“Ooh! The Shadowland—sounds scary!” Roman laughs and shakes his head. “Don’t tell me you’re still meditating, mate? Still trekking the Himalayas searching for meaning?”
I swallow hard and look away, ignoring them both. Mind crowded with arguments, both for and against, as Ava adds, “Ever. Damen’s right.”
I glare at her, the woman who betrayed me in the very worst way. Leaving Damen vulnerable and exposed after promising to look after him, a willing partner in Roman’s game.
“I know you don’t trust me, but it’s not what you think. Listen, Ever, please, I don’t have time to explain, but if you won’t listen to me, then listen to Damen, he knows what he says, you can’t save your friend, you have to let her go—”
“Spoken like a true rogue,” I hiss, remembering how she took off with the elixir, which I’ve no doubt she drank.
“It’s not what you think,” she says, “it’s nothing like that.”
But I’m no longer listening, my attention returning to Roman, now by my side, jiggling the goblet of elixir, the liquid flashing, sparking, as he swirls it around and around, warning me the time has come, it’s time for me to choose.
“Haven wanted her fortune told, and who better to tell it than you, Avalon? Too bad Jude’s not here, or we could really have ourselves a party—or wake—depending on how things work out. What happened, Ever, you two looked pretty tight last time I checked.”
I swallow hard, my friend now hanging by a string. A string I can either cut—or—
“Hate to rush you, but it’s the moment of truth. Please don’t disappoint Haven, she was so looking forward to her reading. So what’s it going to be? What do the cards say? Does she live—or does she die? The future is yours to decide.”
“Ever,” Damen says, hand on my arm, veil of energy hovering insistently between us, one more reminder of my mounting mistakes. “You can’t do it, please. You know it’s not right. As hard as this is, you’ve no choice but to say good-bye.”
“Oh, there’s a choice.” Roman jiggles the bottle again. “Just how far are you willing to go to maintain your ideals and get the one thing you most want in the world?”
“Ever, please.” Ava leans toward me. “This is all wrong, it’s against the law of nature. You have to let her go.”
I close my eyes. Unable to act—unable to move—I can’t do this—I can’t make this choice—he can’t make me do this—
Roman’s voice hovering over me when he says, “So I guess that’s it then.” He sighs and moves away. “Good for you, Ever, you proved your point. You’re nothing like me. Nothing at all. You’re a true elitist, a person of lofty ideals, higher mind, and now you get to sleep with your boyfriend too! Well done! And to think all it cost is the life of your friend. Your poor, sad, lost friend, who only wanted what everyone else wants—what you already have and are in the perfect position to share. Congratulations—should I say?”
He heads for the hall as I kneel before Haven, face streaming with tears as I gaze at my friend. My sad, lost, confused friend who didn’t deserve any of this, who’s always paying the price for befriending me. Damen’s and Ava’s murmuring voices beside me, a lullaby of promises, promising me I’ll get through it, that I did the right thing, that it’ll all be okay.
And then I see it, the silver cord that attaches the body to the soul. Having heard about it but never actually seeing it until now. Watching as it stretches so thin it’s ready to snap—send my friend far from here and straight into Summerland—
I spring to my feet, ripping the bottle from Roman’s grasp, and forcing Haven to drink.
Immune to the cries all around me, Ava’s piercing gasp, Damen begging me to stop, and Roman’s one-man applause accompanied by his loud vulgar laugh.
But I don’t care about that.
I only care about her.
Haven.
I can’t let her go.
Can’t let her die.
Can’t say good-bye.
Cradling her head in my arms and making her drink—the color instantly returning to her cheeks as she opens her eyes and gazes at me.
“What the—?” She struggles to sit, and looks all around. Squinting when she glances between me, Ava, Damen, and Roman, and says, “Where am I?”
I stare at her, mouth open, but with no idea what to say. Knowing that this is how Damen must’ve felt with me, only this is much worse.
He didn’t know about the death of the soul.
I did.
“Damen and Ever decided to join us, luv, and guess what? The future’s looking brighter than ever!” Roman swoops in beside me and helps her to her feet, winking at me when he adds, “You weren’t feeling so well, so Ever gave you some juice, thinking a little sugar might perk you right up—and damn if it didn’t work. And now, Ava, be a luv, and go fetch us some tea, would ya? There’s a new pot on the stove.”
Ava gets to her feet, willing me to meet her gaze as she heads for the hall. But I won’t. Can’t. Can’t look at anyone. Not after what I’ve just done.
“Glad to know you’re on board, Ever.” Roman pauses just shy of the door. “It’s like I said—you and I—we’re the same. Bound to each other for all of eternity. And not because of the spell, darlin’—but because it’s our fate—our destiny. Think of me as yet another soul mate.” He laughs, voice a whisper when he adds, “There, there, luv, don’t look so shocked. I, for one, am not the least bit surprised. You’ve never once strayed from the script. At least not so far.”
CHAPTER 49
Damen leans toward me, his gaze like a hand on my arm, warm, inviting, luring me in. “Ever, please, look at me,” he says.
But I just continue to stare at the ocean, the water so black I can’t even see it.
Black ocean, dark moon, and a friend who’s headed for the Shadowland, thanks to me.
I climb out of his car and head for the edge, staring down the steep cliff at the darkness below. Drawn to the pull of his energy as he comes up behind me, hand on my shoulder, pulling me close to his chest as he says, “We’ll get through this—you’ll see.”
I turn, needing to see him, wondering how he can say such a thing. “How?” I start, voice so frail it’s as though it belongs to somebody else. “How will we do that? You gonna make her an amulet and insist she wear it every day?”
He shakes his head, eyes boring into mine when he says, “How can I make Haven wear hers when I can’t even convince you to wear yours?” His fingers drift to my neck, my chest, tracing the space where the crystals should be. “What happened?”
I turn, unwilling to look even worse in his eyes by explaining how I removed it, so overconfident in my misguided spell-casting attempt I set it aside.
“What am I supposed to tell her?” I whisper. “How can I possibly explain what I’ve done? How do you tell someone that you’ve given them eternal life, but if by chance they die, then their soul will be lost?”
Damen’s lips looming close, warming my ear when he says, “We’ll find a way—we’ll—”
I shake my head and move away, staring into the black, avoiding his gaze. “How can you say that? How can you—”
He comes up beside me, his mere presence heating my skin as he says, “How can I what?”
I swallow hard, unable to say it, to put into words all that I’ve done. Allowing myself to be pulled into his arms, held tightly to his chest, wishing I could crawl right inside him, curl up next to his heart and stay there forever—the safest shelter I could ever know.
“How can I forgive a girl who loves her friend so much she can’t bear to let her go?” He tucks my hair behind my ear and lifts my chin, making me face him. “How can I forgive a girl who sacrificed the one thing she’s wanted all this time, all these years? Forfeiting the immediate hope of us being together so her friend could live? How can I forgive her, you ask?” He looks at me, eyes searching mine. “It’s easy. Did I not make a similar choice when I first made you drink? And yet, what you did was so much bigger, motivated only by love, while my own actions weren’t quite so pure. I was far more interested in alleviating my suffering.” He shakes his head. “Convincing myself I did it for you, when the truth is, I was selfish and greedy, always interfering, never allowing you to choose for yourself. I brought you back for me—it’s clear to me now.”
I swallow hard, wishing I could believe him—that my decision was noble. But this is different. What I did was entirely different. I knew about the Shadowland, he didn’t.
Looking at him as I say, “And that’s all fine until she’s in trouble again, then the death of her soul is on me.”