye to my friends or they'll be worried about me."
He didn't look directly at me. "I'll wait here."
Heavy-hearted, I stopped at the limo first and retrieved my purse through the opening where the door had blown off. I'd placed the potion bottle inside it since I couldn't hide it under the low neckline of my dress. I went inside the school, and into the gym. I'd already said good-bye to Melinda earlier so that wasn't actually my main reason for going back.
Instead, I went to the bathroom and stared at my now-disheveled reflection in the mirror over the sinks. At least I didn't see any remaining traces of Darkling. I'd fully turned Darkling twice-three times if you counted what happened to Robert-and I was still alive, still breathing. Maybe Elizabeth was wrong. Maybe I was different from the other Darklings she'd researched.