“What do I need pajamas for?” I sat up, and I tried to sound flirty, but I knew there was a panicked edge to it. As soon as we’d come in here, I thought things were going to go much farther than pajamas would allow.
“I’ll stay with you tonight,” Finn tried to reassure me. “But nothing more can happen except for sleep.”
“Why?” I pressed.
“I’m here,” Finn looked at me intently. “Isn’t that enough?”
I nodded and carefully climbed out of the bed. I stood in front of him so he could unzip my dress, and I felt his hands linger on my skin. Truthfully, I didn’t understand what was going on, but I would be happy for anything I had with him. After I changed into my pajamas, I climbed back into bed with him.
He stayed sitting on the edge for a minute, then almost reluctantly, he came over to me. I curled up in his arms, burying my head in his chest, and he held me tightly to him. Gently, he kissed the top of my head. Nothing had ever felt better than being with him like that, and I tried to stay up so I could relish every minute, but eventually, my body gave out and passed out.
In the morning, I woke up to Elora coming in my room for the first time ever. She was wearing pants, something else I had never seen her in. They were very fashionable, but they were pants. I was still curled up in Finn’s arms, and she didn’t seem surprised or that offended by it. I thought I was finally making progress when I moved a little bit away from him to look at her.
“I trust you slept well.” Elora looked around the room, but not in a nervous way. She had just never been here before. “And I trust that Finn was a gentleman.”
“He always is,” I yawned.
He had started pulling away from me and getting out of the bed. I furrowed my brow but didn’t say anything. It wasn’t that shocking that she’d be upset that we were together, so I didn’t think that much of it when Finn started to gather up his jacket and sweater.
“Thank you for protecting my daughter,” Elora said without looking at him. He had paused at the doorway, and he looked back at me, his dark eyes looking more conflicted than I had ever seen them before. He nodded, then turned and walked out of my room, shutting the door behind him.
“Well, you took that much better than I thought you would,” I admitted, sitting up.
“He’s not coming back,” Elora finally turned to look at me.
“What?” I stared at the door in dismay.
“He saved your life, so I gave him last night to say goodbye to you,” Elora explained. “I will be transferring him out of here as soon as possible.”
“You mean he knew?” I gaped at her. He had known, and hadn’t let me in on it, and hadn’t tried to steal me away.
“Yes. I made the agreement with him last night,” Elora said.
“But… he saved my life!” I insisted, feeling that terrifying lump grow in my chest. The one that said I couldn’t possibly survive without Finn. “He should be here to protect me!”
“He is emotionally compromised and unsuitable for the job,” Elora explained flatly. “Not only that, if he stayed around, you would be banished from Förening. He doesn’t want that, and neither do I.” She sighed. “I shouldn’t even have given him last night, but… I don’t want to know what you did with him. Don’t tell me. Don’t tell anyone. Is that clear?”
“Nothing happened,” I shook my head. “But I want him back. He’s going to protect me better than anyone! If you want me alive, he’s the best bet!”
“Let me put it to you this way: he will do anything to keep you alive, Princess,” Elora looked at me evenly. “That means he would die to save you, without hesitation. Do you really want that? Do you really want him to die because of you?”
“No…” I trailed off, looking dazedly at my blankets. I knew she was right. Last night he had almost died to save me. If Tove hadn’t come out, he would be dead.
“Very well. It’s in his best interest that he’s not around you, either,” Elora said. “Now, you need to get up and get ready. We have much to go over.”
The next few days were an endless stream of defense meetings. There hadn’t been an attack this severe on Förening ever. Elora and Aurora led all the meetings, while Tove and I sat quietly in the back. He was the most powerful and should’ve had more of a say, but he didn’t seem that interested. The twenty or so other people that always seemed to be attendance offered advice that was completely pointless. Tove just told me that my best defense was getting my abilities under control.
I felt like a shell of myself. In truth, I didn’t care whether I lived or died. If they attacked again, I would deal with whatever happened. Willa was busy working on self-defense classes and trying to get a better control of her wind ability. Elora barely spoke to me, and never uttered a kind word. I wandered around in a daze, and I couldn’t imagine that things would ever get better.
“You’re gonna have to snap out of this one day,” Rhys said. I was laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, and he leaned against the doorway, looking at me. He still had a nasty cut above his eyebrow, since Aurora wouldn’t resort to healing a mänks. It was healing okay, but it always pained me to see it. It was just a reminder that he had gotten hurt for me.
“Maybe.” I didn’t feel like I ever would, and I hoped I didn’t.
“Oh come on,” Rhys sighed and came over to sit on the bed next to me. “I know that everything’s that’s happened has really taken its toll on you, but it’s not the end of the world.”
“I never said it was,” I muttered. “I just hate this house. I hate this town. I hate my mother. I hate being a Princess. I hate everything about being here!”
“Even me?” Rhys asked honestly.
“No, of course not you,” I shook my head. “You’re about the only thing I like anymore.”
“I feel privileged,” he smiled at me, but when I didn’t smile back, his quickly faded. “Look, I hate it here too. It’s a hard place to live, especially this house, with Elora. But… what else are we gonna do? Where else can we go?”
That’s when it occurred to me. I absolutely did not want this life, and this life truly didn’t want Rhys. Not only that, I didn’t particularly care whether I lived or died. I didn’t need protection, should anyone decide to come after me again, but I wasn’t so sure they would anymore. Tove had explained that the Vittra numbers had been damaged, and another attack any time soon would be highly unlikely.
But somewhere out there, I knew that my brother Matt was sitting, worried sick about me. He and Maggie would welcome me back with open arms, and they would be delighted to have Rhys. I didn’t know how I would explain him to them, but I’d figure something out. I missed them both terribly, and I was sick of the cold, confusing isolation of the Trylle life. I was not a Princess, and I didn’t want to be one. They said they would never force it on me, and it would feel so good to be home again. That wouldn’t really fix the Finn thing, but they would know the best way to mend a broken heart.
Rhys wasn’t so easily convinced that leaving was the best thing for me.
After all, he had been unable to even fight against the Vittra. Reluctantly, I resorted to using my persuasion, but I didn’t really have another choice. He was okay with leaving himself; he was just worried about me. So all I was really convincing him is that he didn’t need to worry about me.
In the middle of the night, we crept out and got onto his new motorcycle. It wasn’t the same one I had stolen before, because that was still in the police impound. Apparently, Rhys literally got whatever he wanted. He sped off into the darkness, and I sat on the bike behind him, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist and burying my face in his leather jacket. I could feel his heartbeat speed up every time I squeezed onto him, but I pretended not to notice.
Going back home to my host family might not be the safest move in the world. I knew that. But I knew that Rhys deserved happiness, and his only chance at that was with Matt and Maggie, who were just as desperate for him as he was for them. Not only that, I missed them terribly, and I needed a break from the ice queen.
There was one other thing. I had a feeling that Finn hadn’t stopped tracking me yet. And maybe the only way I could see him again is if I ran away or got into some trouble. If he didn’t come after me, that wasn’t the end of the world. But if he did… well, that’s just an added bonus, isn’t it?