The leopardess had a leisurely meal in the tree. She did not offer to share her meal, and she was not asked. Timon and Pumbaa watched her pull off strips of the fresh meat and mince them with a look of pleasure before swallowing. Timon stared at her hungrily, running the tip of his tongue slowly around his lips. “Look at that, Pumbaa! That’s how real people live.”
Pumbaa said nothing, but his stomach complained periodically. Simba was quite content to watch her. Part of his missing heritage would be given him, and he awaited the wonderful secrets she would impart with open-mouthed wonder. “Imagine, me a hunter! A hunter like my mother before me!”
Pride began to swell in his chest, and he hadn’t even tried his luck at it yet.
Finally as the sun was getting low in the sky, she nosed the carcass and it fell out of the branches. Stretching in her precarious perch, she yawned, shook herself, and ambled down the tree. “You ready?”
“Yes ma’am!”
“Lose the ‘yes ma’am.’ My name’s Mikosi.”
“I’m Simba.”
“Glad to meet you at last.” She nuzzled him.
“I’m Timon, if anyone cares. This is my friend Pumbaa.”
Without even glancing in their direction, Mikosi continued. “If you’re going to learn from me, you must do what my cub would have done. Speak when spoken to, and then very softly. Every word we say is an enemy, seeking to betray us. Do you agree to this?”
Simba nodded quietly.
“You learn fast, I’ll grant you.”
For nearly two hours, she gave him lessons on stalking, running after prey, and staying downwind. Timon and Pumbaa watched with horrified fascination at the list of killing tactics, especially when she used them as examples in laying out an approach.
Then when the moon disappeared behind a cloud and the forest was cloaked in inky darkness, she said, “Let’s do it!”
He did exactly what she told him to do. And to his absolute amazement and hers he brought down a small antelope on his very first try!
“Maybe it’s beginner’s luck. But you earned this.”
Mikosi dipped her paw in the blood and made a pawprint on his cheek. “Somewhere out there your parents are proud of you.”
Before Simba could eat, she dragged the carcass up a nearby tree!
"Hey! Bring that back down here! I didn't even get a bite!"
"This is my payment for showing you where to hunt, big boy," she teased, chewing contentedly. “Next lesson: guard your prey from jealous eyes. That’s why I climb trees.”
“But that’s my first! I want to know what it tastes like!”
“I’ll describe it to you.”
“We could share.”
“We certainly could. But what would be the fun in that?”
“It would be nice and friendly.”
Simba extended his claws and began to shinny up the rough-barked tree with absolute determination in his eyes.
She stopped chewing, her claws flicking out as she hugged the limb for balance. "W-What are you DOING?!"
He flailed clumsily, trying to ascend and keep his own balance. "I'm going to join you for dinner, hon."
"STOP!" The tree, not that big to begin with, began to sway drunkenly. "You're too big, imbecile!"
"Well I’m getting smaller by the minute. I'm hungry."
CRAAACK!!!!
Splinters shot up in a spray and sap spewed into the air in haphazard patterns as the tree surrendered, shredding at its lower end to come tumbling down with a crash. As it neared the ground, the end of the tree snapped clear of the stump, pistoning out and jarring the cats, sending them flying clear. The gazelle was not so lucky; Mikosi had wedged it into a fork of the tree to keep it from falling, and she did her job well; it remained there all the way to the ground, where it was obliterated by the smashing weight of the trunk.
Mikosi shook her head blearily, staring at Simba as he staggered to his feet. "You're crazy!"
“Well look. I don’t mind hunting with you if you play fair, OK? Let’s set down some rules here and now. Those that work, eat.”
She looked into his angry eyes, expecting the worst. He went over to the fallen tree, pulling what remained of the carcass out and starting to eat as she watched hungrily. The sensation of eating meat stirred him, and he remembered old feelings and old friends from long ago. A shudder of deep emotion went through him. He’d finished more than half of it, but then he backed back a little. “Won’t you join me, Mikosi?”
“Really?”
“Yeah. When I say something, I mean it.”
She came up tentatively beside him, snatching a quick bite and chewing, relaxing when he ignored her and started to eat again. "Friends?"
"Friends."
She kissed his cheek. “You’re rather special, you know that?”
Abruptly a low growl issued from the trees behind them. They turned to see another leopard descending, his flat yellow glare fixed on Mikosi. "Gods, this is SICK! You'll go with ANYTHING! I thought you were just having an affair, but my gods, this is SICK!"
“He’s just a friend! He’d never been around his own kind, and I thought I’d show him how to--well--you know!”
The male leopard moaned. “That’s what I was afraid of!” She tried to explain, but he would hear none of it. He told Simba, "Get out, you home wrecker! Out, out out!!!!"
“I just trying to satisfy my appetite.”
"Oh gods! I don't want to hear the sordid details! Take your ‘appetite’ as you call it and GET OUT!!!"
As Simba padded away slowly, he couldn’t help but hear the heated argument behind him as the leopard berated Mikosi. “Tell me he didn’t! Tell me you didn’t!”
“You jealous fool,” she hissed. “What if we did! You think you can come waltzing into my life every few months and tell me how to run my affairs??”
In fury, he bellowed, “DID YOU??”
“NO!” Simba shouted. “Absolutely not! No way! Forget it kid! I’m out of here!”
“I thought you were very special!” she called after Simba.
“Special??” The leopard ran and blocked Simba’s escape. “Hey Fire Flanks, you want her, you fight for her! Come on, lion! I’ll fight you to the death!”
“But I don’t want to fight you!”
“Are you saying she’s not worth it! You made it with my wife, then you leave her flat?? I’d kill you for that, or die trying!”
“Look,” Simba said. “It’s really you she loves. I mean hey, she cried out your name by mistake. It’s a real turn-off when someone yells ‘Oh Oswego’ in a moment of passion.”
The leopard’s hackles raised and he began to tremble with unstoppable rage. Just as Timon and Pumbaa were wishing they were on another continent, the leopard shrilly screamed, “I’M NOT OSWEGO!! MY NAME IS HAMBA!!”
He pushed past Simba and barreled after the leopardess at top speed. When all was still, and the trio had gone safely into the forest, Timon said, “Yesss!!” and high-fived Simba. “Gods, what an inspiration!!”