C'ARINA woke at dawn. She shook her head, —-trying to separate the reality of the night before from the dreams that had made her sleep sparse and fitful. Her bare feet had hardly touched the cold floorboards before she tore her shift over her head and slipped her robes in place. Her stomach growled but she ignored it, intent on checking her patient.
Nyall sprawled snoring in a chair near the fire in Vahanian's room, rousing as she entered. She motioned for him to be quiet and indicated with a jerk of her head that he was free to join the others for breakfast. Gratefully, the river pilot abandoned his post.
Carina approached Vahanian hesitantly. She and Tris had worked until exhaustion on the healing, but there had been much left undone. She drew a chair up beside the cot and looked silently at Vahanian, afraid to discover whether he slept or had not yet regained consciousness. Carina closed her eyes and stretched out her hand, running it lightly just above his face and chest to ensure that she had overlooked nothing vital. A hand locked around her wrist with an iron grip, and her eyes snapped open to find Vahanian looking at her.
"Are you dead, too?"
"I'm not dead," she said gently. "Neither arc you. You're at Jolie's place. You're safe."
Vahanian dropped his hand, and closed his eyes. "How?" he managed with a dry mouth.
Carina fetched a glass of water from a pitcher on the nightstand and helped him sit enough to take a drink.
"Tris bent a few rules to go after you," she said, settling him again.
"Arontala—"
"Tris managed to do it without much magic. With some help from Sakwi and Carroway."
"The Goddess," Vahanian murmured. "I saw—"
"You saw one of the river ghosts," Carina explained, wetting a cloth and laying it across his forehead. She checked his bandages as she spoke, then nudged him onto his side to assure herself that the welts on his back were healing nicely. "The rider was Tris. Sakwi managed the fog, and Carroway handled the disguise. I wouldn't be surprised if Sakwi sleeps for a week, after what we've put him through."
"I didn't think... anyone would come."
Carina bit her lip as tears filled her eyes unbidden. "Did you really think we'd leave you there?"
"It was too much of a risk."
"And what you did wasn't a risk?"
"Now we're even," he replied weakly. "Truce?"
"Truce." She broke the awkward pause by standing. "Well," she said professionally, "you need to sleep. I'll just go downstairs—"
Vahanian held out a hand to her. "Stay with me. Please."
She moved a step closer and reached out to take his hand. He said nothing, but his whole form relaxed. Within moments, the regular pattern of his breathing told her that he was asleep. She looked down at his hand, cut and bruised from his ordeal, and beneath those wounds, older scars. Maybe we're not quite so different after all, she thought, placing her other hand gently atop his. She settled down in the chair, resting his hand in her lap, and dozed in the warmth of the fire.
Vahanian woke with a start some candlemarks later, and Carina laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder. She glimpsed fear in his eyes, enough to tell her that his sleep had been uneasy, his dreams haunted. "You're safe. No one can harm you here."
"Get Tris," he said urgently. He tried to sit up, discovered his folly, and lay back again. "I have to tell him something important."
"You need to rest."
"This is important. Nargi... in Margolan..."
"All right. I'll get him—if you promise not to move."
"Promise," Vahanian replied, his voice lacking its usual timbre. "You have my word."
Carina found the others in the back room, readying gear for the rest of the march south. Kiara and Tris were mending some leather armor that Jolie had "found" for them. Carroway had just returned from tending the horses. Nyall made himself useful reprovisioning their packs with dried meats, fruits, and cheese, together with the other necessities they would need for the ride. Sakwi dozed in a chair near the fire, his sleep interrupted by deep coughs.
"How's Jonmarc?" Tris asked. Kiara rose to ladle out a bowlful of warm porridge from a pot on the fire and bring it to her cousin.
"He's awake. And I think he's out of danger. He'll be sore for a while, and it will probably be a few days before he's ready to ride, but he'll be all right after I do some more healing today." Carroway poured a cup of steaming kerif from a kettle on the hearth for himself and brought a cup to Carina, which she accepted eagerly. "He says he has to see you, Tris. Something about Nargi in Margolan."
Tris and Kiara exchanged worried glances. "Will it hurt anything if I go up to see him now?" Tris asked.
Carina shook her head. "Please go. I'm afraid he'll try to drag himself down here if you don't."
Sakwi stirred in his chair. "I would like to hear what he has to say," the land mage said, looking only slightly recovered. "Perhaps I can help." Kiara gave the thin mage a hand up from his chair, but he waved off further assistance. Carina followed Tris up the stairs.
Vahanian had managed to prop himself up. In daylight, the bruises and cuts that marred his face looked as prominent as they had the night before. Only Carina's memory of how swollen and painful they had truly been made her able to meet his eyes without wincing.
"Rough night?" Vahanian greeted them.
Tris grinned and drew up a chair next to Vahanian's bed. "Leave it to you to give us a real challenge."
"Thanks for getting me out of there. I didn't think I was going to beat that one." Vahanian managed a wry grin. "You put on one hell of a show."
Tris chuckled. "Too much time around Carroway. Now, what did you want to tell me so you can go back to sleep?"
"Ran into that lieutenant I told you about from the betting games. Only he's a commander now. Might not have been in for quite such a bad time of it if he hadn't recognized me," Vahanian said, wincing. "Name's Dorran. A real son of the Demon.
"Dorran figured on killing me, so he did some bragging. Told me he was going to salvage his military career, which my 'escape' back then derailed, by doing a job for the Margolan king. Something about taking troops into Margolan to put down a rebellion." Vahanian gave a mirthless smile. "Sorry. I didn't catch more details, but he had just walloped me on the head."
