Transit officers’ quarters, Space Battle Station 39, in orbit around Jascaria planet
Without a moment’s hesitation, Michael was on his feet, folding Anna into his arms the instant she walked through the door into his cramped cabin.
“Anna,” he murmured, face buried in her neck. “Oh, Anna, Anna, Anna. .”
He stopped. Something was terribly wrong. Anna was not responding; she stood there stiff and unresponsive, arms by her side.
Michael pushed her back. “Anna?” he said, a sudden sliver of panic stabbing at his heart. This was not how it was supposed to be. “What’s up?”
Anna pulled his arms from her shoulders. With a firm shove, she pushed him away, eyes filling with tears as she sat down heavily on his bunk. Michael made to sit next to her, but her hand went up.
“No, Michael,” she said, her voice breaking. “No.”
“Anna!” Michael said desperately, stepping back, confused and afraid. “What’s the matter? For God’s sake, tell me!”
She stared at him for a long time before answering, making no effort to wipe away the tears that poured down her cheeks.
“Matter?” she said finally, her voice subdued. “What’s the matter? I’ll tell you what’s the matter. You think you can disappear for months on end? We thought you must be dead. Missing, presumed dead; that’s what they told us. And now-poof! You suddenly reappear like some sort of genie?”
“Anna,” Michael said, “that’s all in the past. That’s-”
“Shut up!” she hissed. “For once, just shut up. I don’t care what you think, I don’t care what you want, I don’t care what you say. And you know what?” She lifted her head defiantly.
“No, what?” Michael muttered miserably.
“You’re right. It is all in the past.” Her voice hardened. “It’s over, Michael. It’s over. You’re a damn fool. You can’t just walk back into my life and expect things to be back where they were. You can’t, you can’t,” she said, her voice breaking. She took a deep breath to steady herself, hands going to her face to wipe away the tears. “And I won’t let you. I thought you were dead. God help me, I thought you were dead. Far as we all knew, the Ishaq was lost and every one of her crew with her. You included. But you weren’t, and here you are again, trying to pretend that nothing has really happened.”
“Anna-”
“Don’t, Michael. Don’t say a thing. There’s nothing you can say. We’re heading for another fight with those damned Hammers, and I can’t, I won’t stand around wondering if I’m going to lose you all over again. I can’t go through that. I can’t. I just can’t.”
With that, without giving him a chance to say anything, Anna got to her feet and was gone, the cabin door hissing shut behind her with an awful finality. Stunned, Michael could only stand there openmouthed, staring at the door as his entire world crashed around him, every fiber of his body seared by flames of despair and loss, the pain so bad that he did not know how he would survive.
Two days and one massive, sanity-threatening alcoholic bender later, Michael had rationalized the pain away, even though deep inside losing Anna hurt more than anything had ever hurt before. With a mental shrug of the shoulders, he had consigned her to life’s out tray. He had made a promise to Corporal Yazdi, and he was going to keep it.
That was what was important right now.