"Smitty? Remo."
"Yes, Remo," Smith said uninterestedly.
"We lost Ferris," Reme said abruptly.
Smith's hand tightened on the receiver. "What?"
Chiun's voice came on the line as Remo started to reply.
"Do not fear, Emperor. Ferris is not truly lost."
"Where is he?"
"We do not know."
"Then he is lost."
"No, merely misplaced. Here, Remo will explain his failure to you. Please do not punish him too severely."
"Thanks a lot, Chiun," Remo said away from the phone. Over the line, Smith heard them lapse into a tense exchange in Korean. He waited for the bickering to subside because he knew neither man would listen to him as long as they were arguing.
Finally Remo's voice came back on the phone.
"He was kidnapped, Smitty. We saw it happen, but the kidnappers got away. They were driving a van that must have been built of steel."
"Titanium," Chiun said in the background. "Mere steel would not have stopped us."
Remo went on after a tired sigh. "It was a girl, young, blond, with an older guy. Really old."
"But younger than me," Chiun chimed in. "will you let me finish?" Remo said.
Smith rolled his eyes heavenward. Even at this moment of failure, his immediate reaction was that it felt as if Remo and Chiun had never left CURE. His second was that he felt the walls were closing in.
"Anyway," Remo went on, "the old guy was in a wheelchair."
"We must have a bad connection," Smith said. "I thought you said one of the kidnappers was in a wheelchair. Repeat please."
"He was in a wheelchair. I know it sounds crazy, but there you go. Ferris has been kidnapped by a disabled person. They even rammed a car out of a handicapped parking space and killed the driver just to get the space. At least, that's how I read the scene."
"This doesn't make sense," Smith said.
"It gets worse. The guy who took the parking space had a shuriken lodged in his throat."
"A which?"
"A shuriken," Remo repeated. "It's a sharpened throwing star. Ninjas use them for killing."
"Ferris D'Orr was kidnapped by ninjas?"
"I don't think so," Remo said. "This wasn't the usual throwing star. It was shaped like a swastika, with the edges sharpened."
"Nazi ninjas kidnapped Ferris D'Orr? Is that what you're saying?" He reached for a bottle of extra-strength aspirin.
"No, I'm telling you what I saw and what I found. It's up to you to figure it out."
"Is there anything more?"
"We followed them. They ran us off the road and got away."
"Remo wouldn't let me drive," the voice of the Master of Sinanju came faintly through the receiver.
Dr. Harold W. Smith sat down in his leather chair wondering how he would explain this to the President. "I don't suppose you managed to get the van's license plate in all the excitement?" Smith asked acidly.
"No, I didn't get the van's license plate," Remo repeated. "I don't work for you, remember?"
"But I do and did," another voice said.
Smith bolted up in his chair. "What was that? What did Chiun say?"
"Here, you talk to him," Remo said.
"Master of Sinanju?" Smith said, hope rising in his heart.
"Never fear, Emperor, I have the numbers at my command. Truly, I have learned how important numbers are in American society. You have numbers for everything, for telephones, for houses, and for American Express. I saw the numbers of the offending vehicle."
"Read them to me, please," Dr. Smith said, booting up his CURE computers. In a walled-off section of Folcroft's basement, the powerful bank of computers kicked into silent life.
"DOC-183," said Chiun.
"What state?" said Smith, in putting the numbers into the search file.
"Moving fast," said Chiun.
"I mean what state was listed at the bottom of the license plate. There is always a state name."
"I did not notice," said Chiun unhappily. "Are states also important? I thought only numbers were. Should I remember the state the next time, or the numbers?"
"Both," said Smith wearily.
"Both. It will be extra work, but I will do this in your honor, O generous dispenser of American Express."
"This is important, Master of Sinanju. Do you, maybe, remember the first letter of the state name?"
"I think it began with A."
"Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, or Arkansas?" asked Smith, his fingers poised to key in the answer.