"That's quite enough." Tris glanced at Kiara.
"Doesn't do much for our odds, does it?" she said grimly.
"Sounds like even Jared might have pushed too far, if the army can't keep the peace."
"Maybe the army is the problem," Kiara observed, putting one boot up on the foot of Vahanian's bed and leaning forward onto her knee. "Maybe Ban found a good audience."
"Nargi, marching into Margolan," Tris repeated. "There'll be nothing left."
"There may be a way to stop them," Sakwi said thoughtfully, and they turned to look at him. "I'm from Eastmark, and my travels have taken me to the palace there many times. My king has no love for the Nargi. It would be of great interest to him to know that they stood ready to invade Margolan. It's my duty to tell him. If he were to launch an offensive, it would force the Nargi to withdraw their southern troops to guard their flank."
"I'll help," Kiara added. "King Kalcen was my mother's younger brother. They were quite close, I'm told. Let me send a letter with you, explaining the situation. He may decide he has a personal stake in not seeing me married off to Jared."
"And how do you propose to get to Eastmark?" Vahanian asked Sakwi skeptically.
Sakwi smiled. "The forest will find a way. I'll be ready to go by afternoon."
No amount of argument would dissuade the mage. Carina saw little choice if Tris's gambit were to succeed. Sakwi took his leave of them to get ready.
"I think we'll let you get some rest, too," Tris said, standing. "Now that you're awake, Jolie will have food sent up. You've still got a real beauty of a lip there. I'll tell her to make sure whatever she sends is soft."
"Better phrase that carefully in a place like this," Vahanian replied with a wink. "You might not get what you thought you asked for."
Tris glanced at Carina. "He'll live. Sounds like he's back to his old self."
Carina watched the door shut behind Tris and Kiara. "Now, that's quite enough," she said in her healer's tone. She crossed to Vahanian's bed and gently slipped the extra pillow from behind him so that he could lay flat. That he permitted it gave her some indication of how he was feeling, but he caught her sleeve as she turned to go.
"I never got the chance to ask," Vahanian said, meeting her eyes. "Did they hurt you?" He raised a finger gently to the still-visible outline of the bruise on her cheek.
"I'm all right," Carina said, but she could tell from his eyes that he knew she was lying.
"Never bluff someone who's made a living gambling," Vahanian said. "You don't always have to be the one with the answers, you know. The healer can need healing, too."
His acknowledgment of her ordeal, coupled with the strain of the past days finally overwhelmed what remained of her reserve. She turned away as tears began to streak down her face, finding that her will was no longer sufficient to hold them at bay.
"I'll be all right," she said again, swallowing hard. "It's just going to take a little time." And then, her resolve crumbling, the tears came in earnest, for the near drowning, the Nargi, as cold and enveloping as the swift waters of the river. She covered her face with her hands, her shoulders shaking as deep, racking sobs shook her.
How he managed to stand she never knew, but Vahanian stepped up behind her, turning her gently and folding her against him. He let her sob like a child, wordlessly stroking her hair. She dragged a sleeve across her eyes, aware of what a spectacle she had made of herself.
"I'm sorry," she managed, her voice cracking.
"No one's invincible. Trust me, I know."
"There isn't time for this. There's a job to be done..."
"Let someone else do it for a while." He pulled her with him to sit on the edge of the bed, his strength fading. He slipped his arm around her shoulder, drawing her close to him, and she did not shrug away "You've carried your share. Stop running for a while."
"What makes you think I'm running?"
"We have that in common," Vahanian replied.
"We're not that much alike."
"No? Let me see. Stubborn, willful, driven, self-sufficient, arrogant, and damn good at what we do." His lip twisted wryly. "You're right. Nothing in common."
"Was that supposed to make me feel better?"
Vahanian shook his head, wincing at the effort. "No. That takes time. But as you're so fond of telling me, you have to let the healer close enough to heal."
"Sakwi isn't up to any more than he's done already."
"I wasn't thinking of Sakwi," Vahanian murmured, close enough now that she could feel his breath. "There was something I promised myself in the Nargi camp, if I lived through it."
"What was that?" Carina murmured.
"This," he said, lowering his mouth to hers. For an instant she hesitated. Then she leaned into him, surprised at herself even as she returned the kiss with gentle fervor. A moment later he drew back, and she thought he looked both pleased and a little astonished.
"I love you, Carina," Vahanian said, tilting her chin up to look her in the eyes. "Last night, in the camp, I didn't want to go to the Lady, leaving it unsaid."
Carina felt tears start down her cheeks, but she did not look away. "I love you, too," she whispered, her voice choked. "I've wasted so much time, being afraid—"
He kissed her again, cutting off her words, reluctant to draw away until he began to sway as his strength failed.
"I really ought to be going back downstairs," she stammered, completely at a loss.
Vahanian made no attempt to hold her back, but his eyes searched hers. Carina had the uncomfortable feeling that he could see right past her defenses. She helped him lay back down.
"Come back soon. Don't be afraid," he murmured, looking as if he were about to pass out. "Your virtue is quite safe."
Carina blushed. "Considering where we are, that's saying something. Now get some sleep, before I have to re do what I did last night. When I come back up, I'll see what I can do about the damage that's left."
Vahanian took her hand and pressed the back of it against his lips. "As you wish, m'lady," he said, his eyes closed. She sat with him until he fell asleep again, and while her heart was still thudding, she found that the sense of relief at the confession seemed to push her fears far away, at least for today.