It was probably nothing, of course. It was also probably nothing that Elizabeth's perfume vial looked exactly the same as the container of my father's pain meds. My aunt was a kind woman who was looking after her dying brother. She was sacrificing her freedom to become queen because she felt it was her duty. She didn't even want to be queen.
Who would want to be trapped in this castle without the opportunity of leaving?
But still. Something felt off to me.
"It's all she speaks of." Kieran's words echoed in my mind.
"Desmond," my aunt said as she entered my father's room. Michael stood at the far side against the wall, silent. He looked at me and he smiled a little-just enough for me to see. "Nikki is here with me."
"Yes," a deep voice replied. "I sensed that she had returned."
My father, in full demon form, lay on a huge canopied bed in the middle of the room. He raised his head a little to look at me and I saw his eyes flash red.
"Nikki." His voice was weak. "You shouldn't have returned. I didn't want you to see me like this again. Please don't be afraid."
My heart clenched and I went directly to his side. This time, unlike last night when his demon form had taken me by surprise and scared me deeply, I could see him more clearly. He had coal black skin and a ridged forehead with large, curved horns protruding from his temples. His cheekbones and chin were sharp and angular. The tips of his ears came to a point and his eyes were catlike and glowed with dull red light in the dimness of the room.
The room was a bit different from the others I'd seen. While I could tell that it still had black stone walls and floors, it had a few more personal touches.
Colorful draperies and beautifully detailed paintings covered the walls. The scenes depicted seemed to be those of my world: waterfalls, sunsets, and beautiful meadows. In a frame among the other paintings there was an oil painting of a smiling woman who looked remarkably like my mother. It was dim in there, lit by a few torches.
My father was covered by a blanket, but his large, heavily muscled bare arms lay on top. The skin looked leathery, similar to the wings that extended from his back, folded in on themselves so I could barely see them now. His hands were clenched over his stomach as if he expected to be racked with pain at any moment.
I wanted to tell him about my Darkling form. How I'd shifted completely and was still okay. How maybe I was the exception-that maybe I wasn't at risk of dying early like the others had. But I still didn't know for sure. I didn't want to worry him or Elizabeth, so I held my tongue.
Elizabeth, who wanted to take the throne. According to her boyfriend, that is.
I reached out and put my hand on top of my father's, and the skin did feel leathery, but smooth and warm. He looked up at me with surprise.
"I had to see you again," I said.
"Why?" he asked hoarsely.
"Because you're my father."
His currently hairless brows drew together. "Nikki. . you have to go home and be happy. Be with your mother. Take care of her for me. Please forget about all of this. It's for the best."
"Your father is right," Elizabeth said.
Her voice made me tense.
I watched her warily as she put the tray on a bedside table and then poured water mixed with the medicine into the goblet and brought it to my father's lips.
"Drink this, Desmond. It will help."
He did. I waited for her to mention the medicine, but she didn't say a word. My father didn't give any indication that he tasted anything other than water.
Did he know that there was pain medication in his water? She'd been taking care of him for a while, so I guessed it would be expected.
But why had she jumped when I caught her mixing it into the water earlier? Why had her hand been shaking?
"Thank you," he said when he was done. "I'm so lucky to have had you near me ever since this horrible illness began, Elizabeth."
She stroked his forehead. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
"Elizabeth returned to the castle before you got sick?" I asked.
"Yes," my father said. "I don't know what I would have done without her."
Elizabeth squeezed his hand. "I only wish I could ease your pain, brother."
His attention returned to me and he looked at the vial I wore on the chain around my neck. "Why haven't you drunk the potion yet? I thought it was what you wanted."
"I wanted to see you again."
He managed a very small smile at that. "Even when I'm stuck in this form?"
I nodded. His demon form was a fearsome thing, and at first glance anyone would assume that he was a monster, but I now knew that he wasn't. As he'd said to me yesterday, he was the same man underneath, no matter what outer form he took. I had no doubt that my father was a good man, even though he was also a demon.
It sounded completely crazy, but I believed it.
I wasn't afraid of him. I hadn't known him for my entire life, but I knew at that moment that I loved him. I loved my father so much and I didn't want him to die.
My eyes burned with tears. I'd seen him one last time. I'd done what I wanted. I'd shown him that I wasn't afraid of him-I didn't want the last time he saw me to have been last night when I screamed because I was afraid of how he looked.
Now the only thing I was afraid of was losing him before I got the chance to even get to know him.
I cleared my throat and looked around the room. "The pictures. Where did you get them?"
"I painted them myself. My memories of being in the human realm are still very vivid. I wanted to remember what I'd seen."
"And the one of my mother?"
"I painted that one as well." His eyes moved to it. "I can still see her when I close my eyes, as if I was with her only yesterday."
Just then, his face convulsed and he clutched at his stomach. The veins and muscles in his neck bulged. He was in pain but wasn't crying out this time.
Was it because I was in the room next to him? Did he not want me to see how much agony he was in? Was he holding in the scream so it wouldn't scare me? I felt like sobbing for him, for his pain, and for everything he was going through.
Why wasn't the pain medication Elizabeth gave him working? Was it too late?
When he settled down he met my gaze again. "I'm sorry, Nikki," his voice rasped. "For all of this."
I shook my head and clutched on to his hand tighter. "Don't be sorry."
He turned to Elizabeth. "May I have some more water?"