"But then what will you do?" asked Chiun. "You can't marry her without the gold for a dowry. It is contrary to Sinanju law. Unless you wish to break the engagement. If you wish to break the engagement, I will be disappointed, but I will try to bear up. Yes, if that is what you must do, let us sit down now and write to the poor child and inform her of your decision while there is still strength in our breaking hearts."
"Nothing doing," Remo said flatly. "We're getting married. As for the dowry, I'll go earn a new dowry for her."
"That is forbidden," said Chiun. "The husband does not provide the dowry. It is as foolish as the American merchants returning the wonder card."
"I'm not going back to Sinanju without you, Chiun. You know that."
"Maybe Smith has a place for you in the organization," said Chiun thoughtfully. "I cannot guarantee this, but I will put in a good word for you, if that is your wish. I cannot promise you a magic card, for obviously only assassins with seniority get these, but perhaps there is such a thing as a silver card. Or a titanium card. I understand titanium is a very valuable metal in America."
"Forget it. I'm not working for Smith. Those days are gone."
"But their pleasantness lingers in the memory, does it not?" Chiun asked.
"Right," said Remo. "It does not."
Just then the elevator doors slid open.
"Expecting company?" Remo asked.
"Not such as these," said Chiun disdainfully.
The three men who gingerly stepped from the elevator cage wore goosedown jackets, stained bluejeans, and plastic baseball caps decorated with Confederate-flag decals. Their pores reeked of beer.
"We're lookin' for Ferris Wheel," said Boyce Barlow, pointing a double-barreled shotgun at Remo and Chiun. "Try a carnival," said Remo.
"Do you mean Ferris D'Orr?" asked Chiun.
"Yeah, that's him," said Boyce Barlow. "Trot him out, hear?"
"I am not deaf," said the Master of Sinanju. "One moment."
"What are you doing?" Remo asked Chiun, who was calmly walking to the door with the Do Not Disturb sign on it. Chiun knocked.
"What?" Ferris D'Orr called angrily.
"A moment of your time, O metallurgical one." Ferris stuck his head out the door.
"Are these the bandits who attempted to kidnap you?"
"Yeow!" said Ferris, slamming the door.
"I think that was a yes," Remo pointed out.
"I think it was too," said Chiun, walking up to the three men. "Watch this," he added under his breath. Remo leaned back against the wall. He yawned, The Master of Sinnnju stopped before the three men. They pointed rifles at his head. The Master of Sinanju smiled and bowed from the waist, first unbuttoning his coat.
The three men looked uncertain. When they did not bow in return, the Master of Sinanju kicked them in their shins, producing the required bowing action.
With fingers so fast they blurred, the Master of Sinanju sent the first two fingers on his right hand into the eyes of the man on the end.
The man dropped his rifle. His hands started to reach for his eyes, but he fell backward before completing the motion.
Boyce Barlow heard his cousin Luke fall over. The closing elevator doors vised his head. Then he heard Bud, on the other side, do the same. Boyce tightened down on the double triggers of his shotgun. He stopped squeezing because, suddenly, two fingers pushed his eyes back into his brain with such force that the pressure cracked his skull. That crack was the last sound Boyce Barlow ever heard.
Chiun returned to Remo's side, dry-washing his hands. "I've never seen you do moves like that before, Little Father," Remo said.
"I learned them from Moe Stooge," said Chiun happily.
"Never heard of him."
"Really, Remo, he is very famous in America. He is one of the Stooge Brothers. They are excellent entertainers. Possibly brilliant. I would like to visit them as soon as possible. I may be able to help them refine some of their moves."
"No chance," said Remo.
"You would deny me such a tiny request?"
"I'm sorry to be the one to break this to you, but they all died years ago."
Chiun trembled. "Curly too?"
"He was the first to go."
The Master of Sinanju bowed his head in sorrow. "The good die young," he said.
Remo went over to the three bodies and tested their carotid arteries.
"They're dead," he said.
"Of, course. They are the vicious would-be kidnappers of Ferris the Metallurgist. They did not deserve to live. What are you doing?"
"Checking them for identification."
"Why bother? The dead have no need of their names."
"But Smith might. Nothing. Their wallets are empty."
"What color?" asked Chiun.
"This one's black."
"I will take it, seeing he does not need it any longer."
"Okay, let's go," said Remo, straightening.
"Where?"
"Back to Smith. We're going to get you unhired."