Ignoring the shrieks of pain, Don Cooder moved through frost-rimmed stone corridors to a stainless-steel door like a walk-in freezer and yanked on the handle. A blast of cold air wafted out, along with the chill dead smell of frozen meat.
They entered a small cave. Past shelves of frozen steaks and chicken parts, they pushed to the dimly lighted rear of the natural freezer.
Cooder knelt beside two motionless figures.
"They look kinda blue," he muttered.
Feldmeyer said, "They weren't dead when I looked in on them last."
Cooder put his ear to the still chest of Jed Burner.
"This man's heart is beating like a stone, which is to say it's not."
"Oh God, I didn't count on murder." "Shush. Let me check on old Haiphong Hannah." Cooder listened, his face contorting. "I got a beat."
"Great. Thank God."
"Okay, let's get them into the control room."
Rattling his chains with every step, Don Cooder lugged Haiphong Hannah down the corridor to the control room and dumped her into one of the console seats. Jed Burner was dropped into the other, not quite fitting because his joints had stiffened.
"Where's the damn helmets?" Cooder demanded, looking around.
Feldmeyer pointed unsteadily. "In that cabinet. Why?"
"We're going to set it up so that it looks like they're the black hats. Why do you think I had you abduct them in the first place?"
"Will it work, Don?"
"Burner's dead and Haiphong Hannah's got the credibility of Saddam Hussein. How can it fail?"
Shrugging, Frank Feldmeyer helped Cooder set the Captain Audion helmet over Jed Burner's frost-rimmed head.
"Now let's get old Hannah set up and this thing is in the barn."
When they were done, two television-headed figures sat at the console that controlled the most powerful broadcast TV signal on earth.
"Okay," Cooder said panting, "let me have your gun."
"Why?"
"I'm going to shoot Burner."
"Why?"
"Why? The low-down goat roper had the nerve to ask 'Who the hell is Don Cooder?' when I was holding onto the Chair by my sphincter. Made me a laughing stock. Nearly ruined my career at a crucial time."
"No, I mean what good will it do?"
"Dead men tell no tales."
Then the ringing of steel stair treads came from beyond the open door.
"That's the Mounties," Cooder snapped. "Right on cue. We gotta shoot them right now or it's boot hill for us both."
"I can't shoot anyone," Feldmeyer said shakily.
"Tell you what, you shoot Burner. He's already dead. And I'll shoot Hannah. Deal?"
"O-okay."
Together, the two men lifted their weapons and pointed them at the unmoving backs of their targets.
"Count of three," Cooder said.
Swallowing hard, Feldmeyer nodded.
"One!"
"Two!"
"Three!"
Closing his eyes, Frank Feldmeyer steeled himself to pump a single round into the cold back of Jed Burner, and never opened them again.
The roar of Don Cooder's pistol in his ear reached his eardrum just as the bullet had gouged out one ear canal and exited the other in a spray of grayish curd.
Cooder emptied the cylinder into the back of Haiphong Hannah's head, shattering her screen with its steady NO SIGNAL message.
Taking the dead hand of Jed Burner in his, he wrapped the stiffened fingers around a black handle marked DESTRUCT and pulled hard. A red digital timer began counting backward from 00:00:10.
Calmly, he wiped the gun free of fingerprints and placed it in Frank Feldmeyer's still-twitching hand. From the floor, he took the automatic that had killed no one, squeezed the grip so he left crystal clear prints, lifted both manacled hands to the ceiling, and patiently whistled "Cowboy's Lament" as the Mounties pounded up the spiral stairs.
The shrieking of Cheeta Ching in the torment of childbirth filled the corridor.
"Damn," he muttered. "Forgot one. Oh, well. Next time."
The digital timer reached 00:00:00.
From far above, there came an explosive sound muffled by tons of granite.
Chapter 36
The sleek black shape of the Stealth bomber rolled to a whining, bumpy stop, and a hatch popped open.
"Wait for us," Remo called over his shoulder as he followed the Master of Sinanju out into the coldest, most inhospitable expanse he had seen outside of Outer Mongolia.