"It's okay. She's the first woman in a zillion years who doesn't want to jump my bones."
"I do not know this phrase," Kinga said. "What does it mean, please?"
"Ya tebya lyublu, " said Chiun.
"Prastee'te?" Kinga replied.
Chiun leveled accusing eyes at Kinga. "She is Russian, not Hungarian."
"I am Hungarian, but I speak fluent Russian."
"Bocsanat," said Chiun.
"Koszonom," replied Kinga. Then in English, "You speak Magyar?"
"Obviously," said Chiun.
"What's Magyar?" asked Remo.
"The Hungarian national language," said Kinga.
"I thought the Hungarian national language was Hungarian."
"Only an American could be so ignorant not to know of Magyar," Kinga scoffed.
"Well, Polish people speak Polish," Remo said.
"That is a different matter entirely. Poles are Slavs."
"How many fingers do I hold up?" asked Chiun, displaying four fingers.
"Negy," said Kinga.
"Not chety're?"
"That is the Russian word. I will reply to your question in Russian if you wish."
"You smell Russian. You smell of borscht and black bread."
"I have eaten these foods, but not recently. I much prefer American foods exclusively since I come to this country. Especially Beeg Meks and chizburgers."
"You will die young and in pain, then," spat Chiun.
"Who is this fulminating little man?" Kinga asked Remo.
"That's Chiun. My partner."
"He is very unusual. Such frankness of speech to a stranger."
Chiun made a nasal sound like a polite snort. He had the Mars bar and was examining it critically.
"This is unfit for human consumption."
"It's chocolate, caramel and nougat," Remo said.
"Fit only for Martian stomachs."
Remo sighed. "Look, we're getting nowhere at this rate. Let's get serious or get out of here. We've seen that whatever did this was the same thing that zapped the BioBubble."
"What do you know of the BioBubble disaster?" asked Kinga suddenly.
"That it was a mercy killing," said Chiun, bustling up. "What do you know of this, Russian?"
"I am Hungarian," Kinga insisted.
"Perhaps. Answer the question."
"I am reporter. I am interested in your theory as to what force or agency is responsible for what has transpired here."
"Martians," said Chiun, turning on his heel.
Remo started after him, calling over his shoulder, "You coming or not?"
"I am coming. I find you both very interesting."
"That's a start," said Remo.
"I do not understand you very well," Kinga said, a plaintive note coming into her cultured voice.
"The feeling's mutual," returned Remo.
"Men are from Mars, women are from Venus," sniffed Chiun. "And if you both are wise, you will remain in your own spheres."
"I hear Mars needs women," countered Remo, grinning.
Kinga fixed them with a look that could only be called askance.
Chapter 18
In a darkened Orlando hotel room, a roll of film was coming out of the portable developer. Once exposed, the film would have far-reaching geopolitical consequences, though no one would recognize this until it was too late to turn back the doomsday clock on humanity.
Travis "Red" Rust took a jeweler's magnifying eyepiece to the contact sheet and was going through each shot looking for the best one.
He got to shot thirteen, moved on, then jumped back so fast and hard he bruised his eye.
When the tearing stopped, he looked at the image with his right eye, then the left, then the right again to make triply sure what he was looking at wasn't an emulsion glitch.