"Kill for Kali," came the chant from the outer room. "Kill, kill, kill."
Baynes hung up the phone, and when Ban Sar Din's eyes questioned him, he explained: "That was my next-door neighbor, Herb Palmer. I'm sending the wife and kids and him and his wife on vacation to Paris. I don't think Kali wants us only to work and ... well, these tickets came into our hands ... so why not?"
"Why not indeed?" Ban Sar Din said. This was something he understood. Petty theft. Baynes was taking five of the ashram's tickets for personal use. It was worth it, just to know that the man was human after all.
"Unless you think I shouldn't?" Baynes said. "Unless you think there's something wrong?"
"No, no," Ban Sar Din singsonged back. "Nothing wrong. A vacation will do your family good."
He was brushed aside by Baynes's two children, who marched into the office, followed by Mrs. Baynes. "Kill for Kali," Joshua Baynes intoned in his most serious voice. He picked up a bottle of ink and upended it on Baynes' desk.
"Isn't he cute?" Mrs. Baynes said.
"Kill, kill, kill." Joshua made a paper airplane out of Baynes' computer printout.
"He sounds so darned grown-up already," Mrs. Baynes said, her eyes moistening.
The Baynes girl belched.
"They've lost so many of their inhibitions since they got here," Mrs. Baynes said, blowing kisses to her youngsters. "All this killing talk is keeping them off the streets, A. H. I am absolutely positive that Joshua has no desire to drink hard liquor or to experiment with girls."
"Kill," Joshua chanted.
"Isn't that sweet?" said Mrs. Baynes.
"Warms my heart," Baynes said.
"And you haven't noticed," the woman said accusingly.
"Noticed what?"
"My sari." She twirled in the center of the office. "You see, I've adapted to my new life-style, A.H. I don't need designer clothes or charity balls or a live-in maid. That motel down the block is fine for me. I've followed my husband to enjoy the spiritual fruits of a simpler life. Aren't you proud of me, dear?"
The chanting from the outside room was so loud now that Ban Sar Din went out to ask them to quiet down before someone called the police. His request resulted in an incense pot being thrown in his general direction, and he went back into the office, just as Baynes was telling his wife: "And Herb Palmer and Emmie are going too. I thought it would be a nice break for you and the kids."
"I want to stay here and kill for Kali," Joshua said sullenly.
"Me too," said the daughter.
"How they go on," Mrs. Baynes said with a smile.
"Don't worry," Baynes said. "I'll convince them."
He ushered his wife out of the office and looked at Ban Sar Din, who said, "They don't even listen to me anymore. Someone's going to call the police."
"Maybe they'll listen to me," Baynes said. "They know I'm one of them."
"Why should they listen to you?" said Ban Sar Din. "You're not even holy."
"Then make me holy," Baynes said.
The Indian shook his head. "You come in here, a walk-in, you take over my office with your computers, you encourage other walk-ins at our services. I don't think you're ready to be a Holy One."
"Maybe I should ask the people outside?" Baynes said. He started for the door.
"Welcome to the ranks of the holy, O Chief Phansigar," Ban Sar Din said, then sullenly traipsed out of the office to go back to his apartment across the alley. He saw Baynes put a big arm around the shoulders of his two children and pull them to him, just before he closed the office door.
A. H. Baynes stood on the raised platform next to the statue of Kali and looked out over the crowd in the ashram. It seemed as if every square foot of floor space was filled. The goddess was attracting new followers every day, and he felt proud of himself for the part he had played.
"Brothers and sisters in Kali," he intoned, "I am your new chief phansigar."
"Kill for Kali," someone murmured softly.
"That's right," Baynes said. "And She has provided us the means."
He waved the sheaf of airline tickets over his head. "This is a whole planeful of tickets for Air Europa, going to Paris," he said. "A whole planeful. Kali provided. "
"She always provides," said Holly Rodan.
"She loves it," someone else said.
"This is how we're going to use them," Baynes said. "Europa's got two planes leaving for Paris, just an hour apart. These tickets are for the first plane. All of you are going to fill up that plane and go over there, and then when the second plane lands, you're each going to latch on to somebody from that plane and do Kali's work. I don't want anybody who was on that second plane to be coming back to the United States," Baynes said. "Not one. That was what She meant when She gave us a full planeload of tickets."
"She is wise," murmured someone in the front row.
"So is our chief phansigar," someone else said, and for a moment they all chanted, "Hail our chief phansigar," until Baynes blushed and stopped them with a wave of his hand.
"We only reflect Her glory," he said, and then bowed his head as the wave upon wave of chants filled the room.
"Kill for Kali."
When the excitement had reached a fever pitch, Baynes tossed the batch of plane tickets out among the faithful, and a jubilant roar rushed from the throats of the disciples.
Baynes picked out his son among the crowd. The boy was standing with his arms folded, his Europa ticket held between thumb and forefinger. Baynes winked and the boy responded with a knowing nod.
Chapter Fourteen
The devotees had gone and the ashram's door was locked. Outside on the street, horns blared and people were singing. It was ten o'clock in the morning and drunks were already shouting to one another in the street.
"Sardine! Sardine!" bellowed A. H. Baynes. "You get your fat ass in here."
Ban Sar Din stepped into his former office from his current home in the garage.
"What the hell is that racket out there?" Baynes demanded.
"It is Saturday. People in this city celebrate many strange things. Today they celebrate Saturday."