“Miss Everly, now.” Mr. Meade pointed to the door, as if I had forgotten how to leave and that’s what was holding me back.
“Fine,” I huffed and shoved my books into my bookbag. I don’t know why I even took my books out, since I had designated History as my afternoon nap time.
“She’s just lucky she didn’t drown in her own drool,” Tegan sneered as I made my way towards the door.
Restraint had never been my strong suit, but I was really working on it.
I gripped the strap of my bookbag tightly and gritted my teeth as I walked out of the class, but I didn’t pause or look back. You cannot punch Tegan in the face, you cannot punch Tegan in the face, I kept repeating over and over in my head. It had basically been my mantra since I started here, but it was getting harder and harder to uphold.
I walked slowly down the hall towards the principal’s office, admiring the battered lockers. There were bright colored fliers posted everywhere, telling everyone to join the Debate team, try out for the school play, and not to miss the fall semi-formal this Friday. I wondered what a “semi-formal” consisted of at a public school, but I hadn’t bothered to ask anyone. Besides that, since I had never been to a dance of any kind, I had nothing to compare it to.
The principal’s secretary was a pudgy woman with dark curly hair, and she gave me the same severe look over her glasses that she did every time I came in the office. It was neither disappointed nor disapproving, but rather just as she expected. I could almost imagine her pleading with the principal not to accept me before I started. “No, no, not this one. She’s a bad egg,” she’d say until she was red in the face.
Without saying a word, she picked up the phone to let the principal know I was here. The principal had yet to yell at me, but he always looked at me with that same mixture of concern and pity that everyone gave me. Well, everyone that knew about my mother at least. As if every misdeed in my entire life could be explained away and forgiven because of a single day in my childhood.
“The principal is in meetings all afternoon,” his secretary told me after she set down the receiver. “He said to go see the counselor.”
“Right,” I sighed. That had been his go-to lately, meaning he was giving up hope.
Seeing the counselor was definitely worse than seeing the principal, but I guess that made it a more fitting punishment. Her office was two doors down from him, and it was always physically open, to represent her open-door policy.
Tentatively, I knocked on her partially open door, hoping that she too was locked in meetings all afternoon.
“Come in!” Ms. Page called, and I grimaced inwardly and stepped inside her office. She had been doing something in one of her drawers, but she looked up when I walked in, and her expression fell. “Wendy.”
“Hey,” I gave her a half-wave and immediately felt stupid after I did it.
“Have a seat,” Ms. Page smiled grimly at me and straightened a loose strand of her strawberry blond curls. The flashy diamond on her finger assured me that she was engaged, which explained her irrational happiness and optimism. I could tell that I was starting to wear down on that. Somehow that made me feel an odd blend of pride and guilt.
I closed the door behind me, then sat down in the semi-padded chair across from her and dropped my bookbag by my feet with a heavy thud. Ms.
Page crossed her hands on her desk and waited for me to talk, which was a silly move on her part.
“So…” Ms. Page said at length, when the silence had dragged on too long for her. “What brings you here this time?”
“I fell asleep in Mr. Meade’s class,” I answered.
I wasn’t nervous, but I felt I should play the part, so I looked down at my hands and started twisting the platinum ring I always wore on my thumb.
Fashion had always seemed like a totally alien concept to me, so I tended to just load up on whatever seemed like a good idea. Today that meant jean skirt to my knees and a long-sleeved curve-hugging sweater. I had kicked off my skimmers almost as soon as I sat down out of my massive hatred of shoes.
“Again?” Her voice rang with that familiar tone, and I exhaled loudly.
“Wendy, why do you keep doing this? I know you’re bright. Your tests show your IQ is above 140, but you’re not on track for graduation. You’re failing most of your classes, and you only transferred here a month ago.”
“I know, I know.” I twisted around my thumb ring and slumped lower in the seat.
“Do you want to graduate, Wendy?” Ms. Page asked pointedly. “I know you don’t want to be here, but you don’t seem to be in a hurry to get out of here. Do you have any plans after high school?”
