"That is what I said," Chiun put in. "He is all right. Another word for 'adequate.' I am glad he admits it."
"Oh, he's just being modest."
"Not him," said Chiun, eyeing the pair with undisguised concern. Victoria Hoar had drifted up to Remo as if he were a flower and she was a bee. Or was it the other way around? Either way, they were drawing together in a pre-copulation way. Chiun knew the signs. He would have to do something about this before Remo ruined their assignment.
"No, not him," Chiun repeated, suddenly appearing in the space between the two. He looked up at Victoria Hoar's dreamy face. "On the other hand, I am modest. Extremely modest. Possibly unsurpassed as a modest person."
But the white woman named Victoria Hoar did not deign to take notice of the Master of Sinanju. She continued looking into Remo's hard face. Chiun looked again. Remo's expression was no longer hard. It was softening. Worse, it was soft.
"Arrggh!" Chiun said.
"What's that you said, Little Father?" Remo asked.
"I said 'Arrggh!' "
"I thought so," Remo said absently.
"Why don't I show you around the grounds?" Victoria Hoar said suddenly, taking Remo by the hand. "Get you acquainted with the fine work of Eldon Sluggard World Ministries."
"A good thought," said Chiun, taking Victoria Hoar by her free hand. "You may show us both around." Victoria Hoar felt Chiun's hand in hers. It was strong for a hand so frail-looking and thin-boned. She looked down at the shiny head of the tiny Oriental, which was bald but for two white tufts of hair over each ear. Chiun was smiling up at her. He looked like a pleased little elf. But his hands were grinding the complicated bones of her palm against one another. It hurt. Victoria Hoar attempted to disengage her hand, but the little Oriental would not let go.
"Yes, of course. I did mean both of you," she gasped painfully.
Only then did the pressure stop.
When she led them from the room, Victoria was holding no one's hand.
"What's with her?" Remo whispered as they followed Victoria Hoar down the corridor and into the coolness of the late-spring afternoon.
"Fickle," Chiun said. "I would watch that one."
"Funny. She seemed so warm only a minute ago."
"A certain sign of fickleness," said Chiun. He looked around the quadrangle. "We are obviously working for a man who likes to see his name on everything."
Hearing that, Victoria Hoar turned her head. "Reverend Sluggard believes in glorifying God," she said. She adressed her statement to Remo, not Chiun. Remo smiled. She smiled back. Chiun decided this was an appropriate moment to speak up.
"How does putting his name on every building glorify the Supreme Creator?" he asked.
"Reverend Sluggard is God's representative on earth. What glorifies Reverend Sluggard glorifies God."
"Says who?" asked Chiun.
"Hush, Little Father," Remo admonished. "Victoria is explaining."
"Call me Vicki if you wish," she said, impulsively taking Remo's hand once more. Chiun moved to her other side to grasp the other hand. Obviously this white woman was stubborn. But Chiun saw that she had entwined her arm around Rema's and laid her other hand upon his forearm.
"I asked a question," Chiun said huffily. "Who says this man represents the Supreme Creator?"
"Why, Reverend Sluggard does," said Victoria Hoar, as if that explained everything. "He was fasting one day and God spoke to him. God gave him a holy rapture, and told him to build all this."
"Were there any witnesses?"
"No. Why should there be? God's personal representative would never lie, now, would he?"
"I've been thinking about God a lot lately," Remo said.
As they walked, Victoria pointed out that just last month the Reverend Sluggard had raised over a million dollars, which he donated to the starving people of Ethiopia.
"It used to be two million a month, but donations have dropped off. Those bad religious figures," she added conspiratorially.
"What bad religious figures?" Remo asked.
"Well, there's Slim and Jaimie Barker, Moral Robbins-"
"Never heard of them," said Remo.
"Don't you watch television?" Victoria Hoar wanted to know.
"No, not really," Remo said.
"Or read newspapers?"
"I try to keep up with the Sunday funnies," said Remo.
"Good," said Victoria Hoar.
"How long has this Sluggard been donating money to the starving Ethiopians?" Chiun put in suddenly.
"Oh, I don't know. Years."
"More than two?"
"At least three."
"Then why are the Ethiopians still starving? If you gave them over seventy-two million dollars, even Ethiopians could find a way to feed their populace," said Chiun.
"I don't really know," answered Victoria Hoar. "I never thought about it. I guess they breed faster than we can donate money."
"That makes no sense," Chiun said scornfully.
"Sounds about right to me," Remo said brightly. He was looking into Victoria's eyes again. In another minute, Chiun was sure, they would fall onto the grass and begin rutting in front of everyone. The Master of Sinanju looked around. Maybe if he pretended to stumble against something and break it, the spell would be broken. There was a towering cross in the middle of the quadrangle. It looked like gold, but Chiun recognized at a glance that it was only brass polished to a high sheen. Etched in the horizontal bar of the cross was a legend, "Do Unto Others . . ."
"Why is the rest of the quotation missing?" Chiun asked suddenly. He had decided against destroying the cross. Knowing Remo's present sensitivity, he would probably accuse the Master of Sinanju of violating some silly white taboo.
"What?" asked Victoria Hoar, whirling. Her eyes followed Chiun's pointing finger to the cross. "Oh, that. I think they couldn't fit it all in."