The scent of antiseptic nearly overpowered her, and for an instant she thought she was again in the hospital room in Luna City. But that wasn't right. This room lacked corners; every line was strangely curved. There was a no-nonsense efficiency to it, and everything was colored a soft blue.
Before her sat a ridiculously bare control console. And her feet did not touch the ground. She floated in mid-air, and could not tell up from down.
Then it hit her: She was in freefall, onboard a ship. But not just any ship. She was aboard Photon.
And it was no longer on Luna-it was in space!
A woman hung suspended in the acceleration webbing between Susan and the console, her back to Susan. The woman was dressed in a black Base Security jumpsuit, and her dark hair was cropped close to her head.
Before she cleared her throat, forcing that other woman to turn around, Susan knew what she would discover. But still, when she did so, and the woman did turn her head to face Susan, Susan's breath caught in her lungs. The woman strapped into the acceleration webbing before her was Susan herself!
"I've been expecting you," the other said.
"Have you?" Susan didn't know what else to say.
"Of course I have. Think it through."
But Susan couldn't think it through. The headache pounded behind her eyes, draining both her strength and her will. Then the snowflake pattern formed in her thoughts and she mumbled the mantra. The headache became less intense, but did not disappear, and the residual pain was more than it had been last time.
But at least now she could think. And suddenly she knew her duplicate was right. She would be expected. After all, this other had done in her past exactly what Susan was doing now. Her duplicate had the advantage of knowing what would happen, because everything that would happen to Susan had already happened to her. She had come through, solved all the problems. The proof was that she was here, in free-fall, onboard Photon.
Susan kicked off the bulkhead and glided to the webbing. Grabbing it, she steadied herself beside her duplicate.
She couldn't remember ever being so tired. And it wasn't simply physical tiredness-it was a mental exhaustion as well. More had happened to her in the past week that she simply could not comprehend than had occurred in her entire previous life.
Her duplicate seemed to know what she was thinking. "Don't give up now," the other said.
Of course her duplicate knew what she was thinking. After all, this other had once been in the same position Susan was in now. She had thought the same thoughts Susan was thinking.
"Then it will all work out?" Susan asked.
The other shook her head. "I didn't say that. At this very instant, you and I are inhabiting a possible future, but it is only that. Its existence is by no means assured-much might still go wrong."
"What you're saying is, I still might not come through this alive."
"That's right."
Susan fell silent for a few seconds, as did her possible-future self. Finally, she asked, "What do I have to do to make it come out right?"
"I can't tell you that. If I say too much, it won't come out like this."
Susan nodded. She was beginning to understand-some of it.
"What can you tell me?" she asked.
"Only what I was told when I was in your place. Simply this: Part of the answer lies in your past."
"What do you mean?"
"I can say no more."
"But I don't understand…"
"I know." The other smiled. "You'll have to learn to trust yourself, rely on your own instincts. You are the only true ally you have. Remember that. But also remember that you can be your own worst enemy as well."
Again riddles. "Would you just tell me what you mean-what I should do?"
"I can't. I wasn't told, so you can't be. And I felt the same confusion you're feeling now."
Suddenly, Susan knew this other was as trapped by her past as Susan herself was. After all, she was Susan.
Trapped in my past…, she thought, and instantly she knew what she must do. She had just thought it-she was trapped by her past.
The nightmare. The missing occurrences from ten years before. Her duplicate had said the answers were in her past.
Could she jump that far into her past? And could she possibly jump to another star system?
She did not know. She didn't even know if she dared return to that past. If she changed it in any way, everything could be upset. She might conceivably alter her own future.
But she had no choice. As dangerous as it might be, she had to jump back ten years-to Aldebaran, and that fearful time that had produced her nightmares.
Her duplicate smiled knowingly. She knew Susan had hit on the solution. As much as she feared it, it was the only way.
Susan cleared her mind of all thought beyond returning to a time ten years in her past, to a star system sixty light-years distant in space. She felt the dizziness, and the world around her vanished.