“Backpacking in Europe,” I replied flippantly, even though I had no intention to travel. As if Matt would let me go anywhere anyway.
“Is that why you’re not applying yourself? Because you’re afraid of what comes after?” She was desperately trying to delve into the many layers of me, but there really weren’t that many layers. People were often under the mistaken impression that I was far more complicated than I really was.
“I’m not afraid of anything,” I muttered. I had cut my legs shaving last night, and I absently picked at the giant Transformers Band-Aid that covered my wound.
“Wendy, we both know that’s not true,” Ms. Page admonished me gently.
“How do you know it’s not true? You barely know me. You just met me!” I hadn’t meant to snap at her, but I was growing irritated. A headache was lurking just behind my eyes and I rubbed my temples tiredly.
“Everyone is afraid of something,” Ms. Page insisted, trying not to let on that my outburst had bothered her. “I’m deathly afraid of spiders.”
“I’m not.” It sounded glib, but I really wasn’t. I wasn’t afraid of any of the normal things kids were. “And even if I were, that seems like an awfully shallow examination. Like 90% of the population is afraid of spiders. What’s that prove?”
“It doesn’t prove anything,” Ms. Page allowed. “But you make an interesting point. Nearly everyone is afraid of spiders. Except you.” She paused to let that sink in, as if I would go, oh boy, you got me there. “You make a point of trying to stand out, to be different than everyone else.”
“Nope, I don’t,” I shook my head. “I just am different. I don’t try. It’s just the way it is. And it doesn’t really bother me.”
“It doesn’t?” She raised any eyebrow. “Is that why you’ve gotten suspended from every school you’ve gone to for having altercations with fellow students?”
“They don’t like me. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna put up with their attitude,” I shrugged.
As soon as I said it, I knew I sounded like a paranoid psycho who thought everyone was out to get me, but I didn’t bother to correct it. Nobody was out to get me. Well, maybe that bitch Tegan would revel in something bad happening to me, but there wasn’t a conspiracy ruining my life. I just didn’t put up with people, and that’s why I’d gotten kicked out of every private school on the East coast.
“We have a really diversified student body here, and I think it would be really good for you to try and make the best of it.” She was practically reciting the same speech she’d given me the first time we met, but I just nodded like it was new information. “And even if you can’t get along with your classmates, you can at least focus on your studies. If you played your cards right, you could be graduating in six months, and I know how much you want out of here.” She was playing to my weakness, and that was pretty smart of her, so I nodded more seriously.
“Okay. I will. I’ll at least try to stay awake in class,” I amended with a smile.
Finally, she let me go. I scooped up my bag, slipped on my shoes, and dashed out into the hall.
When the final bell finally rang at three o’clock, I was always the first one out I pushed through the doors going outside, I heard someone calling my name, but I didn’t look back. Against my better judgment, I decided to slow down, though, and Patrick quickly jogged up to me.
“Hey, Wendy!” Patrick gave me his goofy grin as he matched my pace.
He was about a foot taller than me with thick, auburn hair that he was always pushing out of his face. While he wasn’t unattractive exactly, there was something too clumsy about him to be sexy. For some reason, he seemed to fancy us as friends, and he was harmless enough, so I decided to try it out.
“Hey.” I readjusted the straps on my bag and looked up at him as he brushed his heavy bangs from his eyes.
“I heard you got sent to the principal’s office,” Patrick sounded apologetic.
“Word travels fast,” I grumbled.
We had reached the parking lot at the end of the lawn, so I stopped. I hadn’t looked around, but I knew that Matt was waiting somewhere nearby to pick me up. It would’ve been an honest enough excuse that I had to meet him, but I decided to try and finish the conversation with Patrick.
“Tegan has a huge mouth,” Patrick agreed with a knowing smile.
“That she does.” A rebellious curl had escaped from the messy bun I had my hair in, and I tucked it behind my ears. “It was no big deal really. I just fell asleep in Meade’s class.”