Eden’s eyebrows went up at that. “Pardon me?”
“Well, now that she mentions it,” Darrak said. “I do seem able to take corporeal form during daylight hours, don’t I?”
“Where do I sign?” Eden asked. “Let’s do this.”
Rosa pointed to the right place on the form and Eden signed her name. Then the woman snatched the document away, rolled it up, and put it into her bag.
Darrak sighed. “I guess the thing about three whole days of torture leading to my complete decimation gave you no pause at all?”
“You’re a demon,” Eden said under her breath. “Demons lie.”
“We don’t have to have hours of so-called evil, orgasmic sex. I was just saying that because it’s been so long for me. Vicarious sex through my hosts has been unfulfilling to say the least.”
“I don’t really care.”
Would he really be in torturous pain for days before finally dying? Did demons die? She suddenly wished she’d paid more attention back in Sunday school. But that was a long time ago and, now that she thought about it, this hadn’t been one of the topics. She remembered hearing about Noah and his ark of friendly animals, but the subject of what to do when one was possessed by a demon had not been covered, surprisingly enough.
“Aren’t you scared?” Eden asked quietly. “Not even a little bit?”
“No. From what I’ve seen so far, I don’t think this woman has enough power to get rid of me — she’s weak. Even if that vial was filled with real holy water it wouldn’t make any difference at all. And you already found out yourself what happens when you read from the Bible. Nothing. And you know why? Because I’m not evil. I mean you no harm. All I want is your help to solve this problem in a different and much more mutually beneficial way.”
“You sure talk a lot.”
“It’s been three hundred years without somebody to talk to. So sue me. No, this lady is the one who’s all talk. And, besides, how can I possibly be afraid of somebody wearing a dress that ugly?”
“Darrak—” Rosa began, “I say your true name in order to bind you.”
“You told her my name?” Darrak asked with annoyance.
She frowned. “Aren’t you supposed to be… binded, or whatever, now?”
“Bound. And no. Not so much.”
Rosa’s forehead creased. “Does the malevolent presence not acknowledge his true name?”
Eden shifted nervously in her seat. “Doesn’t seem to.”
“Darrak,” Rosa said again. “I bind you, you filthy spirit.”
“See, now she’s just being a bitch about it,” Darrak said.
Eden rolled her eyes. “This isn’t working.”
“He must have lied about his name,” Rosa said emphatically. “If he’d given you his true name, this wouldn’t be a problem.”
“She’s right,” Darrak said. “One point for the lady in the muumuu.”
“Darrak’s not your real name?”
“More of a nickname. Sorry, I don’t give out my real name to someone I’ve just met. I’d say you shouldn’t be offended if you hadn’t just tried to use it against me. Now can we end this while we all still have our dignity intact?”
“Mother, let me try,” Malcolm stepped forward.
She nodded. “Very well.”
The college kid, lanky and lean with that angelic face, approached Eden and leaned against her desk. He had a Bible in his hand. The vial of holy water rested on the desk next to him.
He leaned over and looked her directly in the eyes. “Demon, I commit myself to casting ye from this innocent woman’s body.”
Darrak let out a small gasp inside of her. “Shit. This guy’s the real deal.”
He was? This college kid was a genuine exorcist — a true believer — when his mother wasn’t?
“Unclean spirit—” Malcolm dipped his fingers into the bottle of holy water and brought it to Eden’s forehead, before drawing a small cross there. There was a slight burning sensation as it dried.
Darrak must have felt more than a slight burn because he gasped again. “No—”
“Leave this place,” Malcolm continued evenly. “Return to the eternal darkness from which you were spawned and never return.”
Eden inhaled sharply. She felt something then. An unpleasant tightening deep inside of her. Whatever Malcolm was doing was working.
And that’s what she wanted, right?
“Eden—” Darrak didn’t sound happy. “Please, stop this. Don’t let him exorcise me.”
Malcolm then took the small black Bible in his hand and without any warning, pressed it firmly against Eden’s forehead. She shrieked out loud as her chair skidded back a few feet on its wheels to crash against the wall.
“Leave her!” Malcolm raised his voice. “And do not return. I bind ye and cast ye into the pit forevermore.”
The tearing and tightening sensation increased and Eden began to panic. Was this the right decision? Was she going to hurt somebody who — although their presence was more than a bit disconcerting to say the least — hadn’t actually hurt her in any way? Were demons really capable of being good as Darrak claimed? And if so, was she the one being evil by essentially hiring somebody to tear him apart in order to get rid of him — as if she was simply cauterizing an unwanted wart?
“What is your true name, demon?” Malcolm’s pressure on the Bible against her forehead increased. “Tell me. You now look into the face of justice and all that which is good in the world. You shall be incapable of lying to me now.”
“My name…” Darrak began. “It’s… it’s… no. No. Please, Eden, stop this. I’ll do anything. I promise we can fix this in another way!”
Eden gritted her teeth and grabbed Malcolm’s wrist. “Okay, I think that’s enough. Stop it.”
“Mother, restrain her. The demon is forcing her to resist me.” Rosa moved quickly, placing her cane to the side, and kneeled beside Eden’s chair to hold her wrists down against the armrests. Either she was really strong or Eden was suddenly really weak, but it was enough to keep her firmly pinned in place.
“It’ll be okay, honey,” she said. “Just think pleasant thoughts. Pure, virginal thoughts. We’ll get rid of that demon for you just like you asked us to.”
“I’ve changed my mind,” Eden gritted out. “It’s not really a demon.”
Rosa tilted her head to the side. “It’s not?”
“No… I… I had this spicy Mexican food last night. It’s only a bad case of heartburn. I don’t need an exorcism. I need some Pepto-Bismol!”