The ghostly Mr Rune sat himself down and ordered a bottle of bubbly. His instructions were brief but explicit: 'The best you have,' said he. I looked on and the real Mr Rune looked on also. 'It is you,' I said. 'Nice suit. Unusual style, though.' 'Cease, please, Rizla,' said Mr Rune.
The ghostly Mr Rune perused the menu. In the kitchen, the ghostly chef shouted at his staff.
'Let us take ourselves over,' said Mr Rune to me, 'to where J apparently am sitting. Let us overhear what there is to be overheard.'
The ghostly Mr Rune did further perusals of his ghostly menu. The waiter returned to him in the company of the champagne, which he uncorked and poured. The ghostly Mr Rune did tasting and said, 'It will have to do,' and then ordered everything upon the menu.
'What odds he finds a rat-bone in his dessert?' I asked the Mr Rune with whom I was standing.
This Mr Rune hushed me into silence and viewed his ghostly doppelganger.
A curious buzzing came from this fellow and he reached into an inside pocket and drew out a small plastic something with buttons upon it, pressed one of these then pressed the plastic something to his ear. 'Rune,' said he. 'It is a phone,' I said. 'A tiny little phone without wires.' 'A mobile phone,' said the real Mr Rune. 'But they have not been invented yet.' Mr Rune looked at me. And I looked at Mr Rune.. 'The future,' I said.
'Exactly. These apparitions are not ghosts from the past. We are witnessing a future event.' 'But how?' I asked, thoroughly puzzled.
Mr Rune raised his hand and we listened as the future Mr Rune spoke into his mobile phone. 'Count Otto,' said he. 'What news? Yes, I see, our contacts in Hollywood have taken up the film rights. That's splendid news. They don't like the name, though. Don't want to call it The Brightonomicon. Sony, you're breaking up there. No, yes, I heard you. Call it what? Well, that's a very foolish name, but I suppose these fellows know their own business best. Although I do recall an evening I spent with Alfred Hitchcock. He was discussing this movie he had in mind, wanted to call it The Cross-Dressing Mother-Loving Motel-Shower-Slasher. I suggested something simpler.
'But, what? A twelve-movie deal based on the cases, with Elijah Wood playing Rizla and Ian McKellen playing me? And who will be playing you? Gary Oldman. Good choice. Well, go ahead and clinch the deal. I'll see you back here in a week. Call me, we'll do lunch at Groucho's.' I looked at the real Mr Rune. And he once more looked at me.
'One of the things I have liked about all this stuff,' I said, 'is that I have never been able to figure out what will happen next. And then when it does happen, it is never less than interesting.'
'This must not come to pass,' said Mr Rune. 'This must not be allowed to come to pass.' 'What year is it?' I asked. 'Who is the president?' 'Rizla, I will strike you with my stick.'
I became somewhat emboldened, although I know not why. 'If this is the future,' I said, 'then it is all your fault. I remember well enough that business at Eat Your Food Nude, all those rock stars who have to die aged twenty-seven. You showed me a glimpse of what would happen if they do not die at the appointed time. And now you are being shown a glimpse of your future. I will bet it is because you have not destroyed the Chronovision. This is what is going to happen because of that. You are going to end up as the partner of Count Otto Black.' 'This can never be allowed to happen,' said Mr Rune.
'Well, in my humble opinion, there is one way to stop it: smash up the Chronovision and all this will vanish away. Chief Whitehawk will be impressed. He will probably lay on a big belly-buster for tomorrow's breakfast. Although whether it will be on the scale of that, I could not say.'
And I pointed towards the starter courses that the future Mr Rune was being served. There were many of them and they were big with it.
'I cannot destroy the Chronovision yet,' said the Mr Rune who was with me in the present. 'I wish that I could, but I cannot.'
'Listen,' I said, 'somehow, someone or something has afforded us this glimpse of the future. It is not some accident that it should happen here and now. It is to show you what is going to happen if you do not take the appropriate steps to stop it happening. Best heed it,' I said. 'Smash up the Chronovision.'
'I cannot,' said Mr Rune once again, 'not until all the cases have been solved. Two remain on the zodiac – the Wiseman of Withdean and the Coldean Cat.' 'That is ridiculous,' I said. And the future Mr Rune got stuck into his starters.
'As Count Otto Black works on behalf of a God who moves between the seconds of time, so do I work on behalf of another. I cannot destroy the Chronovision until I have encountered the Earthly manifestation of my God. I must meet the Wiseman of Withdean, Rizla.' 'Which is why our quest is not yet at an end?' 'Quite so,' said Mr Rune.
'Well, I wish you would not keep springing stuff upon me. Oh, look, your future self is already fmishing that bottle of champagne.'
Mr Rune glanced at the label on the bottle. 'I really do let my standards slip,' said he. 'The present myself would never drink that.'
'So, having seen this future self of yours, what do you intend to do noxvT 'Leave,' said Mr Rune. 'Leave at once.' And that is what we did.