"No. Into a woman. And seeing that this woman was fair, he mated with her. And they had a son. And that son was Tangun, the first Korean. This was ten thousand years ago, and since then, all time in Korea dates from the first day Tangun walked upright."
"That is a silly story," snapped Remo.
"And I suppose you whites have a more magnificent origin."
"Yeah, we do. Adam and Eve. God created Adam and then he created Eve from Adam's rib. This took place in the Garden of Eden, where there was plenty of food and the sun always shone."
"From a rib? Oh, Remo, you are so funny. At least my story has a basis in plausibility. In my story, the Supreme Creator did not work with spare parts like some greasy-fingered white mechanic."
The Master of Sinanju slapped his bony knees. His hazel eyes twinkled merrily. His frail body shook with glee.
"That isn't the full story," Remo said heatedly. "And then Adam and Eve mated and produced two sons, Cain and Abel. Cain slew Abel."
"Typical," clucked Chiun. "Even with an entire garden to themselves and plenty of food, they could not get along. How white."
"I'm not sure how much of it I actually believe," Remo admitted grudgingly.
"Oh? Is this a dent in the mighty armor of your faith?" demanded Chiun.
"I said I wasn't sure. That's the Bible story. There are scientific theories too."
"If you are going to tell me the monkey story," said Chiun, "I may have to leave the room to spare your white feelings."
"I read an article in a scientific magazine once. These scientists claimed that by analyzing human chromosomes or something they had figured out that all human life on earth could be traced back to one woman who had lived in Africa millions of years ago."
"One woman?"
"One woman."
"All life?" demanded Chiun.
"All life," repeated Remo firmly. "It's been proven. Scientifically."
"They must not have tested any Koreans. Our people are only ten thousand years old. And we did not come from Africa."
"All life," Remo said again.
"And you believed this?"
"Scientifically proven."
"If this is so, how did that woman get there?"
Remo looked doubtful. "The article didn't say," he admitted.
"Did it say how this one woman who came before all others came to be with child?"
"No. It didn't."
"Maybe the Supreme Creator took her rib and then created the first man. You whites are always getting your history backwards."
"That's not funny. And just because they left out a few details doesn't mean they haven't proven their case."
"They left out two important details like that and you accepted all the rest of their nonsense! Remo, you are too much. You will believe anything. Even Reverend Sluggard's chicanery."
"I haven't made up my mind about him. Yet."
"And I have not finished telling you the religious beliefs of Sinanju."
"I'm listening."
"I have told you about the Supreme Creator. He lives in a place called the Void. When Koreans die, they cast off their broken bodies and join him in the void. "
Remo waited. "What else?"
"Else? What else can there be?"
"What about heaven and hell?"
"Silly stories created by unholy holy men to manipulate other men."
"What about sin?"
"That is a priest's word," Chiun spat. "We believe that a man makes mistakes. If they are little mistakes, he will learn from them. If they are big mistakes, he will naturally pay for the consequences of his actions within his lifetime."
"What about forgiveness?"
"The Supreme Creator does not hold grudges."
"What about Jesus?"
"What about Buddha? And Mohammed? And Zoroaster? And Shiva?"
"Don't confuse me with tales of Shiva. I asked about Jesus. "
Chiun shrugged. "A carpenter. A rabble-rouser. We had a contract on him at one time, but something more important came up. By the time my ancestor got around to him, he was already dead."
"I was raised to believe he was the Son of God."
"And Masters of Sinanju are taught to do business with kings, not their princes."
"You've got a cockamamie religious system, you know that?"
"Cockamamie?"
"It's too ...too ..."