"Up yours!" Remo said, and started to work on them. On the deck of the Seaworthy Gargantuan, Reverend-General Eldon Sluggard saw the speedboats approach. "While you-all are gettin' into the water," he said, "let me speed you on your way with a few words from the Good Book." He opened his mock Bible and began to recite.
" 'Though Ah walk into the Valley of Death, Ah will fear no Ah-ranian for Ah am the meanest sonovabitch in the valley.' "
"Oh, shut up," Victoria Hoar snapped. She was suddenly beside him. "Get into one of those goddamned boats. You're supposed to be their leader, not their cheerleader. "
"Ah'm shoutin' encouragment," he protested. "Ah'll be along once they're rollin'."
Victoria Hoar reached down and pulled one of the throwing knives from Sluggard's own boot. She placed the point at his crotch and warned, "They still make eunuchs in this part of the world. You'd fit right in."
"Ah'm goin'," promised Reverend-General Sluggard. Then, from across the water, there was a sudden hush. Not even the speedboats could smother it. The hush was momentary. It was followed by a long, low sigh. Then a gasp. Then shouts of "Praise be!"
"What the hell is going on?" Victoria Hoar demanded. She looked out over the water. Her red mouth froze open.
"What the fuck?" said Reverend-General Eldon Sluggard.
For running across the water toward the Seaworthy Gargantuan was the Master of Sinanju.
He ran on top of the swells. His sandaled feet made little splashes, but other than that proof of contact with the water he appeared to be floating across the Gulf.
"I do not believe it," Victoria sputtered.
"I told you! I told you!" shouted Eldon Sluggard. "He is the devil, the very devil. He ain't human!"
As everyone watched open-mouthed, Chiun sprinted to the hull of the Seaworthy Gargantuan. He leapt upon the slippery black hull like a spider. He clung for a moment, then there came a sound like a metal punch going through sheet steel. The sound was repeated. It came again.
Sluggard leaned over the rail.
Below, he saw the old Oriental scaling the hull. With each step, Chiun jammed a finger into the hull. That was what was causing the sound. He used the resulting holes for finger and toe grips.
Eldon Sluggard jumped with each sound.
"Save me! Save me!" he wailed, ducking behind Victoria Hoar. He got down on his knees and blubbered.
"A miracle!" the Paladins of the Lord cried. "It's a sign from Heaven!" They lined the rails to watch, their weapons forgotten.
Chiun came over the rail. His sandals were not even wet.
The Knights of the Lord gathered around him. They sought to touch his robe. They asked for his blessing. The Master of Sinanju evaded their hands even though he was swiftly surrounded. Fingers reached for the hem of his kimono sleeves and it was as if the cloth was insubstantial. Some hands reached out to touch his hands and withdrew, stinging. They never saw the swift, remonstrating blows that made their finger bones go numb.
"I am Chiun."
"Chiun. Great Chiun!" they cried. They shouted his name to the heavens.
Chiun, taken aback, allowed his features to soften. "Did you say 'great'?" he asked.
"Great Chiun, the messenger of the Lord!" they called. Chiun smiled. Proper acclaim. This was something new. He raised his open hands as if in blessing.
"I call upon you to cease your war-making," he said.
"It will be done, O Chiun."
"Great Chiun," the Master of Sinanju corrected.
"We have to stop this," Victoria hissed in Sluggard's ear. "He's ruining our whole plan."
"Your whole plan. And I don't want any part of that devil. "
"I have an idea. Start reading."
Eldon Sluggard opened his Bible to a random page. " 'Beware false idols,' " he sang out. " 'For the devil has taken human form to tempt the guillible.' "
He was ignored.
Suddenly Victoria wrenched the book from Sluggard's hands. She presented it to the crowd around Chiun, showing the blank white pages.
"Behold!" she cried. "The pages are blank. "The Lord is speaking through his true messenger. It's a miracle!"
"So is walking on water," someone pointed out.
"That's been done before," said Victoria. "This is new. "
"Is it truly a miracle?" someone asked. The question was addressed respectfully to the Great Chiun.
"It is a fraud," Chiun replied. "Now I command you to throw away your unnecessary weapons."
His heart sinking, Reverend-General Sluggard watched as the rifles and bayonets and grenades went overboard. "We're dead," Victoria Hoar said.
"Not me," said Eldon Sluggard. "I'm outta here!" He started to belly over the rail.
"Don't be a fool. Look at those speedboats out there."
"You know that old sayin', better the devil you know than the devil you don't?"
"Yes."
"It don't apply here," said Reverend-General Eldon Sluggard just before he went over the rail. It was a long fall. He hit the water with a huge splash. Sluggard bobbed up on his stomach, facedown, his empty scabbard floating beside him.
A speedboat filled with Revolutionary Guards puttered up and he was pulled from the water. The victorious cries from below indicated that the Iranians recognized the face of their hated enemy Reverend Eldon Sluggard. The speedboat dug in and raced for shore.
On the shore, Remo had routed the Iranians. It was a disappointment. He had hoped to inflict more damage. But as soon as the first few fell with assorted internal injuries, the others turned tail and ran. Remo ran after them. He kicked whirling tires flat. He popped the treads of the decrepit tanks. But the soldiers he pulled out of the ruined vehicles were mostly boys. Few of them looked older than thirteen. Remo hadn't the heart to kill any of them. He sent them on their way with solid kicks to the seats of their khaki pants.
Disgusted, he returned to shore.
On a little hillock, the Grand Ayatollah was shouting imprecations at the Gulf. His bony fists shook with rage. His beard collected spittle from his sphincterlike mouth.
Remo came up from behind and tapped him on the shoulder.