Maybe it was the answer he'd been searching for in my kiss.
"Daniel, I lo--"
"Don't," he whispered. His breath was so hot on my neck. "Don't say it, please."
But I had to. He needed to know how I felt. I needed him to know, "I love you."
Daniel shuddered. A low, rumbling growl echoed deep in his throat. "No!" he roared, and pushed me away from him.
I hit the ground, too shocked to speak.
Daniel, on all fours, scurried back a few feet. "No! No!" He clutched at his neck, as if to grab his stone pendant. But it wasn't there. It was in my hand. The leather strap had snapped in my fingers when he thrust me away.
My hands trembled as I held it out to him.
He reached for it, shaking more than I was. Like an earthquake ravaged in his chest. His eyes blazed as bright as two full moons. He grabbed the pendant, squeezing it so tight it would have sliced his hand had it been sharp, and backed away. The light left his eyes. He breathed hard and fast like he'd just run a marathon.
"I can't do this," he panted.
"Daniel?" I crawled toward him.
He backed away even farther. Sweat beaded on his forehead. He jumped as a car pulled up along the curb. He whispered something so low I could barely understand over the sound of the engine. "It can't be you," I thought he said.
Pete Bradshaw said something as Jude and April got out of the car. A girl's laughter followed. It sounded like Jenny Wilson.
"I can't do it." Daniel retreated into the shadows, still watching the car. "I could never ask."
I glanced at Pete as he waved good-bye to Jude and April. When I turned back, Daniel was already gone. You could never ask what?
ALMOST MIDNIGHT
I hid behind the tree while Jude and April sat on the porch swing and said their good-byes. I pulled my legs to my chest and buried my head in my knees. I tried to stop trembling. I tried to stop thinking about that kiss. I tried to stop thinking about Daniel's reaction to my admission--that frightening look in his eyes. Daniel's words played in reverse in my head. / could never ask. I can't do this. I'm no hero. Your brother knows that. What did my brother know?
That was it. I had to talk to Jude. No more dancing around the subject. No more treating it like nothing. I had to know what had happened between the two of them. How could I truly fix Daniel--how could I help him--if I didn't know what plagued his conscience?
Now if only T could get Jude alone. April's car was in the driveway, but it took them a good half hour to even start inching toward it. I squashed the blanket around my ears to block the sounds of their kissing. April made this little purring noise every time they came up for air.
I must have nodded off because the glow-in-the-dark hands on my watch said it was nearly midnight when I heard April's car finally pull out of the driveway. Jude was about to go into the house when I called his name.
He wheeled around. "Grace, how long have you been there?" He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
"Not long." I scrunched the blanket closer around my shoulders to hide the pink splotches creeping up my neck. "I was just walking back from the MacArthurs'. I was babysitting."
"Oh." He looked at the blanket. "You okay?"
"I need to ask you ..."I stepped closer. "I need to ask you about Daniel."
He jangled his keys in his hand. "What about him?"
"I need to know what happened between you two. Why you hate him so much."
Jude grunted. "So you do care about that?" There was a hint of satisfaction in his voice. "It's about time."
"I've asked you a dozen times. You're the one who won't talk." I stepped up on the porch. "I care, Jude. I've always cared about you."
"Not as much as you care about him."
"How can you say that? You're my brother."
"If you cared so much about me, then how did Daniel get that coat?"
"His coat?"
"That coat he was wearing earlier today. The red-and-black North Face. How did he get it?"
"I... I gave it to him." I didn't understand why that coat was important. And then I remembered. "It was yours, wasn't it?" Jude didn't answer.
"I'm sorry." I dropped the blanket at my feet. "I didn't realize. That night I got stranded on Markham, Daniel came along and fixed the car. I gave him the coat in return.
He really needed it. He's been through so many bad things--it just felt like something small I could do to help."
"Yeah, well, bad things happen to bad people. Didn't you think about that? They get what they deserve."
A shiver ran through me. "What about Maryanne Duke? She never did anything bad in her life, and she still froze to death on her porch. Something still mauled her body."
Jude jerked his head up. "Something? Try someone. You're so blind you don't even see it, Grace. You're letting Daniel walk all over you--just like Dad."
"We're helping him. He needs us--all of us."
"He's using you. He's using you both. I saw him with you that night on Markham. Do you really think it was a coincidence that he just happened along? April told me what you've done for him." His eyes narrowed as he looked at the fallen blanket around my ankles. "And I can only imagine what you've done with him."
"Jude!" What a hypocrite. "You don't even know what you're talking about."
"Don't I? Daniel will do anything to get what he wants." Jude glared at me. "Tell me, whose idea was it to help him get back into your art class? Whose idea was it to invite him to Thanksgiving dinner?" "Mine. They were my ideas."
"Were they really? Think about it, Grace. Daniel didn't somehow plant those ideas in your head? Subtly suggest how you could help him?"
I paused. "None of that matters. He's not manipulating me, and he's not manipulating Dad."
"Ha!" Jude smirked. "How do you think Daniel even got into Holy Trinity? Who do you think brought him back here? He's got Dad under his spell ... and for all you know, Daniel's the one who stole James. He sure did find him easily, don't you think? It's just the kind of thing someone like him would do. Pretend to find a baby so people will think he's a hero."
"He wasn't pretending. I was with him. He found him so easily because of his abilities. ..."
Jude fell into the swing. His eyes wide. His mouth open.
Did I say too much?