Helena came with me.
We rode as far as the donkey could easily travel, way up among the tangled brushwood which I knew was frequented by wild boar. We both dismounted, tethered Ned, then set off to cover the final stint to the top. It was rough going; Helena stopped.
'Too strenuous for you?'
'I'm struggling-You go on; I'll wait with the donkey.'
She went back. I went on. I thought I wanted to be by myself, but I felt lonely as soon as she left.
I reached the summit quickly, had a look round, decided the historical research had not been worth the effort, and scrambled back down to Helena.
She had spread out a cloak and was sitting there with her sandals unstrapped, lost in thought. When she glanced round I deliberately let her see me making an inventory. She was wearing a pale-green gown which showed off the fact she was well worth showing off. Her hair was parted and twisted the way I had once liked it, above simple gold ear-rings. If she coloured her face it was subtle enough not to show. A pity I could not convince myself she had planned this neat effect for me.
'Did you reach the top? What was it like?'
'Oh, a cone-shaped peak with a huge rocky depression, and great fissures full of wild vines. That must have been how the rebel army made their escape when Crassus evicted them-'
'Is Spartacus a hero of yours?'
'Anyone who fights the Establishment is a hero of mine.' None of this was the point at issue so I sounded terse. 'Well, what is this merry jaunt about?'
'A chance to speak to you privately-'
'Barnabas?'
'Yes and no. I met him yesterday,' Helena confessed, her restraint admonishing my harshness. 'It was perfectly civilized; we sat in the garden, and I had honey cakes. He wanted to see me. He has no money, for one thing-'
That angered me. 'You were divorced from his patron. He has no right to sponge off you!'
'No,' she said, after an odd pause.
'You never gave him cash?' I accused.
'No.' I waited. 'The situation is complicated,' she told me, still in that washed-out voice; I continued to stare her out. 'But I may be short of funds myself-'
I could not envisage Helena in financial straits. She had inherited land from a female relation, then after her divorce her father had given her part of the dowry her ex-husband had returned. Pertinax himself had bequeathed her a small fortune in precious spice. So she was richer than most women, and Helena Justina was not the type to squander it on tiaras or to give away thousands to some seedy religious sect.
'Unless you want to flirt with a very demanding ballet dancer, I can't see you strapped for cash!'
'Ah well…' She ducked the issue stubbornly. 'Now you tell me something. What happened at the Villa Poppaea that upset you so bitterly?'
'Nothing that matters.'
'Something about me?' she persisted.
I could never resist Helena's earnestness; I let out abruptly, 'Do you sleep with Aemilius Rufus?'
'No,' she said.
She could have answered, 'Of course not; don't be stupid.' It would have sounded much stronger, though I would have believed her less.
I did believe her. 'Forget I asked. Look, next time you take honey cakes with Barnabas, I'll be behind the pergola.' Her silence jarred me. 'Lady, he's a fugitive-'
'Not now. Let me deal with him. Somebody has to bring him back to the real world-'
I was overwhelmed with fondness for her dogged way of doing things. 'Helena Justina, you cannot take every problem in the Empire onto yourself!'
'I feel responsible…' Her face remained strangely remote as she argued with me. 'Don't you harass me, on top of all my other troubles-'
'What troubles?'
'Nothing. Do your work for the Emperor, then we can attend to Barnabas.'
'My work can wait; I'm looking after you-'
'I can do that myself!' she suddenly exploded, astonishing me. 'Always. I shall have to-as I fully realize!'
I felt my jaw harden. 'You're talking nonsense.'
'No, I'm speaking the truth! You know nothing about me; you never wanted to. Lead your own life how you choose-but how could you say what you did about Rufus? How could you think that?
I had never seen Helena so hurt. I was so used to insulting her, I had failed to notice that for once her tolerance had snapped.
'Look, it was none of my business-'
'Nothing about me is any of your business! Go away, Falco!'
'Well that sounds like the sort of instruction I can understand!' I felt so helpless I lost my temper too. I thundered blackly, 'You hired me because I was good-too good to waste my time on a client who will never confide in me.' Helena made no answer. I walked over to the donkey. 'I'm going back. I'm taking the donkey. Are you coming with me sensibly, or staying on this mountain by yourself?' More silence.
I unhitched the animal and climbed aboard.
'Don't worry,' I said unpleasantly. 'If a wild boar steps out of the undergrowth, just roar at him the way you roar at me.'
Helena Justina neither moved nor answered me, so I started down the mountain without looking back.