He had a Midwestern twang that could penetrate concrete. His name was Robert Dastrow. He had short, almost crew-cut blond hair, wire-rimmed glasses, and a white shirt with a tightly knotted blue tie. His sleeves were rolled up and his gray pants were smudged with engine grease. Four pencils, two pens, a slide rule, and a calculator bulged from his shirt pocket.
He was gathering information about the disaster and he seemed to know Cyclod B in detail, what went wrong, and what could be done to prevent further accidents. He wanted to know first, however, who Remo and Chiun were. He did not like strangers hanging around while he discussed company business.
"They are never strangers in my house," said Palul. "They are friends. Glorified and welcomed."
"Yeah, well, you can keep your glory business. I have to work with details. Where are they?"
"Sleeping," said Palul.
"No we're not," said Remo, entering the room.
"Good. Who are you?" said Dastrow.
"The voice of Christmas past. Who are you and what are you doing here?"
"I'm an engineer. Dastrow's the name. Robert Dastrow. D like in Diameter, A like Aerial, S like Sine, T like Trigonometry, R like Radius, O like Orbit, W like Wrench."
"Do you have to talk to communicate? Your voice is the most unpleasant thing I've ever heard."
"It's clear, isn't it?" said Dastrow. It sounded like a hundred wires being rubbed simultaneously. Remo's skin turned to gooseflesh at the sound.
"All right. What do you want? Just get out of here. "
"Most people feel that way about me," said Dastrow cheerfully.
"Just ask and then go."
"You're investigating this for who?"
"A consulting firm," said Remo.
"That's another word for your not wanting to tell me. All right, I can understand that. I've been looking around at the fine people of this fine country," said Dastrow. "A friendly, decent people you might find anywhere in Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota, or Indiana."
"Make it brief."
"You fellows seem to know your way around. You get along with the natives. You were all over. Everyone who was anyone seemed to end up in Mr. Palul's office with you. Everyone but a housewife you visited. Golly, you certainly are experienced travelers."
"What do you want?" said Remo, toying with the idea of collapsing the man's larynx. If he collapsed the larynx, the twang would not resonate on his eardrums. He wondered if Chiun minded it as much as he.
It was not the Midwest accent that bothered Remo. He liked it. But this man seemed to be cutting glass with every word he spoke.
"I just have one request, from a fellow engineer. Would you fix this Roentgen gauge? It's microchip-activated, of course."
"What?" said Remo, looking at a small metal box with a window and a gauge on it. "I don't know what that is."
"How about your fine friend?" asked Dastrow. "He doesn't know mechanical things that well either. We're social-environment consultants."
"All righty. Thank you for your time, " said Dastrow with the same unflagging cheery boosterism with which he seemed to greet everyone and everything.
As he left the house, he told Palul that a little grease under the latch would probably save it for five more years. And that he should look at rewiring the house. The Indian climate was not kind to electrical equipment.
He also fixed an old Mercedes truck on his way out the driveway, a truck a driver was having trouble getting started, just by seemingly touching one wire to the other.
"Who was that?" asked Chiun.
"No one," said Remo.
"That is just who we are looking for," said Chiun.
Chapter 6
Robert Dastrow whistled while he worked. He knew it bothered people but he always bothered people. Robert Dastrow bothered everyone but his parents.
Robert understood early that he was never going to win a popularity contest. At school dances he was the one who made sure Grand Island Nebraska High School had a public-address system that didn't make whooming noises. He did not have dates. Not that he didn't ask. Not that he didn't approach the problem in a systematic manner.
In fact, because he was so systematic he knew there wasn't a single girl who would go out with him, except perhaps the most beautiful one in school. Unfortunately, she was the one always involved in social causes. She was willing to go out with him as a favor.
"I didn't want favors from anyone, least of all someone I might want to marry and raise a family wth. "
"I just was willing to go out with you. I didn't mention anything about marriage."
"I don't want favors. I don't want favors from anyone. I don't need favors."
"Well, I do feel sorry for you."
"I don't want people feeling sorry for me. I am the most capable person you have ever met. And if you hitch up to me, I'll make you rich. You'll never want for anything."
"Actually, Robert, I'm sorry to say, the only thing I want from you is to spend absolutely no more than an evening with you."
"Keep your favors. You'll see. I'll be the most employable graduate of this high school."
"I'm sure you will, Robert. Everyone says you know how to make anything work."
"And someday I'll know how to make people work, too. You'll see. I'll have the most beautiful women. "
Robert was only partly right. He ultimately did get beautiful women, but his career did not go smoothly at all. Despite his high marks in both high school and college, despite the fact that he successfully held many jobs to work his way through his degree, despite the fact that he scored at the very highest level on engineering aptitude, Robert Dastrow was virtually unemployable in the United States of the 1970's.
Every interview was almost the same. The personnel officer would be impressed with the young graduate and his high marks. He would be impressed with the young man's alertness, enthusiasm, and energy.
And then he would ask what Robert's specialty was.
"I just make things work," Dastrow would say. "I know how to make things work."
"Design engineering then?"
"Well, no. I'm not all that good at inventing. But you show me something somebody else has made and I'll show you how to make it work perfectly. I'll show you what's right or wrong about it. What's good and bad about it. I'll make it go. I'll make it hum. I'll make it buzz."