"Don't panic yet. Listen."
"We are controlling transmission .... We will control the horizontal .... We will control the vertical .... We can change the focus to a soft blur . . . "
The TV screen remained black, the NO SIGNAL message unwavering.
"Or sharpen it to crystal clarity . . . ."
"Wait a minute," Remo said suddenly. "I recognize this. It's the opening to an old TV show, The Outer Limits."
"I see only blackness," Chiun said, frowning.
"We're getting the audio signal. But no video."
"I do not know this audio-video mumbo jumbo," Chiun spat.
Remo tried changing the channel. Every station was the same. Even the New Hampshire and Rhode Island stations which they normally couldn't get or which came in full of snow. There was no difference in picture quality.
Chiun's eye went to a wall clock whose second hand moved in time to the cartoon cat's eyes and wagging tail. "It has already started!"
"Relax. This is a reception problem. If we can't pick it up, I'll bet no one can."
As Remo ran up and down the channels, the sonorous voice had fallen silent. Static hissed steadily.
"Well?" Chiun said impatiently.
"Hold it. What do you think I am?"
"A white. Therefore one who understands machines."
"Well, I don't understand this machine. Every channel is the same." Then the voice began speaking again.
"Do not attempt to adjust the picture."
"Something's wrong," Remo said slowly.
"Yes! I cannot watch television."
"No, this Outer Limits thing is back on, but I'm on a different channel now."
"The trouble is not in your-"
Remo switched channels.
" set. We control the-"
"-horizontal. We con-"
"-rol the vertical. "
"This is weird," Remo muttered. "Whatever's doing this, it's on every channel."
"I can see this!" Chiun wailed, beseeching the ceiling with upraised arms. "I wish to see Cheeta instead."
"Uh-oh," Remo muttered.
Chiun dropped his arms. "What?"
Remo hesitated. A few months ago, there had been a grave Cuban-American crisis. The Havana government, in retaliation for what it wrongly believed was a latter-day Bay of Pigs invasion, had stepped up its government broadcast power and overwhelmed all TV in south Florida. As it happened, the counterattack had interrupted a Cheeta Ching newscast-thereby incurring the bitter enmity of the Master of Sinanju. The matter had been resolved without Chiun having fulfilled his vow to decapitate the Cuban leader. If it were happening again, Remo knew there would be no stopping Chiun this time.
"Maybe I should call Smith about this," Remo said quickly.
"Yes! Yes! Call Smith. Smith will know. Ask if he has had word of Cheeta. Ask if he will tape all news of Cheeta, that I might miss none of it."
"All right, all right. Let me dial in peace."
There was a wall phone and Remo picked up the receiver, one eye on the Master of Sinanju, who stood before the blank-faced TV set as if looking upon an injured pet. His eyes were stricken.
Remo was about to press down on the one button-the foolproof code by which he could reach his superior-when abruptly the screech-owl sound of Cheeta Ching's voice filled the kitchen.
"This is the BCN Evening News with Don Cooder. Cheeta Ching reporting. Don is off tonight."
"Cheeta!" Chiun crowed. "It is Cheeta! My ancestors have heard me. My prayers have been answered."
"If they have," Remo growled, "they must have a heck of a lot of pull with the FCC."
"Hush."
Remo left the phone and came to Chiun's side.
"Tonight," Cheeta Ching was saying, "BCN Evening News was blacked out nationwide just as a search for missing anchor Don Cooder was called off."
"You lying witch!" a voice cried from offstage. "You said your water broke!"
"Wasn't that Cooder's voice?" Remo said.
"Hush!"
"As yet," Cheeta continued unperturbed, "no clear understanding of the electronic disturbance has been ascertained. There are reports, unconfirmed at this time, that the broadcast blackout was not confined to BCN."
"It wasn't my fault!" Don Cooder's disembodied voice cried.
"That was Cooder," said Remo. "Where is he?"
"Remo!"
"In our efforts to stay on top of the headlines, BCN has video of the unprecedented phenomenon."