If I drank it everything would be normal again.
But what was normal anymore?
Michael didn't want me to drink it but he said I had to. Sounded exactly how I felt about it, too. Didn't want to, but had to.
I was so sick of being told what I had to do. It was usually the exact opposite of what I wanted to do.
I stared at my reflection for a couple more minutes, trying to will something deep inside of me to the surface. Courage, inner strength, serenity, something that would help me to do what I knew then, without a shadow of a doubt, I had to do.
After another minute, I left the bathroom and walked to the punch bowl to get a glass of the fruity beverage. Drinking it made me feel momentarily better. I hadn't realized how thirsty I was. I looked down into the bowl as the orange slices swam on top, and I tried to collect my thoughts. I wanted to get rid of the feeling of dread that swirled violently in my head-not unlike the dark storm clouds beginning to circle over the school, threatening snow.
A storm was brewing and I was headed right toward it.
But no one seemed to notice but me.
I seriously wished I'd taken a coat to the dance. Little did I know I'd be walking through Erin Heights in a spaghetti-strapped silk dress and bare legs in the middle of December. Luckily, it wasn't snowing yet, but I was still chilled to the bone.
Michael noticed I was shivering and immediately gave me his hooded sweatshirt to wear. Otherwise he was quiet.
"Thank you," I said, zipping it up over my dress. I still felt horrible that I had ordered him around. "Look. . I'm sorry about this. Really."
"Forget it," he said quietly.
But I didn't want to forget. That was one of the reasons I was going back to the Shadowlands. I was sure there had to be a way for everything to work out without taking the potion.
I knew I'd made some potentially questionable decisions. I just hoped it would all work out for the best.
"Do me a favor, though?" he asked after another minute. "Don't tell Elizabeth you've turned Darkling. It will… it will worry her too much."
He was right about that. I wouldn't tell her. But she was the resident expert on Darklings. I had to talk to her and get more of an idea of what I was up against.
Besides, if she was willing to be queen and I didn't want the position, why couldn't it be left at that? A decision rather than an uncontrollable selection process that couldn't be changed?
I looked at Michael. I could tell that he was trying to sense where we could find another gateway. His amulet pulsed with dim light.
"My father told me that if Shadows still ruled the Shadowlands you'd be a prince," I said. "Is that true?" I wasn't sure where the question came from, but I had to ask.
He kept his eyes on the sidewalk ahead of him. "Yeah. But they don't and I'm not, so it doesn't really matter, does it?" His amulet flared with green light. He turned right once we entered the downtown area. "Here's where we want to go."
Behind the convenience store where Mom usually picked up milk and scratch-and-win lottery tickets, Michael took hold of a large Dumpster and pulled it away from the wall an inch or two. Behind it I could see a dull glow.
"That's a gateway?" I asked.
He nodded. "They're well hidden in the human realm and they shift regularly. We wouldn't want just anyone accidentally dropping into another dimension, would we?"
"No, that would be very bad."
Once he'd pulled the Dumpster completely away from the wall and I could see the outline of the gateway clearly, he turned to me with a concerned expression. "Look, I'm doing this for you against my will. I want you to know this. You shouldn't go back there. You should drink the potion and be safe here. But you want to go and so I'm taking you. Just. . just be careful, okay?"
I'd expected him to still be mad at me for pulling rank and this strange concern was surprising. I swallowed hard. "Okay."
He fixed me with a grim look that softened the longer he gazed into my eyes. And then he turned around and disappeared through the glowing gateway. I didn't wait too long. I followed, experiencing the lurch and vertigo of my previous gateway trip. The next moment I stood on the threshold of the Shadowlands, with the faery realm next to me, warm and green and beautiful.
Well, here I am again, I thought, as the stunned realization sunk in that I was really back. The vertigo stayed a moment longer than last time and I wobbled in my high heels. Michael put his arm around my waist to steady me. After I regained my equilibrium, I took off his sweatshirt and handed it back to him. Our fingers brushed as he took it from me and then he slowly gazed at my lavender dress, which he could now see in daylight.
"You look so beautiful, Princess," he said.
A breath caught in my chest. I normally would have been thrilled with a compliment from him, but he said it so sadly and when he looked in my eyes, he seemed worried.
He was afraid. Of what, exactly? Of bringing me back here unannounced and getting in trouble? Of my father dying and my being trapped here as a very unwilling queen? I was afraid of that, too. More than he knew. Or was it something else entirely?
Before I could ask, he turned away from me. "Let's go."
My high heels dug into the soft ground as we walked, but once the ground turned to gray rock it was a bit better, although still precarious. The front doors of Castle Dread opened for us when we finally reached them and a chill went down my spine as I entered the now-familiar expansive front area with its glistening black floor and spiral staircase.
I felt a wave of fear then, but I knew there was no time for that. I wanted to see my father, I wanted to talk to my aunt. Now, before it was too late.
My feet were killing me. Heels were great for sitting in a limo and hanging out at a dance, but obviously not so good for interdimensional travel. I took a minute to take them off and leave them by the front door, preferring to walk around on the cool, smooth floors in bare feet than to continue with my selfinflicted torture.
"Where's Elizabeth?" I asked.
"She's probably in her quarters," Michael said as we began making our way up the stairs. At the top I reached for his hand and he glanced at me with surprise.
"You don't mind?" I asked.
"Of course not."
We walked past the large, cavernous room with the fireplace that I remembered very clearly from last night, and then down a hall, deeper into the castle. Instead of electric lights, there were candles and oil lamps on the walls. The flames flickered in the darkness to light the hallway.
Michael glanced at me. "You're sure you really want to be here?"
"Of course. Why?"
"Because you're practically squeezing my hand off my wrist."
I cleared my throat. "Maybe I'm a little anxious."
His grip increased on my hand as well. "I can take you back. You don't have to be here at all. We can leave."
I shook my head. "I have to talk to my aunt."
Then I froze as I heard a bellowing roar reverberate through the castle. The sound made me go cold with fear.
"What was that?" I managed.
Michael's arm came around my waist. "It's okay."